HELP! :( Baby name remorse!

I have been home with my little girl 3 months and can’t get used to the sound of her name. I feel SO sad I just can’t seem to fall in love with her name the way I am completely in love with my precious daughter. I love older, classic names, but wanted to name my daughter a “J” name in honor of my grandmother ([name]Janet[/name]). A friend had just named their daughter [name]Julia[/name], so out of what was left in the J pool we chose [name]Jillian[/name] which is a completely different style for the kind of names I usually like. I am afraid this name may sound dated, and people seem to mispronounce it. I’m just not sure, I thought I liked it! 3 months too late to change a name?!?! I really want her to have a name that sounds strong and classey, and most importantly a name she will grow up to love (or at least like!). What do you think of when you hear the name [name]Jillian[/name]?

I like the name [name]Jillian[/name]. I have a younger cousin named [name]Jillian[/name] (she’s 14), and most of the family calls her [name]Jilly[/name]. I think if you really don’t like the name, now is the time to change it before she knows it as her name, and before it can really set in with family members.

Oh, that is tough that you are having baby name remorse. This has happened before on Nameberry. Most of the posters think it’s fine to change a baby’s name even after three months. But we think it’s better to change a name sooner rather than later.
I changed my name many years ago, and I did it free of charge. There is a book called “[name]How[/name] to Change Your Name”. You don’t have to use a lawyer.
I nearly named my daughter [name]Jillian[/name], but that was almost eighteen years ago. [name]Jillian[/name] is kind of dated now.
Other “J” names:
[name]Jacqueline[/name] nn [name]Jackie[/name]
[name]Jane[/name] - very cool
[name]Jemima[/name] - but you have to be extremely cool to pull this off
[name]Josephine[/name] nn [name]Josie[/name]

[name]How[/name] about a name with a soft “g” sound at the beginning?
[name]Gemma[/name] - [name]Gemma[/name] is so cool.
[name]Georgia[/name] - so is [name]Georgia[/name]

do you think that spelling it with a g, [name]Gillian[/name], would make it a little more classic or less dated, or just make people mispronounce it more? would kind if defeat the purpose of the “naming after” initials thing, but most importantly now i just don’t want my little girl to have a nice name. just changing one letter would save me a little ridicule perhaps for changing it.

[name]Juliet[/name] is a wonderful name too!

I have heard of some other people that have had remorse in the first 3 months but then the name grows on them. I would make sure that you are not just being emotional. Sometimes it can be a lot to bring a new baby home and get used to your new life. If you are sure you don’t like the name, then by all means change it now. My J votes would be [name]Juliet[/name], [name]June[/name], [name]Juliana[/name], or [name]Josephine[/name].

FYI. I grew up with a [name]Jillian[/name] and have good associations with the name. It may not be one of the “cool” names right now but I personally think it is a strong, classic sounding name.

[name]Hi[/name] there. :slight_smile: I’m so sorry you don’t like the name you chose, but on the bright side, you figured it out now, as opposed to later. I know a woman who changed her infant’s name at the 10 month point or so, and everything worked out just fine. And I know it’s hard, but try not to worry about being teased by friends, as you mentioned. Naming a baby is important business, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it right.

I know of a few Gillians, and while one does pronounce her name with a soft G, the other uses a hard G sound, like the name [name]Gill[/name]. And then there’s [name]Gillian[/name] [name]Anderson[/name], and most people know how to pronounce her name. That said, pronunciation issues may arise, so if this bothers you, [name]Gillian[/name] with a G might not be the best solution for you. I do think [name]Gillian[/name] with a G looks less modern, and I think it’s really pretty.

Did any of [name]Susan[/name]'s suggestions appeal to you? Have you thought about using [name]Jillian[/name] (or even [name]Jill[/name]) in the middle, as opposed to up front? Are you interested in first names that don’t begin with J?

