Holiday Babies/Parents of Holiday Babies--Weigh In, Please

Parentberries
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Caveat: DH and I will be thankful whatever/whenever/if ever we conceive.

That being said, I have tried my best to avoid having a baby close to major holidays (mainly Thanksgiving and Christmas) but we’re entering the window now where, if we want to have a baby this year, that’s almost unavoidable.

So, basically, I’m looking for some experience answers:

  1. Is it difficult being a holiday baby/parent to a holiday baby?
  2. Is it as difficult as I imagine it being for a child?
  3. What do you consider “close” to the holidays?
  4. Has this impacted your/your child’s life at all? [name_u]Or[/name_u] its birthday expectations?

And anything else you want to add. Maybe my anxiety-prone personality is just getting the best of me.

Thanks to all who give their input :slight_smile:

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Not a parent of holiday children nor am I a holiday child, but my best friend’s family of 5 (parents and 3 kids) had all of their birthdays concentrated towards the end of [name_u]November[/name_u] to end of [name_u]December[/name_u]. We are Canadian so we don’t have Thanksgiving in that time frame, but it really threw [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] for a loop to have so many gift-giving events close together.

From talks with her, I know she didn’t feel it was particularly difficult being one of the [name_u]November[/name_u] birthdays in comparison to a [name_u]December[/name_u] but her mom did assure that the birthday was celebrated separately from the holiday. If it meant postponing the celebration a few weeks or pushing it up earlier, so be it. I think her sister had a near [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] birthday, so it was usually celebrated in early [name_u]December[/name_u] and her mom’s [name_u]New[/name_u] Year birthday got pushed back into [name_u]January[/name_u]. Not the exact date, but as kids they got their acknowledgement and kids parties.

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I’m a Thanksgiving baby (not born on the day, but so close that my birthday is on Thanksgiving every so often.) It was/is not an issue. Growing up, birthdays were a big deal, and my parents made sure my birthday celebration was distinct from our Thanksgiving celebration. These days, we don’t really throw me a birthday party (my husband and kids give me gifts on the day) but we usually have Thanksgiving dinner with my family, and they usually give me gifts and sometimes a cake that day. It feels special.

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I echo @auroradawn completely!

Sometimes it becomes difficult socially as other people are always traveling and otherwise occupied during the holidays and as a kid that made birthday parties a bit harder to plan. I was sometimes jealous of my peers who had birthdays that were less complicated. However, as I’ve gotten older, the timeline of exactly how and when my birthday is celebrated doesn’t matter to me as much! [name_f]My[/name_f] family has always ensured that I felt celebrated even when my birthday fell around Thanksgiving.

OP, I think as long as you affirm to your child that you and your people/their community care about them, and find ways where they’ll feel celebrated separate from any wider holiday, you should be entirely good! The fact that you’re even wondering this shows you care a great deal :yellow_heart: I wouldn’t worry too much.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] daughter is [name_u]January[/name_u] 17. So – three weeks out from [name_u]Christmas[/name_u]. It’s not super close, but close enough that her birthday presents from relatives still tend to be wrapped in [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] paper. She turns 8 this year.

[name_f]My[/name_f] biggest thing is all the presents lumped together. When she was younger her interests changed so much in a year that I actually established a half-birthday tradition of getting her a few things mid-year. We haven’t done that specifically in a few years but I think I tend to say “yes” to getting things more than I would have if she had Christmas/birthday more spread out through the year.

Also, it’s been difficult timing invites for birthday parties. School ends here (Australia) early [name_u]December[/name_u] and starts late [name_u]January[/name_u]. So I’ve been giving out invites six weeks in advance and hoping everyone remembers to come. But I imagine summer birthdays in the US are similar.

Ultimately, it wasn’t enough to stop me from TTC when we did. She was due [name_u]January[/name_u] 2 so she easily could have been a [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] baby. I’m glad she’s a bit further out from [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] but either way, I don’t think we would have had too many inconveniences. She doesn’t mind her birthday being when it is.

