DH ex-wife named her cat our top name - Jill, Lemon, Help!

[name]Hi[/name] Berries,

It’s me Bluebonnet, [name]Gigi[/name]'s mom.

This is a true story. My husband’s ex-wife knows what we intend on naming our daughter - [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name].

Well guess what her new cat’s name is? [name]Ginger[/name]. All the regulars here know who I am and that [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] is my favorite name.

We are in a major custody battle with the ex-wife. So please don’t suggest we ask her to reconsider. She did this with ill intent to alienate us and new sister from my step-sons life. We only have email communication with her. There is no sensibility there. Only sickness. My step-son is worried about this and worried it will hurt me as he knows the games she plays.

I know this sounds like the most ridiculous thing. I don’t even know who to vent to. My husband and family have said that if I change now I will be letting her win. But now my step-son will have a cat at mom’s and a sister at dad’s with the same name. My mom and husband are trying to down-play saying its not a big deal.

Not a big deal? I guess I’m blogging this to the Berries because only you all understand that naming is a big deal! My only other favorite name, [name]Gemma[/name], turns out to be a very famous porn star in the UK ([name]Gemma[/name] M-----) you can google her. [name]Do[/name] you guys remember that drama I had a few months ago?

I am now faced with picking the [name]Ginger[/name] the [name]Cat[/name] name. Or going with a name I half-way like and that is 3rd/4th down on my list. Names I like, just don’t “love”.

These include:
[name]Genevieve[/name] [name]Grace[/name]
[name]Georgia[/name] [name]Grace[/name]
[name]Gigi[/name] [name]Louise[/name] - what if i just named her [name]Gigi[/name]? We plan on calling her this anyway. [name]Louise[/name] is the only other family name I want to use. Does [name]Gigi[/name] have any kind of meaning? It comes up as a nickname online.

I’m very worried that I will end up like one of the posters that has name remorse any way I go about it. None of my family really understands. I have loved the name [name]Ginger[/name] since I was a little girl. Other names I love don’t start with G and we already call her [name]Gigi[/name].

The monogrammed towels have been ordered. Her nickname [name]Gigi[/name] is up on the wall. I’ve bought all the Origins [name]Ginger[/name] products for her bathroom. I’m trying not to really get upset. I’ve got 6 weeks to go and was finally settled with the naming.

Does anyone have advice.

Are you still there? I’m replying now, but just wanted you to know that I’m up! :slight_smile:

[name]Hi[/name] [name]Blue[/name]!

Are you serious? Well, at least she’s not a vindictive, spiteful woman, eh? I cannot believe she did that to you! Well, I can believe it, but…Wow.

[name]Just[/name] know that her decision to name her cat [name]Ginger[/name] reflects her character, not yours or the name you chose. From what you’ve written, it sounds like even your stepson is aware that his mom’s behavior is misguided and hurtful. (He sounds like such a sweet boy, by the way…)

[name]How[/name] do you feel about using the name [name]Ginger[/name] despite her new cat? It doesn’t sound like you’ll be seeing her or her cat a lot (if ever), so I can’t imagine that confusion will arise. [name]How[/name] does your stepson feel about you using [name]Ginger[/name] now?

I just can’t believe she would do that you and her son!

I do remember the porn star, but are you in the U.K.? If not, I can’t imagine people in other countries knowing who she is without Googling her, and by the time a little [name]Gemma[/name] is old enough to Google her name, there’s a good chance that the porn star’s silicone “friends” will have melted and she’ll be out of the business, selling used cars, fried chicken, or something else instead.

You need to do what’s right for you, but I hope you choose the name you love (which is clearly [name]Ginger[/name]), and refuse to let her poison enter your life. If you were seeing her cat every day, that would be one thing, but it sounds like you’ll never see the cat (and your daughter never will, either), and I think it would be a shame for you to give up the name you love because the woman is trying to provoke you. (Plus, her cat may not even be around for long…)

Like you said, your stepson will live with human and feline Gingers, though, and you could always talk with him, asking him how he’d feel about having a cat and a sister named [name]Ginger[/name]. If he doesn’t mind and you and your husband don’t mind, it sounds like [name]Ginger[/name] is still a wonderful and viable option for you.

