I’m from a large family (more than 4 children, but for privacy I won’t say exactly) all born in the same decade. I always had buddies to play with as a child so this was good, but as an introvert, it had the unexpected effect of filling up my social quota each day and leaving me with little incentive to make friends outside my family. I’m very close with my siblings and never squabble with them, which is something I’m grateful for. But at 22, my siblings are my best friends and I rarely catch up with outside peers (something I reckon I need to change).
The worst part was the lack of money, and the stress that caused. There was not enough money for us to be able to do extra-curricular things or travel, even domestically, and I felt I missed out on lots of valuable learning experiences because my parents could not afford to pay for all of us to do it. I also remember my mother being very stressed all the time.
As for me, I have always dreamed of being a mother - but I would have max 3 children. Probably 2, realistically, because it’s so important to me that any children I do have get the full experience of everything I can provide for them. I want to be able to send my kids to music lessons and language class etc when they’re young, and take them on road trips, rather than have a big family. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though I really love children.
If I was incredibly rich and didn’t work, I might consider having more than 3 children, but that’s not likely because I also have plans for my own career. I want to be able to work on my own stuff as well, while still providing enough emotional and practical support so my kids don’t grow up feeling neglected. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents rarely had the energy to sit down with me and emotionally validate me so I haven’t learned very healthy coping mechanisms. There were also discrepancies in who got attention because of the birth order.
I can’t say what it would have been like in a perfectly healthy big family, but I can imagine these practical strains would have still been there.
TL;DR - I grew up in a big family. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t want one for myself. I see a child as a huge freaking responsibility and all my resources should go to their development. I don’t want any more children than I can provide full, adequate resources for to give them the best shot at their future - otherwise what’s the point of having them? I can’t imagine a future where I can (or want to) properly provide for more than 3 children. [name_f]My[/name_f] kids will deserve everything I’ve got. After all, it’s my fault they’ll even exist