I’ve been watching this exercise unfold this past week or so with great interest. It’s not all too surprising your feelings haven’t changed. That’s also an indicator in itself, right? I expect as you go through more names though, it will start to become clearer where each name falls in relation to others. That’s the plan at least!
To the names themselves. I’d never come across the name [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] before you shared it on your lists. [name_u]New[/name_u] or unheard of names tend to be quite divisive because they’re unfamiliar, but within minutes this one became a favourite for me out of the contenders. [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] seems the most in balance with H and A’s middle names, and I absolutely love the echoes of the ‘o’ ‘m’ and ‘r’ sounds across the combination. But since you shared your end of week comments and released the next name, I’ve felt my enthusiasm slip overall.
I hadn’t really noticed the name [name_f]Petra[/name_f] much until now. It seems so uncommon, yet everyone’s heard of it. I love that distinctive, sparky ‘P’ even though I’m usually not fond of the letter. I’m just seeing it in a completely new light, and it’s such a pleasure. I personally prefer one middle name, as is the convention in my family and where I live. I see the first, middle and surname as each holding its own position and role, so two middle names feels like it diminishes the value in that they share the one position (although I’d consider a double-barrelled name as one name with two parts). I’m very supportive of your desire to use Jule, not so enthused by [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] myself. I admire the beauty and intrigue of mythological names but I’m not drawn to them on humans. This led me down the path of wondering how meanings which are significant to the parent are later considered by the wearer. What might your daughter think of her name story? Though one can never know, it’s a curious perspective to explore.
There are aspects I enjoy about each name but when I thought about which name I’d rather have for myself, it was unquestionably [name_f]Petra[/name_f]. I found that I almost ignored the middle names entirely, because of the prominence first names take in self identity and daily life. While I adore [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] in theory, I don’t love the quirky and awkward edges on myself, nor the small impracticalities that would come with it. The streamlined, at once familiar and exotic [name_f]Petra[/name_f] is so, so attractive. I like the idea of [name_u]Pip[/name_u], [name_u]Pepper[/name_u], [name_f]Pesha[/name_f], [name_u]Pasha[/name_u] (although, [name_u]Sasha[/name_u]), [name_f]Pia[/name_f] and [name_f]Petal[/name_f] as potential nicknames around the home.
I love [name_f]Petra[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u] as well! It’s such a pretty combo. I think that [name_f]Perpetua[/name_f] sounds more similar to H and A’s first names and would match better, but [name_f]Perpetua[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u] is a lot compared to your sons’ names.
I also think that [name_u]Jule[/name_u] should be kept in the running. It’s a beautiful name that honors an amazing person! It also goes nicely with your sons’ shorter middle names.
I still slightly prefer [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] - it’s just such a beautiful name! I really love [name_u]Jule[/name_u], though. If I may make a few suggestions, maybe [name_f]Perpetua[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u] or [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u]?
This week’s name is no debutante so many of you will recognize her. However, feedback as to how she has sat with you over time would be much appreciated.
[details=“[name_f]Twila[/name_f]”]
I went into [name_f]Twila[/name_f] a lot in this post:
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[details=“[name_f]Antigone[/name_f]”]
We just dealt with [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] here so I won’t quote that post again so soon.
Trigger Warning
But to follow up on the question of how I’ll address the tragic elements with my children, I’m not sure what to say other than I talk really openly with my kids as is and this will prove to be the case even more as they grow. We lost a friend who took her own life during quarantine and we have talked with H about it. In our adoption process we were also open to children conceived through incest, and would not have named an adopted child [name_f]Antigone[/name_f]. I think the positive factors to [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] and her story far outweigh the taboo ones. But even the taboo ones open up dialogue. I guess this would fit in with my “Naming Sexual Assault” post. I guess I just ultimately don’t feel the same way about these things as others might. But I also think the tragic elements just really take a backseat in this case.