Whether you stick with [name]Ginger[/name] or go with [name]Gemma[/name], I hope you do what feels right for you, and what makes you feel happy and content.

((((HUGS))))) ((((((MORE HUGS)))))) (((((((A FEW MORE HUGS)))))

Everything will be okay, [name]Blue[/name]…

Well this is a tough choice.

Honestly though, my advice would be to just pick whatever name you and your husband love best. [name]Don[/name]'t let anyone intimidate you against that choice. [name]Even[/name] if your stepson does have two [name]Ginger[/name]'s in his life, I’m sure his step-sister will be more important then some cat.

All of your other options are very pretty names too. I also like [name]Geneva[/name]. [name]Just[/name] thought I’d throw that out there. :wink:

There is one other option too though; you coud always ‘accidentaly’ run over the little name stealing cat. jk, jk. :smiley:

What a B***H! I feel so terrible that you have to deal with such an obviously mean woman for the rest of your life! I’m going to try to be rational, but I want you to know that I would be just as upset as you are (I AM upset, and it’s not even happening to me!)

  1. Your step-son is on your side. I wouldn’t doubt it if he refused to call the cat [name]Ginger[/name]. It is such a shame she is doing this, since her own son is the one it will have the most effect on.
  2. You daughter will be called [name]Gigi[/name] most of the time. This will cut back on the confusion for your step-son.
  3. Your daughter will probably never meet this cat! She isn’t someone you interact with, so it’s not like “[name]Ginger[/name] the cat” will be a fixture in your daughter’s life.
  4. [name]Ginger[/name] is YOUR favorite name. You should not let this witchy woman have any more affect on your life than necessary. [name]Don[/name]'t let her win. Naming your child is sacred, it is absolutely insane of her to try to ruin that for you. I must agree with your hubby and family, changing the name now is letting her win. She does not deserve that. If you stick to your guns it will show that you are stronger than she thinks you are.
  5. Any other name would be settling. You don’t want to settle! Especially when you have a name you love so much! Not everyone loves their child’s name as much as you do, you are lucky, don’t give that up!
  6. This is less important, but you already have stuff monogrammed! [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] IS her name. She may not be born yet, but she does already have a name.

Since you would be settling for all the other names, I truly hope you don’t go with any of them. I do love the name [name]Genevieve[/name], but it’s just not right for you. [name]Gigi[/name] [name]Louise[/name] is very sweet, but then you don’t have your [name]Ginger[/name]. I forget how you feel about [name]Virginia[/name]… that would still give you [name]Ginger[/name] and [name]Gigi[/name], without exactly using [name]Ginger[/name]… I assume you don’t like that option, though.

[name]Imagine[/name] if your mother had a name she absolutely adored, and then some terrible woman named her cat that. The cat is dead now, and you never met it anyway. Would you hope your mom changed your name to something she just liked? Or would you prefer to feel proud and honored that your mother was strong enough to overcome this challenge and give you the name she truly loved?

Sending you lots of hugs.

I think you just have to keep on course the way you have been and don’t let this mean spirited lady wreck your well laid plans.

ps I just thought of this-

I think that this little exercise has just backfired on stepson’s mean mother because now when the stepson cuddles the new kitty she represents someone very dear to his heart. ([name]Baby[/name] [name]Ginger[/name])

If he needs comforting he will think of baby [name]Ginger[/name] and you guys when he is cuddling kitty, and it will help him to survive in a negative environment. I bet he needs that kitty for comfort if his mother has a mean streak.

[name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] it is, and she has the most adorable bedroom.

I will have to agree with the rest of the girls!
NO POINT in going for a name you like rather than the one you feel in love with…
[name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] nn [name]Gigi[/name] is adorable!
[name]Gigi[/name] is a name in its own right so you could call her [name]Gigi[/name] anyway but [name]Grace[/name] is more elegant than louise?!
However, this mean woman needs a strong message that nothing she does will affect you…besides the only person who will have contact with both baby n kitty will be step son who will know baby as [name]Gigi[/name] so i wouldnt change a thing imo!

All the best!

Stick to the name.
She named the cat [name]Ginger[/name] knowing it would take your favourite name from you but I say just ignore her. After all, your daughter will mostly go by [name]Gigi[/name] anyway so it won’t be too confusing. I feel sorry for your poor step-son caught in the middle though.