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Our daughter was born on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_u]Day[/name_u], also the last day of Hanukkah that year. She’s only one year old, so I can’t say much yet about how it impacts her life. We also have twins born on [name_u]December[/name_u] 7. We’re not big on birthdays. We also do something special for our child that day and they get a few presents, but we don’t invite a big group of people over or anything.

The most difficult thing about it so far for us seems to be the fact that people are usually busy with other things that time of year. They don’t have much time, are visiting (other) family members etc. I also wonder if the twins, for example, realize what gifts are for their birthday and which ones are for [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] or Hanukkah. It’s just a ton of gifts in [name_u]December[/name_u].
For our daughter born on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] day we’re not sure how we’ll do it in the future. Because we celebrate more on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_f]Eve[/name_f] than we do on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_u]Day[/name_u], we were thinking of concentrating everything around [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_f]Eve[/name_f] and making [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_u]Day[/name_u] just her day. I don’t really have any family around and my husband’s family celebrates Hanukkah, so it should be doable. I don’t know, I guess time will tell.

Our youngest son was due [name_u]January[/name_u] 18 but arrived in [name_u]November[/name_u]. Part of me was relieved that we don’t have another [name_u]December[/name_u] birthday, although I wish he wasn’t born at 30 weeks + 5 days.
As far as due dates / possible birthdays go, that has never been a real consideration for us when TTC, mostly because, as I said, we don’t make much fuss around birthdays.

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Not a parent, but my brother & girlfriend both have birthdays in the first week of [name_u]January[/name_u] and they both really hate it, unfortunately. I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but I don’t imagine it would matter as much as a birthday around Christmastime, since Thanksgiving doesn’t have the same gift giving aspect that [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] and birthdays do, which is what people with Chrisrmastime birthdays are mostly bitter about (only being able to ask for gifts one month a year as children, getting less gifts overall, having their birthday be lost amongst all the grand holiday celebrations). So Thanksgiving shouldn’t be a problem!

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Thank you for this topic, I have been wondering about the same thing.
I always thought growing up that the best thing about my summer birthday is that it’s so far away from any major holidays. But also I don’t want to take possible birth dates into consideration when TTC – too much planning for something you ultimately can’t plan 100% anyway.
I have told myself that if we end up with a [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] baby and if they hate it (who knows, they might like sharing a birthday with Jesus), we can always resort to celebrating half birthdays instead.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] son is born within a few days of Valentine’s [name_u]Day[/name_u]. Probably not considered a major holiday, but still plays into people being busy with fancy date nights and throwing Valentine’s [name_u]Day[/name_u] parties and such. [name_m]Just[/name_m] another thing to consider, that I feel like there’s holidays almost in every month. [name_f]Easter[/name_f], [name_u]New[/name_u] Years, Halloween, St Patricks [name_u]Day[/name_u], Fourth of [name_u]July[/name_u], etc. So almost any month a baby is born there might be a holiday that could interfere with it. Another thing to consider, is your timing might not work out even if you try to plan it. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I tried to get pregnancy for 3 years before finally having IUI to have our son. So even if you try to plan everything perfectly, it might not work out so perfectly. [name_m]Just[/name_m] some food for thought!

But to answer your questions…

  1. I haven’t found it too difficult yet! We have to be aware of which weekends we plan it. He falls close to or on the day of SuperBowl [name_f]Sunday[/name_f] which a lot of people won’t come to a party during then because they want to watch the game.
  2. So far, it hasn’t been difficult for him. He just cares that he gets a birthday party and doesn’t seem to mind when that happens.
  3. That depends on the holiday. [name_u]Christmas[/name_u], anything in [name_u]December[/name_u] is basically off limits for us because we have so many family parties and obligations that we don’t have any weekends free. The first two weekends of [name_u]January[/name_u] are still basically [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] for us too. Thanksgiving, I’d say the last 3 weeks in [name_u]November[/name_u]. So almost all of [name_u]November[/name_u], [name_u]December[/name_u], and half of [name_u]January[/name_u] is taken up for us on the weekends.
  4. I don’t think it has. He still gets really excited about his birthday and whatever we’re doing for it. I had a friend growing up who had a birthday on actual [name_u]Christmas[/name_u]. She said she was a little sad when she was younger that she just had one day of combined presents instead of two. But as she got older they celebrated her birthday on a different day to give it it’s own special celebration. I think it is what you make it! If you have an excuse that you can’t celebrate a kid’s birthday because it’s a holiday then yeah they’re going to be upset. But if you make an extra effort to make it special still and maybe do different celebrations then I think it’s just as special for them!
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[name_f]My[/name_f] birthday is right around valentines, so not a major gift giving or family gathering holiday, (so it might be a bit different for those born on christmas or thanksgiving) but I actually really loved it.

