I either hadn’t read or hadn’t processed the IC diagnosis when I posted - I didn’t know anything about it and googled it now - wow. Good to be familiar with what’s apparently a pretty widespread condition! Best wishes to you in managing that. I would miss wine too! I guess one advantage is that if you do become pregnant you will already be adapted to not having it. I too am glad you’ve found helpful people’s accounts here, and I really like your blog : D!
I was terrified when i first got pregnant, but when i felt him move for the first time, something changed in me. I didn’t care about the bad stuff anymore, it felt good to await the day my little boy would be here.
Jesba - thanks! I didn’t see your last comment until now, sorry.
lovemommyhood11 - thanks!
No problem cristinamariane : D!
[name]Hi[/name] chistinamariane,
I just wanted to say that all of the things you worry about, I worry about too. I finally opened up to one of my friends, and what do you know? She had the same concerns, especially about the needles (I hate having needles, period) and about tearing during natural birth. I was talking to another woman I know, and she thinks that the reason why I worry so much about it is because my mum had so much trouble with her pregnancies, and all I’ve heard from a young age are the terrifying stories of what could goes wrong. That said, the more I think about having kids and the more my clock starts tocking, the more I think that I’ll just have to endure it if I want to have a baby of my own. Although, to be quite honest, when I actually focus on the thought of giving birth, my head starts to spin and I’m all of a sudden more drawn to adoption as an option. Also, just remember that no 2 people are the same; one person’s experience is different from the next and the same goes for pregnancy (says I, childless and 25 who has no idea!). I try to remind myself that I am not my mum, and though she had problems, I may not - like my grandmother (mum’s mum), who had 5 babies between 1947 and 1957. And there weren’t any drugs apparently! So yeah, I guess my point is that you’re experience could be completely different to what you are expecting, but you’ll never know until you’re pregnant. And if you never get there, that’s OK too - to each their own! Goodluck in any case.
I didn’t read all the responses, but as a first time mom I had fears about birth as well. For me, educating myself on the natural course of childbirth and seeking out the positive stories was very helpful. There are many ways you can work with your body during labor to minimize the complications. I also hired a doula and both my husband and I were so glad to have her.
Also, pregnancy and childbirth can bring up all kinds of emotional issues from one’s past. I would consider talking this over with a therapist as well since you seem to have a strong physical reaction to the whole notion. Your anxiety is not going to just go away and I would guess could be more intense with the added hormones of pregnancy.
It seems like people just love to tell the horror stories about labor and delivery. I have had two great, unmedicated births to two big, healthy boys. It’s work, believe me, but it not always some sort of traumatic event. Your body does heal and most people go on to do it again. 
Hello! I think, the most common pregnancy symptoms are described here http://saymommy.com/pregnancy-symptoms/
While it is understandable to worry about the most extreme aspects of pregnancy and birth and by no means makes you “crazy”, it also doesn’t need to be this way. Worrying won’t protect you, it just makes things harder.
As a person who has suffered anxiety, the most important thing to learn for my recovery was that you can feel less crippled by these fears and still do research and make good choices to minimise your risks. It’s not a mind trick where confident or unafraid equals being blasé or foolishly ignorant.
However scary the idea of tearing is (and nobody wants to tear), you can get help to become less afraid. If fears are affecting how you live your life, however genuinely unsettling the topic is, you can get help to feel less fearful. I had hypnotherapy for my anxiety and it is now a thing of the past - I wonder if it could also help you? Getting help with difficulties is not only for people who are “crazy” - if your thoughts are making your life harder than it needs to be - and I think yours are - it is a sign of strength to seek assistance from an expert.
I’m now five months pregnant and feel confident about what is ahead. It might be easy, it might be very hard, but I will get through it. That’s the benefit of remembering that “women have been doing this for thousands of years” blah blah - they too had fears and challenges and got through them, and so will you if you decide to have children.
Also, adoption is not in any way easy, quick or cheap. It’s not a guaranteed alternative, and there are more adoptive parents than children available in most categories. When people assume you can “just adopt” they are often not aware of the realities. It is another route to parenthood, but by no means an easy option as is sometimes implied by casual commenters.
You don’t have to be afraid any more - you can get help to instead just be aware of risks, and still protect yourself just as well or better.
Good luck with your decisions from here.
Before I got pregnant I was very squeamish about the whole ordeal too. And I also have an irrational fear of needles, (like once my Dr. prescribed a sedative so he could give me a TB test without me crying and freaking out).
You do have to give a lot of blood for various tests. But its different when you are doing it for your own child. I love this baby so much I would willing get pricked with a needle everyday if it was best for her. Its hard to describe to someone not in that situation.
I don’t know much about the tearing/cutting since I’m only 7 months, but I plan on getting an epidural so if it happens at least I wont feel it until later. Don’t forget that babies have soft skulls so that they can fit through the birth canal. I’ve never heard of anyone tearing all the way through their butt. And the medical staff has seen just about everything (lots of women give birth there everyday), and they are trained and prepared to deal with worse case situations. Plus they will tell you how to care for any healing at home.
[name]Every[/name] woman and every pregnancy is different. There is no way for you to know 100% how your body will react before hand. I haven’t had any morning sickness, but I have had heartburn. (I’m not a DR. but I’m almost certain cancer is not directly related to or solely dependent on whether or not you give birth, there is probably a lot more factors ie: family history, environmental exposures, diet, stds, etc. that come into play there.)
[name]Even[/name] if you do experience all the horrible stuff that could happen, remember pregnancy and childbirth are a finite process. It will end. Then you’ll be able to spend the rest of your time with that amazing little person. Its worth it.
I am terrified of having a baby myself, so I know how you feel somewhat. I am more afraid of the pain than what could happen. I throw up just from the painful cramps I get on my period if I don’t make it to the pain killers in time. I will defiantly need the shot when I have a baby, but even with the shot, I am afraid it will still hurt a lot. I have very low pain tolerance.
That’s why I was looking more into adoption, but my husband to me really wants one, so I agreed. I would assume you have, but if you haven’t, talk to your husband about your fears. They can be really supportive and understanding. Mine helped me get used to the idea because he said he would be there through it all. He also agreed to be my servant/maid, haha. Also you could think about adoption as well. That way you avoid the whole birthing process. If we decide to have another kid, I think we’ll adopt since I am sure I won’t want to give birth again…