Like the others that have posted, I don’t think it’s unusual to have a gender preference. We didn’t find out the gender of either of our babies (both girls), and when I was pregnant with my first, I was really leaning towards wanting a girl. I am the older sister in my family, so I always imagined having a girl first, and then having a boy, or boys (I have younger twin brothers). But during that first pregnancy, I kept having baby boy dream. I didn’t have a single girl dream, so I thought the “universe” was trying to prepare me for having a baby boy!
With my 2nd pregnancy, I was sure I was having a boy! I was totally ok with having 2 little girls, but I was just so sure it was a boy. My pregnancy felt different…less heartburn, more hip pain, etc, etc! I was certain! But then I had my 2nd baby girl. I was so surprised when she was born and my hubby told me it was a girl (silly, I know, since it was always a 50/50 chance). And, to be honest, I was also surprised to find myself a little disappointed. We’ve had our boy name chosen since we were pregnant with [name]Willow[/name]. I love the name and feel ‘attached’ to it already…like we know his name, we’re just waiting for him to get here. I think that I just didn’t realize how badly I wanted a baby boy. [name]Veda[/name] is 3 months now, and I occasionally wonder what it would have been like to have a little boy, but it’s a joy to have her in my life! She’s just starting to figure out how to laugh, and she scrunches up her nose when she smiles!
I’ve decided that if my hubby and I have baby number 3 (still undecided), that I want to find out the gender. I think if I did know at 20 wks what I was having, it would allow me to either be really excited about a boy, or time to get really excited about having another girl. I don’t think that you said, but have you considered finding out the gender? If the baby is a girl, it might help to know that, so you and your partner can start to bond with her now. You’ll be able to do a little shopping, and start to think about her name…
[name]Don[/name]'t be too hard on yourself for how you feel! We are all human, and have preferences for everything, why would it be so much different when it comes to our beloved babies?