[name_f]Antigone[/name_f] is just the perfect middle with [name_f]Twila[/name_f], though.
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[details=“[name_f]Minerva[/name_f]”]
[name_f]Minerva[/name_f] is a longtime favorite, for both of us. If it weren’t for her pronunciation in [name_u]French[/name_u] (very close to the expression loosely translated as, “it’s annoying the crap out of me”) she would likely be our top first name pick by a lot. Despite the very valid reservations, it is nevertheless very hard for me to imagine not using it. So even relegating a top favorite to the third spot here winds up feeling great.
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[details=“[name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f]”]
[name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] is by far my favorite [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] pairing. There is something so light and flouncy and yet so chic about these two together that I just LOVE.
[name_f]Minerva[/name_f] comes in to turn this name into a T.A.M. combo. [name_m]Tam[/name_m] is my MIL’s maiden name. [name_f]My[/name_f] in-laws are divorced. We honored my side with HF’s name. We honored AR’s birth family in keeping his name. We honored FIL’s side in passing on the surname for each of our children. So MIL’s is the only side that hasn’t been honored in any way yet. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom really thinks it would be worthwhile and the right choice to honor this side, not mine. I’m not sure I agree with her, but I definitely felt it was worth exploring and now I have so many TAM and -ta M options I love.
[name_f]Twila[/name_f] and [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] together signal to me the “double-woven” image of [name_f]Twila[/name_f] with [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] as the weaver. It reminds me of Arachne and [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] (even if [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] is shown in a rather poor light through that myth), one of my favorites of all of Greek/Latin mythology.
[name_f]Twila[/name_f] on her own seems the least fitting to me of all 13/14 first names on list for consideration. But considering how long she has been a favorite (without considering the sibset fit with H0rat1o, ever my frontrunner for a boy), I can see myself using it. And I think that with these two middles, she pretty much screams my style (with 3 absolute favorite names together, perhaps even more so than any other name on the list? Idk…).
The downside is that despite getting [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] out of the first spot, this name doesn’t intuitively work in either Japanese or [name_u]French[/name_u] (the languages I use with my kids). So it would still be nicknames that feel a bit tangential that would make the difference.
These are three names otherwise without true honor. The initials carry the meaning and make it so I get to use 3 alltime favorites in one pop.
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So, how does she compare? How does she stand up to time?
Twila [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] has been one of my favourites from the start. It’s a nice blend of offbeat vintage, mythology and grandeur.
I don’t like [name_f]Twila[/name_f] quite as much as the other two options with your boys. It seems like a little less grand of a name than H and A. Also there is a character on Schitt’s [name_u]Creek[/name_u] named [name_f]Twila[/name_f] who is kind of dopey. I know that association will fade, but it’s definitely current. The things I like about this one are the TAM honor and that you get to use [name_f]Minerva[/name_f].
I love [name_f]Twila[/name_f], as you know! It’s about even with [name_f]Petra[/name_f] for me! Fun fact: [name_f]My[/name_f] parents love this name and it would’ve been on their shortlist for me but my grandpa hated it. Still makes me mad because I would LOVE to be named [name_f]Twila[/name_f]/Twyla (how they would’ve spelled it). I love the sound and my favorite part is the subtle tie to [name_f]Twyla[/name_f] dance shoes!
We’re only three names in and I’m already torn between them.
I love [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] but I voted [name_f]Petra[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u] because it feels more meaningful as a whole. Your DH likes it and [name_u]Jule[/name_u] seems like a wonderful honor name.
I also love [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] in the middle!
So it’s between [name_f]Petra[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u] and [name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f].
Ok. If I was just going by my preference for a first name I would pick [name_f]Petra[/name_f]. But…your reasons for loving [name_f]Twila[/name_f] make me like it too.
So what it comes down to for me is either honoring [name_u]Jule[/name_u] or choosing a TAM honor name.
Hmm…
The fact that all three names in [name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] are some of your favorites makes me think this is the best one…so far.