[name]Don[/name]'t worry! Everything will work out! :slight_smile:

is [name]Jillian[/name] [name]WAY[/name] uncool? does it sound cheap or trashy? i don’t mind not having a super trendy name, just don’t want it to seem horribly outdated or not classey. as far as being dated, just fearful it may sound to her like i may think of a name like [name]Judy[/name] or [name]Joan[/name]…a name i’d expect someone my mother’s age to have rather than a peer. i know Jills that i have a positive associations with, but they are my age.

thanks for your support…and from a jill. makes me like jillian a little more :slight_smile:
i just always pictured a little girl with a more old fashioned name like a [name]Claire[/name] or [name]Charlotte[/name], but my husband is Jewish and we decided to honor tradition in naming with a relatives initials. i never really thought of j names in the past. it just makes it feel weird that her name is such a different style, almost like she’s not my kid when i hear it out loud.

I would suggest thinking it over for at least a week or so before you do the paperwork, no sense possibly walking into another name you want to change again. I think [name]Jillian[/name] is a pretty name, and though it’s not commonly used much these days, I don’t think that alone is enough to feel uncomfortable about it.

That said, aside from other J names to honor J. for [name]Janet[/name], consider alternate forms of [name]Jane[/name]. Some are quite interesting or cute, some may be dated or strangely inventive, however.[name]Janes[/name]-International-Variations[name]JANE[/name]

When you really like a name, try it in conversation with your daughter, so when you feel good about it, you will know and then do the paperwork if you decide not to keep [name]Jillian[/name]. I also like [name]Gillian[/name] with a G, however, did know someone who pronounced it with the hard g. I think it’s a very pretty name that doesn’t really have anything going against it, but if you feel as though you’ve settled and compromised, it’s not too late to change your daughter’s name to something else that you feel positive or more appropriate.

[name]Do[/name] you like the G spelling more than J?

I don’t think [name]Jillian[/name] is “way uncool” or “trashy” at all, but if you were planning on a little [name]Charlotte[/name] or [name]Louisa[/name] (or any classic/vintage name), I completely understand the “style shock” you’re experiencing. For what it’s worth, I far prefer [name]Jillian[/name] to [name]Jill[/name], but on the bright side, I’ve enjoyed being called “[name]Jillie[/name],” “Jillybean,” and a bunch of other fun nicknames that do apply to [name]Jillian[/name], too. I’ve always viewed [name]Jillian[/name] as the modern version of my name.

I’m sure this has already been suggested, but have you considered [name]Julia[/name]? [name]Jill[/name] is the diminutive of [name]Julia[/name], so I think it would make sense, and you’d get the classic name.

The bottom line, is that you’re not happy with the name, and that’s what’s important. If you could name you little girl anything, what name is in your heart? What name would be thrilled to call her and to have her grow up with?

(And once again, don’t worry, because everything will work out, and you’ll be able to look back on this someday and smile.) :slight_smile:

[name]Jillian[/name] doesn’t sound “trashy” at all. I think it’s a fine name that could still sound familiar even when it’s used less because of the increase in Lillians and Julians, etc. If you’re uncomfortable with it personally, though, that’s valid and it’s not too late to change it. Good luck!

I [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Jillian[/name]! It is actually a name that has been on my list for a little while because [name]Jill[/name] is a sweet but strong name in my eyes and [name]Jilly[/name] is just too cute for a little peanut!

Have you tried calling her [name]Jill[/name] or [name]Jilly[/name] consistently for several days? You may feel that her full name doesn’t yet suit her (its hard for a sweet baby to hold up to a more grown up name at first!) But [name]Jill[/name] or [name]Jilly[/name] might fit her very well!

Let us know how its going!

I don’t think [name]Jillian[/name] is trashy at all.

What’s her middle name, could you use that instead?

I personally love the name [name]Jillian[/name]. I think its adorable and feminine on a little girl, yet still appropriate and professional on an adult. Its easy to pronounce, easy to spell. And lovely that it has a family connection.

As suggested earlier - please don’t just change the first letter to G. Having a dear friend named [name]Gillian[/name], she loves the name, hates the spelling. It almost always is spelled incorrectly, she feels its more masculine and many people pronounce a hard G (like Gilligan).

