Gender dysphoria?

[Indigoskies]

[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! This post is mainly directed at trans and enby parents and parents-to-be. [name_f]My[/name_f] partner and I have been talking more and more about children, and though it won’t be for a few more years, we do want kids in the future. I am genderfluid (I use he, she, and they pronouns) and my partner is a trans man. I would be the one to carry the baby if that’s the route we decide to go down, mainly because of my being “part woman” (and my partner’s lack of that) and health issues making it dangerous for my partner to do so. I am kind of concerned about gender dysphoria, though. I had really bad gender dysphoria when I was a teenager, and really only got better once I got people to use other pronouns for me, which I know will change if I’m pregnant. I’m just curious about other people’s experiences with this, thoughts on how to cope, et cetera.

Thank you for reading this long and confusing post! I appreciate your help .

Here is an small angry rant if you are interested, I just need to release these negative thoughts and emotions.

[name_u]Welcome[/name_u] to my small angry rant . I’ve talked to my family and some friends about us wanting to have kids and I’ve gotten SO MANY comments like “so you’re a girl now?” and people being just really bitter and outright mean about the “inconvenience” of me asking them to use my multi-pronoun set (and not solely my sex-associated ones) when I am acting or doing such female things and how I need to just pick a gender and stick with it and stop being so attention craving when in reality I don’t want ANY attention, I just want people to accept my gender without THEM being the ones to make it such a huge deal. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents have actually been quite lovely and accepting of my being trans, as well as my partner, but my extended family is pretty transphobic and have said some really nasty things about my partner, to my face, so I can’t ever imagine what they’re saying about us behind our backs. On top of all that!! I tried explaining all this to one of my friends, looking for support and she basically told me to suck it up and stop being so selfish when I’m not the only one with problems (I left). I am fully aware that I’m not the only one with problems, but I am trans, gay, [name_m]Black[/name_m] and Latinx, and have bad anxiety and depression. I have faced more than my fair share of problems. I am just so sick of people not meeting the most basic levels of human decency. Phew. Sorry for the not-so-short angry rant!

[Elle1]

I hope this is ok, unfortunately, I don’t have advice, but still wanted to comment with the only children’s book about families, featuring a pregnant trans parent (that I have found). The page featuring them is on the last picture of the preview - Amazon Link … For your future family

I’m so sorry for the struggles with your extended family

[Indigoskies]

Thank you! I appreciate it .

[Archer27]

Sorry that you are having a hard time with your circle being unsupportive. It’s a super tricky line to walk, and of course not everyone is going to “get” it right away, but I would suggest not allowing people to be in your life if they can’t treat you with basic respect. That goes for extended family and especially your friends - it doesn’t sound like they are particularly good friends anyway if they are being so harsh towards you.

As for trans parenting - there was a similar thread a while back that might or might not be helpful in your situation:

trans/non-binary parents

[Indigoskies]

Thank you!!

[SoJoCo]

No advice to offer here except to think hard about whether you want those toxic people in your child’s life, and don’t be afraid to cut them out. If they say horrible things about your partner in front of you they probably won’t think twice about saying it in front of your kid either or may even treat your kid differently to other child relatives.

Other than that, best of luck with your parenting journey whichever route you decide to take!

[Indigoskies]

Thank you