And we are also in the same boat conception wise. We’re hoping to have our last little one by the end of the year. And if Im not currently pregnant (which its looking that way, though I cant rule it out entirely yet) we are heading into holiday territory and tbh, if that happens we’ve already decided we will be celebrating their birthday exactly as we do our summer and spring babies, with their own parties and presents. If they are born on christmas day, we would probably make sure to throw them a separate party another day, but other than that as long as they feel loved and celebrated, I think it could be fun

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I didn’t even think of other holidays because I was focused on Thanksgiving/Christmas. [name_f]My[/name_f] son’s birthday is [name_u]March[/name_u] 27 which is often closer to [name_f]Easter[/name_f] than my daughter is to [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] (looks like [name_f]Easter[/name_f] will fall on his birthday in a few years). :joy: This has also had very little impact. I’d argue his parties have been easier to coordinate as people are typically less busy for [name_f]Easter[/name_f].

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It’s hard to predict how they’d feel about it. I’m not a parent yet, so I’d just answer from my own point of view and my friends.

I’m a summer born, just days before the 4th of [name_u]July[/name_u]. I didn’t grow up in the US, but it’s a long school holiday pretty much everywhere. Sometimes it got a little lonely without friends around and my graduation present and birthday present were the same thing, but I didn’t mind it too much, and as I got older I have no complaints.

I had a friend who was born on NYE. She didn’t like all the parties and the noisy fireworks, etc. But then again, who knows a lot of other people would like that.

I had a coworker who was born right on valentine’s day and from what I knew, she liked it.

Oh and btw, what I would consider close is like… a week-ish or less? Definitely under two weeks.

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Thanks so much to everyone who responded! I’ve just been curious because, if we don’t have success with this month’s try, the next one will be in [name_u]November[/name_u] and the one after that in [name_u]December[/name_u]. And while I know I ultimately can’t 100% control it, we are trying to avoid if if/where possible.

We’ll be thankful to conceive whatever the due date, though.

@jky86 yes, I’m mainly trying to avoid Thanksgiving and [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] but we’ll see. Especially since two family members already have birthdays the week before American Thanksgiving…thanks for your input!

@auroradawn Thanks!

@ellerbea sure, DH and I would certainly care for our child/its birthday for sure but I am just trying to aim however accurately I can away from holidays. Thanks for the reminder though! I’m anxiety prone so struggling with this right now.

@northernlights I appreciate this input a lot. We’re not going to stop TTC I am just trying to see how it’s impacted adults/children. I actually have a birthday a few days after the 4th of [name_u]July[/name_u] (big in the USA) but that one is somewhat easier to slide a birthday after because it’s not a gift-giving one. Thanks!

@Rosebeth Thanks! We probably won’t make a huge deal like my mom did growing up but for celebrations/other things it would probably be easier to schedule around. Thanks! This helps!

@tallemaja I think Thanksgiving might be more of a problem travel-wise but it does help that it’s not gift-giving. Thanks!

@Wandarine I have a summer birthday as well and, while I definitely know I can’t 100% plan, I am trying my best to info gather before potentially having a Nov/Dec baby. [name_f]Glad[/name_f] I asked!