Oh my goodness [name_f]Twila[/name_f] is AMAZING! I love it so much! What a great name!
I think that this combo flows the best with H and A. Their names both have a long first name and a short middle, so this combo having a shorter first name and longer middles helps balance it out. This could also work with [name_f]Petra[/name_f], but I just thought of this now and I honestly prefer [name_f]Twila[/name_f]. H0rat1o F3lix, [name_f]Ana[/name_f]$ta$1o R@z, and [name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] is absolute perfection!
One note about honoring: I think that, since you can’t honor everyone in one name, it might be helpful to narrow down who you want to honor the most and then go from there? (Please take my suggestion with a grain of salt, though, because I don’t know your exact situation/what will work best for you.) I think at most you would be able to honor two people/lines/events.
I love [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] and [name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f]! They’re gorgeous, they’re pretty, they’re amazing!(I could go on for hours)
@SparkleNinja18, that is a fun fact! I would have been [name_f]Clothilde[/name_f] or [name_f]Imogen[/name_f]. Both names I LOVE! I love my name but I think I’d likely prefer to be one of those, though I can never know.
This IS the question. @whatchamacallit you’ve steered me in this direction, too. I really need to figure out what honor is most important to me and let that be my guide. It is so hard, though!!
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I had a big discussion about this this week. It is feeling beyond difficult for me to narrow these possibilities. I want a name that does it all. I mean, I remember getting feedback with [name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f] [name_f]Helen[/name_f] [name_f]Pearl[/name_f] that all the different trails of honor were honestly TOO much to pack in one name. @katinka you were in this camp, I believe. I both want and don’t want an overly complicated name that is multi-faceted with a bunch of different angles and dimensions. What I really want is the sense of confidence that something is just RIGHT. With [name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f] everything eventually fell into place and just felt totally right. With HF we knew for years that was the combo we wanted.
With HF, his initials are significant, H is an actual family name so the honor is very evident. F3l1x was just a name we loved. The meaning was auspicious and tied him to his Chinese heritage. Easy peasy. The end. A few sentences to explain when people ask.
I WOULD NOT change H’s name, now or in the past, but if we hadn’t used it back then, and now 4 years later it was on the table, the F3l1x might not be what I’d pair with it. And THAT feeling makes me nervous. Because F is the name without deep meaning to us. I worry that a name we love for just love will leave me feeling like that in a few years. Whereas I, with my deep sentiments of connection to my ancestors, don’t see myself second-guessing an honor name in the same way. If I pack the honor in, I hedge my bets, especially since this time around, there is barely a single name that is a straightforward family name honor.
[name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f] has wrestled with me this week as I have been wrestling with these big questions. It has been a much less comfortable week of quiet name contemplation and meditation than the previous weeks. I haven’t hit a breakthrough yet but it feels imminent. The tension is growing and something is going to click here. It may give us ultimate clarity (what we will name her) or it may just give us a clear direction or a way to narrow. But this week was HARD work… there must be a payoff soon.
I can definitely relate to this. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though there are tons of beautiful names I’d like to use just because I love them, I don’t think I’d be happy long-term unless I chose a name with deeper significance.
I hope that does help you guys at least narrow it down a bit for now.
[details=“[name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f]”]
We have always liked the idea of one our children having a hard C/K. With our one syllable K surname they just tend to sound so zippy. That would be a real bonus here. We also LOVE the hidden -io- to match her brothers without sounding obnoxious. That is a real draw to [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f], honestly.
I don’t love the mythology, and I find the possible meaning of “cassia juice” as lackluster at best. The possible roundabout alternative of cassia (via cassius) meaning “empty, vain” and -peia meaning “producing” isn’t much better. The meaning of Kassiope I’ve seen of “she whose words excel” is kinda nice. But straightforward etymology is always nicer for me and this is rather one of those names left up to interpretation.