And if you stick with the name then she’ll be constantly reminded of her ex-husbands new wife and family everytime she calls or looks at the cat. In the long run she’s hurting herself more than you.

Maliciousness will get you no-where; just take heart from the fact that you are in the right, and she is obviously a nasty, spiteful woman.

[name]Ginger[/name] is a beautiful name, and, as you will be calling her [name]Gigi[/name] the majority of the time, and you only have email communication with the ex-wife (her half-brother can know her as [name]Gigi[/name] so that it isn’t confusing for him to have a cat and a sister with the same name), I would say that you can stick to it. It is best just to ignore people who try to manipulate you, anyhow.

I have only vague memories of most of our childhood pets, but I still see my siblings almost every week - 20 years down the line, your stepson most probably will not still have a cat called [name]Ginger[/name] (just a fact, I am not wishing death to the little kitty, who I feel so sorry for, having a malicious owner like that), but he will still know his lovely little sister, [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name]. The cat will be unimportant.

Of your other options, I adore [name]Genevieve[/name] - [name]Genevieve[/name] [name]Grace[/name] sounds lovely. I also think you probably could just go with [name]Gigi[/name], and maybe use [name]Ginger[/name] as a sweet family nickname - [name]Gigi[/name] is very feminine and cute, but it is also chic and elegant, and so I think it could stand on its own - [name]Gigi[/name] [name]Louise[/name] sounds lovely. I don’t think that this is the best option, but it is an option.

[name]Do[/name] you like [name]Giselle[/name]? [name]Giselle[/name] [name]Grace[/name] nn [name]Gigi[/name] is sweet :slight_smile:

Good luck!

Wow! What a group of dynamic women we have her on NB! I was up all night, hence the late night post, so worried and upset about this.

I’m sure I crossed the line from naming advice into personal counseling advice. But you wonderful ladies delivered!

I am smiling and laughing. Especially at the kill-the-cat post!

Another note: The ex-wife met a married guy online, moved 300 miles away to shack up with him, step-son was ordered to move down there with them, and now we are FIGHTING to have him moved back home. So needless to say we will never meet [name]Ginger[/name] the cat and hopefully once we [name]WIN[/name] my step-son will rarely see the cat.

I can’t thank you enough for your enthusiasm. I feel re-charged!

Everyone have a great weekend! I cannot wait to read these posts aloud to husband. He acts like its silly stuff, but I know he secretly enjoys…


Yea! I’m glad you’re feeling better about [name]Ginger[/name] now. :slight_smile: Woo-hoo!!!

(And when the cat finds out what its owner did, kitty is going spend its free time giving her the finger and dreaming up ways to escape.)

I hope that everything works out with the custody issue…

Have a great weekend! :slight_smile:

So glad you feel better, as usual huge thanks to the brilliant Berries (love that), and just want to add an official seal of agreement with everything everyone said. If you change your name to [name]Genevieve[/name] or [name]Gemma[/name], the vindictive woman will just get a lizard and give it that name! Her aim is to hurt you and obviously she’s ruthless, so you need to rise above – not easy, I’m sure, but am really happy we could help and looking so forward to news of your beautiful [name]Gigi[/name]'s arrival (at which time I’m sure that cat’s existence will be totally forgotten).

Wow, I cannot believe what she did! That is just awful! I think that like some of the other posters said, you should just go with what feels right. If you know that [name]Ginger[/name] is “the name”, then you should just go ahead with it! Also, if you end up naming her [name]Gemma[/name], you might end up not being able to get the…unpleasent association out of your head, and that is not what you want with your beautiful baby girl. I think [name]Ginger[/name] is a beautiful name, and if she was to go by [name]Gigi[/name] all of the time, then it doesnt really matter. Show the step mother that you can be the bigger person (excuse my cheesy phrase) and that you will name your daughter whatever you darn well please! Well, I wish you wonderful luck, and so sorry you had to go through this awful experience. Good luck!
Bounceparty :slight_smile:

[name]Hi[/name] Bluebonnet,
I’m so sorry that this woman did this to you and your family. [name]How[/name] mean can you get!
I’m with all the other Berries - go with the name you love, which is obviously [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name]. It is adorable and it is your daughter’s name. Also, as she will be mostly known as [name]Gigi[/name], it is less of a problem. Good luck with your custody battle and everything too :slight_smile:

[name]Ah[/name], BlueBonnet!