@AmyVermeersch Yeah, I’m mainly concerned with holidays that people gift-give/travel for. I’m glad it doesn’t seem too big a deal for him! Thanks!

@LibelluleClaire yes, this next cycle with somewhat avoid the holidays (although it’s getting there) but the next two will definitely be holiday babies. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks of these things. But yeah, we’d like to have our first by the end of the year, especially since I’m turning 31 this year already…

@luneth yeah, probably plus or minus two weeks is what I’m thinking/trying my best to avoid if possible but, as aforementioned, I can’t really fully control it. Thanks for your input :slight_smile:

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[name_f]My[/name_f] birthday is 4 weeks before [name_u]Christmas[/name_u]. First off I just want to say that holiday issues notwithstanding, I love when my birthday is. Late [name_u]November[/name_u] is often the perfect blend of autumnal and wintery. And obviously your experience will depend on your country, but where I live it has snowed quite often on my birthday, which is something I think many kids would enjoy as well. I used to sometimes get my birthday off from school due to snow closures!

What actually causes frustration for me is not the actual timing of my birthday, but the expansion of the [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] period. Again, things are different in different places, but when I was a child, the festive season started for most people on the 1st of [name_u]December[/name_u] and lasted until around [name_f]Epiphany[/name_f] on the 6th of [name_u]January[/name_u]. But as time has progressed, people and shops have started celebrating earlier and earlier. Some places even start in [name_u]September[/name_u] now. This was and continues to be hard for me as a November-birthday-haver, as I have always perceived my birthday to come “before” [name_u]Christmas[/name_u]. I therefore really find it hard to reconcile [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] time starting “before” my birthday. I wouldn’t be able to say if this would upset the average person, as I am a diagnosed autistic and things can be a bit more rigid for me. But I know a few people born around the holidays who feel the same :sweat_smile: [name_m]Little[/name_m] things I know!

I do want to say that I think all birthdays come with drawbacks. For example, my daughter is born in [name_u]August[/name_u] and we are already worried about her being the youngest in the school year. That is another advantage to being a winter baby actually - you are usually one of the older kids in the year! So I wouldn’t worry so much (easier said than done, I know!). Your baby will have the perfect birthday for them.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] sister was born on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_u]Day[/name_u] and she was the first born. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents made sure it was all about her before it became about [name_u]Christmas[/name_u]. Birthday presents were opened first, birthday presents couldn’t be wrapped in [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] paper, there was no “joint presents” allowed and they had to be separate. The only difficulties faced were birthday parties as places were usually fully booked a few weeks before, so they either had to be booked months and months in advance or happen a few weeks into [name_u]January[/name_u]. We also don’t have a meal out for her birthday because of where it falls, although she’s never expressed this as an issue (and she just turned 30). It is all she’s known though so she doesn’t have anything to compare it to!

I wouldn’t let it be a deterrent as, as long as you set expectations from family members to differentiate between the holiday and the birthday, it shouldn’t be an issue.

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Holidays that matter to me are probably different, but I initially looked at when Passover would be for the foreseeable future because I am due near the end of Passover this year. We had to make big changes to our plans because I would normally travel home to see family for the beginning of the holiday (which is 8 days long total), but can’t this year. I am not very observant, but traditionally it is a holiday with dietary restrictions that would make a regular birthday dessert more challenging. It’s a holiday that moves around, though, and it is unlikely to be an issue every year.

I do think I might try to avoid Yom Kippur if I have the luxury in the future, but with Jewish holidays things move around so it might be kind of like trying to avoid both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I work with people with Thanksgiving and Christmas birthdays, and to echo others I think it is not worth putting off ttc for but does mean making effort to make the birthday still feel special.

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I worried about this a lot more when we first started trying, but I don’t think this will stress me much in the future as we hopefully have more kids. I think depending on how you spin it there is a downside to a birthday at almost any point in the year, although I think the largest is clearly a birthday close to [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] (if you celebrate it). I think that is mostly because of the present thing, and I think that is most concentrated in childhood. In fact, my mother-in-law’s birthday is [name_u]December[/name_u] 26th and I think it actually works perfectly. The family is often already gathered together, and I actually think we celebrate her birthday much more than we would if we all needed to get to get together at another time in the year. I will admit we commonly give her combo Christmas/birthday gifts, or only get her a gift for one or the other, but I think once you are out of childhood gift giving really isn’t a big deal anyways.