I love that the [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] カシオペア was a Japanese train line (discontinued to make way for the Hokkaido Shinkansen line). I don’t know how many of you may have seen the film [name_f]Mirai[/name_f] (it is currently on Netflix in the US at least) but it is a truly darling film about a 4 year old boy adjusting to being a big brother. When his baby sister comes home and his parents ask him what he thinks they should name her, the boy starts naming Japanese train names. Anyways… if you watch the film, that kid is basically HF. They totally modeled that child after him without realizing it. So this tangential connection would be sweet.
I’m not in love with the nickname [name_f]Cassie[/name_f], which does feel inevitable, but I don’t dislike it either. “Peia” (pay-uh), “[name_f]Pia[/name_f],” and “[name_f]Posie[/name_f]” or even “Kissy” seem preferable to me. “[name_f]Io[/name_f]” if I can convince my partner. Speaking of pay-uh, I do prefer this pronunciation of the name, but the [name_u]Cassio[/name_u]-pee-uh pronunciation doesn’t bother me, and I’m aware she would get it a fair bit as a first attempt.
[name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] is a beautiful name overall. I love the sounds. I think she stylistically fits so well with her brothers’ names. If there were ever going to be a good excuse to go with a 5 syllable name, it is having the unexpected and welcome surprise of A’s 5-syllable name in the sibset. I love so many 5 syllable names and I think this one just fits in practically every way.
She is sparkly, a tad dramatic but not melodramatic, and
[name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] was our top sister name for [name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f] so there would be something nice about using it anyway.
Downside is that when I mentioned it to my mom last year, she had never heard it (she loves names). She said she didn’t mind it, but the whole reaction was just rather unenthusiastic when she normally LOVES the names I choose. I’m sure she would learn to love it and I know I wouldn’t ever get negativity about it, but still. Unenthusiastic.
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[details=“[name_u]Jule[/name_u]”]
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[details=“[name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u]”]
I like that [name_u]Jule[/name_u] would featured with this pair in a more concrete way (as the only middle name, and therefore up front and feeling more important). The whole name, middle included, sits just right next to her brothers’ names. The four letter middle with that sort of sepia-toned vintage quality but also sounds modern-ness seems right in line with her brothers’ middles.
There isn’t all that much that makes this combo particularly special just because these names sit side by side, except that it gives me lovely imagery of “glimmering, glinting, jewel-studded things” (that’s a quote from [name_f]Meghan[/name_f] Cox Gurdon… about good books, not names, but here it is!). I consider both of these names as jewel-tone and velvety so despite their general differences, they sing together as a constellation.
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While I appreciate [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] [name_u]Jule[/name_u] it doesn’t feel like it has the sparkle that I associate with [name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f] [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] and [name_f]Twila[/name_f] [name_f]Antigone[/name_f] [name_f]Minerva[/name_f]
If I have to rank your options thus far it would be
[name_f]Rosmerta[/name_f]
[name_f]Twila[/name_f]
[name_f]Petra[/name_f]
[name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f]
Cassiopeia is perfect in theory. She looks gorgeous. She’s a great match with H & A.
I love that [name_u]Jule[/name_u] gets a place to really shine here too.
I love the connection to the constellation.
I’m just not a huge fan of the nn [name_f]Cassie[/name_f] or [name_m]Cas[/name_m] (except on a boy) and that kind of puts me off [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f]. I’ve always wanted to like this name too.
I do like [name_f]Pia[/name_f] quite a bit but if you prefer the “pay-uh” pronunciation (I do too), it’s a little confusing.
I actually prefer Kassiope I think, but then it loses the direct association with the constellation.
I’m torn because I do like the idea of a C/K name with your surname too. I love the repeated sounds.
In conclusion, while [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] isn’t my favorite name on its own, I can see all the reasons why it would be a good choice for you.
Hopefully a week of sitting with it will make you fall even more in love with her or let you know she’s not the one.