Sorry for my delayed response - I was taking a NB break because my mom is in town! Are you kidding me with this? I cannot believe some of the stories I hear on NB sometimes, but this tops the cake. The ex-wife? Who knew you loved [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name]? I am SO sorry!

So, what are you going to do? You have to keep [name]Gigi[/name] as her nickname for sure - you love it, you have all the personalized gear, and it is so adorable! I know [name]Baby[/name] [name]Gigi[/name] will love it, too. That being said, I wouldn’t name her [name]Gigi[/name] on its own - she needs a “formal” name in my opinion…

She’ll never see the ex-wife, right? I assume not, since you have mainly email contact with her. It sounds like the main link is your step-son (a sweetie, it seems!), and I’m sorry this is stressing him, too. So, is the fact that there is a cat named [name]Ginger[/name] what is holding you back? I scanned through your initial post rather haphazardly - sorry, things are busy here today! - so I wasn’t totally clear. If that is all that is worrying you, I’d stick with [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] - you love it, and it is adorable! [name]Ginger[/name] doesn’t have to be a cat name, and I doubt you will associate it with your husband’s ex-wife’s cat - she’ll be your daughter! And, after all, children last longer than pets…

If you need another name, what about [name]Gisela[/name] [name]Grace[/name]? It is spunky and sassy, like [name]Gigi[/name].

Hang in there - good luck and let me know what happens!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

I have deranged in-laws so I can completely sympathize with you. I think the other women here have made excellent points. I just would like to add that I think the very best thing you can do is to rise above the nastiness of this woman and stay with the name you love. When dealing with my insane in-laws, I repeat to myself over and over “Everything you do makes me look better.” And it’s true. People like that, the more energy you give them, the stronger they are. Ignoring them makes them wither away into nothing. I know that’s so much easier said than done, especially when they scheme and plot highly creative ways to get to you. You can only control your reaction, and the power you give them. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she changed the cat’s name down the line, chagrined. Good luck!

[name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] nn [name]Gigi[/name] is so adorable. I think your stepson will admire you for naming his sister [name]Ginger[/name] in spite of the new cat! I just love cats, but to me, it seems like it would be a bigger deal if your stepson’s mom had gotten a dog and named it [name]Ginger[/name]. Cats mostly just lie around on the bed or under the bed. Cats’ owners don’t tend to say cats’ names as much as dogs’ owners say dogs’ names. As [name]Ginger[/name] gets older and turns into a feline cushion on the bed, her name will recede into the sunset. I mostly call my kitty “[name]Baby[/name] [name]Kitty[/name]” and “My own little baby” even though his name is Mokie. I have lots of nicknames for him. Whereas when we had a dog, we talked to her constantly and always called her [name]Roxy[/name].

Thanks again girls. I am aware that [name]Ginger[/name] is a popular name for 4 legged friends: cats, dogs, horses, etc…This was prob one of the drawbacks i had on my list for this name. So i was prepared to deal with that “oh I had a dog named ginger” and so on.

But never thought of this!!!

Anyway, thanks again and I will keep you posted. Due date is around [name]Easter[/name].

Hey again, BlueBonnet…

So, I was doing some [name]Gigi[/name] research and reminded myself that it is a French diminutive. So, some G girl names of French origin include:


I don’t know if any of those are making you want to leave [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] behind, but if not, then I still think [name]Ginger[/name] [name]Grace[/name] is the name for you. [name]Gigi[/name] is also a nickname for [name]Virginia[/name]…

Take care!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

If [name]Ginger[/name] is the name you love, don’t let her stop you. I personally like [name]Gemma[/name] and [name]Georgia[/name] much better. You could use [name]Ginger[/name] as a nickname for [name]Georgia[/name] and that would make the towels still fitting and would avoid conflict with the [name]Ginger[/name] cat owner. As for [name]Gemma[/name] I love the name and no one will remember that porn star in ten years. [name]Jenna[/name] is still a decent name despite the porn channel actually called “[name]Jenna[/name]”. I think [name]Gemma[/name] is pretty enough to rise above that. You could also name her [name]Grace[/name] [name]Ginger[/name] and call her [name]Ginger[/name]. Good luck!