I actually think birthdays that fall around any other holiday can be enjoyable - I have a cousin born on Valentines day and another born on the 4th of [name_u]July[/name_u], and both of those seem like fun birthdays to have! [name_f]My[/name_f] birthday often fell right before or during spring break, which I enjoyed. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband’s is a couple days before Halloween, and he got to have fun costume birthday parties as a kid. I realized weeks into my current pregnancy that [name_f]Easter[/name_f] this year falls when I am 39 weeks pregnant, and have said I would think it was cool if the baby was born on [name_f]Easter[/name_f]! Either way with a late March/early [name_f]April[/name_f] birthday I think inevitably [name_f]Easter[/name_f] will often fall near or even on his birthday whenever he comes, and I think that will be a complete non-issue.

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This has been a concern of mine over the years, as well. The holidays- especially the “big deal” ones- are hectic enough and I would feel bad if my child had to deal with feeling overshadowed or overlooked because of that (which isn’t a matter of entitlement but moreso kids having normal, big feelings). I can’t say that would sway me from TTC certain months though because we’d find some way to make it all work.

[name_f]My[/name_f] grandpa was born on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_f]Eve[/name_f] and I always felt bad for him. I guess, looking back, it may have been a celebration enough for him to be surrounded by his family but it was noticeable how little attention was paid to him/his birthday. No cards. No presents separate from his [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] one. It was kind of sad.

I will note that some people do like holiday birthdays. I have a friend born on the 4th of [name_u]July[/name_u] and she loves pretending that the fireworks and cookouts are all in her honor lol.

[name_f]My[/name_f] own baby was born close to Valentine’s [name_u]Day[/name_u] and that hasn’t been a big deal. [name_f]My[/name_f] biggest concern was relatives going overboard with themed gifts for him but the biggest issue we’ve actually had so far (he’s 3) has been getting dinner reservations! :joy:

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[name_f]My[/name_f] birthday is 4 days before [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] and as a kid I absolutely loved it because I got presents so close in proximity together. Although it made it harder to celebrate my birthday for parties as a kid, those often got pushed into [name_u]January[/name_u] so more people could be available.

As I grew older, some of my gifts often became a combined birthday/Christmas present which I wasn’t really a fan of. However I have kind of grown past that as I’ve become an adult. [name_f]My[/name_f] problem is not knowing what I want for either celebration and then thinking of something in like [name_u]February[/name_u] and having to wait the rest of the year :sweat_smile:

[name_f]My[/name_f] cousin has a birthday on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] [name_f]Eve[/name_f] and as a little kid her parents celebrated in [name_u]June[/name_u], which was an idea. I was jealous I never got that as a kid :joy:

Otherwise, I don’t really mind it! I’ve grown to enjoy my birthday where it is. I even went to a [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] themed jingle bar this year for my 21st birthday!

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[name_f]My[/name_f] birthday is [name_u]Jan[/name_u] 5, so 11 days after [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] and right before the school year started back up, so my birthday was typically forgotten by anyone outside of close family. I also share a birthday with my stepdad, so we always shared a cake. I didn’t really mind the shared birthday since it was a special day for my family as a whole, but I still struggle with the fact my birthday is often forgotten since I don’t have social media so even in my late 20s people still forget. Maybe the holidays just distract everyone so much that they forget I had mentioned my upcoming birthday. I now also share a birthday with my husband’s stepsister, so I thought my in-laws would be quicker to remember, but in 5 years of marriage, they still usually don’t. This is just my personal experience. I do think my birthday will be a more special day next year and beyond since my daughter will be with me and I can’t even imagine how awesome it will be to hear, “happy birthday, mama!”

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