What is [name]Jillian[/name]'s middle name? Perhaps you just haven’t thought of the right nickname for her yet!

First, I think [name]Jillian[/name] is a perfectly fine name. Though not particularly trendy right now, it does not sound dated either. And anyone who does not name their baby [name]Ella[/name], [name]Lily[/name], or [name]Lucy[/name] these days gets an A for effort in my book.

I can relate to your dilemna though based on my own experience. We named our daughter [name]Laura[/name] because it was one of the few names my husband and I could agree on. But, on my list of favorities, there were probably 20-25 names I would have rather used, but each were ruled out for one reason or another (most common being my husband did not like).

Like [name]Jillian[/name], [name]Laura[/name] is not particularly stylish right now, and I do sometimes worry that she will hate her name as being uncool. But i don’t really consider changing it because I do like it, and to this day I have yet to think of a name that my husband liked that would have been better.

One other thing - your baby is still so young, and will grow into her name. Many many people have a hard time calling their baby by a real name – it seems so artificial at fist. We still refer to ours as “the baby” just as often as we call her [name]Laura[/name].

For instance, my friend used a name that she loved ([name]Margot[/name]) and that it pretty stylish, but she still does not use that name for her baby at 1 year old (they call her Cookie).

All that being said, if you think you will continue to dislike the name, AND there is a specific one you wish you had used instead, it is not too late to change it. Using her middle name as first is also always an option.

Good luck!

You asked me:

In theory, I might prefer the G spelling but I can see the hazards of mispronunciation, and like someone said, calling her Gilligan. The J spelling is also fine, I don’t have a problem with it. I think if you don’t like the name enough, changing the initial isn’t going to change that. I do sort of like things to be “more formal” than less, but the J spelling is totally acceptable.

Other J names:
[name]Jacinta[/name] -Spanish for [name]Hyacinth[/name]
[name]Jasmine[/name] or [name]Jessamine[/name]
[name]Julia[/name] or any form of it - [name]Juliet[/name], [name]Juliette[/name], [name]Juliana[/name] <-I like [name]Julia[/name] and [name]Juliana[/name] best

I have a 5yr old neice named [name]Jillian[/name]. She just happens to be one of the prettiest and most delightful little girls you will ever meet! She goes by [name]Jilly[/name] which I think is a cute and cheery name very fitting for a litte girl. We also call her Jillybean. I really like the name [name]Jillian[/name]. I don’t think it’s trashy or dated at all, in fact, I think it’s classy, sophisticated, and timeless. The other “J” names suggested here are really nice too. But whatever you decide, just don’t call her [name]Jennifer[/name] :wink:
(Yeah, that’s my name…)

(Brief random comment: [name]Sarah[/name], I love the name [name]Laura[/name], and think it’s a stylish, timeless classic!) :slight_smile:

[name]Jillian[/name] is a beautiful name. It is actually fairly popular overtime. I grew up with a friend who was a [name]Jillian[/name] and went by [name]Jill[/name]. Once in college I met another [name]Jill[/name] (not formally a [name]Jillian[/name]) and I think they both have fabulous personalities and the name is strong and classic.

As everyone else has said, make sure you really want to change it before you take any drastic measures. But if you’re worried about the name being “dated and trashy”, I wouldn’t worry about that at all. Sometimes it’s n ice not having the most popular or typical name. ([name]Claire[/name] and others you mentioned are also beautiful, but I understand your wanting to name her after family).

I am 26 and a [name]Patricia[/name], named after my grandmother… growing up I thought my name was so old sounding, and always went/go by [name]Tricia[/name] because of it. But as I got into high school and especially now, I actually really love and embrace my name as one that not many people have (at my age). It was nice growing up with a name no one else had, and also knowing that there was a reason behind my name too.

I’m sure if you keep your daughters name as [name]Jillian[/name], she will one day feel the same way about her name. Try calling her by a nickname to see if it suits her better… many friends and family have NEVER called me by my full name - I have a ton of nicknames and I love them all!