Incorrect Quotes for Your Characters?

Writers' Corner
21

Some quotes may have been slightly edited.

At the rehab facility:
[name_m]Lionel[/name_m] Lockhart: “What do you do when someone offers you drugs?”
[name_m]Antero[/name_m] Gonzales Castellanos: “Take them!”
[name_f]Brandi[/name_f] [name_m]Montague[/name_m]: “Punch them in the neck!”
[name_m]Brent[/name_m] Bendixon: “Say thank you!”
[name_m]Alonzo[/name_m] [name_m]Montague[/name_m]: “Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!”
[name_m]Lionel[/name_m] Lockhart: “…”
[name_m]Lionel[/name_m] Lockhart: “No.”

[name_m]Sonny[/name_m] [name_m]Fitzgerald[/name_m], looking through his clothes: “Has anyone seen my top?”
[name_m]Bradley[/name_m] Robustelli, smirking: “Deborah’s in the kitchen.”

[name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] Mortenson: “I’m bisexual and confused.”
[name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] Mortenson: “Not at the fact that I’m bisexual, I just never know what the FUCK is going on.”

[name_m]Zane[/name_m] Oranienburg: “Truth or dare?”
[name_m]Hernando[/name_m] Arteaga Montoya: “Dare.”
[name_m]Zane[/name_m] Oranienburg: “I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”
[name_m]Hernando[/name_m] Arteaga Montoya: “Hey Chelsea?”
[name_f]Chelsea[/name_f] Templeton; intrigued: “Oh, yeah~?”
[name_m]Hernando[/name_m] Arteaga Montoya: “Can you move? I’m trying to get to Marquette.”

[name_f]Deborah[/name_f] Quinones: “Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?”
[name_m]Sonny[/name_m] [name_m]Fitzgerald[/name_m]: “Uh, autocorrect.”
[name_f]Deborah[/name_f] Quinones: “Autocorrect wrote ‘You’re so hot. Please step on me.’?”
[name_m]Sonny[/name_m] [name_m]Fitzgerald[/name_m]: “Yes.”

2 Likes
22

Peelo: When will [name_m]Ted[/name_m] himself…finally show up to the talk?
Menrui: The final boss.
Tabelle: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?
Peelo: I will not let [name_m]Ted[/name_m] hide behind these lies any longer!

Tabelle: Why don’t we just call it, “M.C. Donald’s?”
Peelo: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper’s name.
Menrui: It’d just be like- “Eyo, it’s ya boy, M.C. Donald!”

Menrui: It’s locked. You got a lock pick?
Peelo: Yeah-
Tabelle: kicks in the door

Tabelle: We need a distraction.
Peelo: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Menrui, whispering: [name_f]My[/name_f] time has come.

1 Like
23

Quotes may have been slightly edited.
Moose Cleveland: “Y’know, you shouldn’t be using a straw.”
Rosemary Mayberry: “I know, I know, it’s, like, bad for the environment and stuff.”
Moose Cleveland: Yeah… but, I mean… it’s a weird way to eat spaghetti…"

Deborah Quinones: “Sonny, many people are mildly dehydrated and don’t realize it. You should drink at least six glasses of water per day.”
Bradley Robustelli: “No, eight glasses!”
David Quinones: “I heard ten.”
Jiawen ChenZhang: “You need to drink at least five glasses of water per minute.”
later…
Sonny Fitzgerald: “Okay, I just read through every study I could find to try to figure out whether low-grade dehydration is even a real thing.”
Deborah Quinones: “What did you learn?”
Sonny Fitzgerald: “If you spend all day doing research and forget to eat or drink, you start to feel pretty bad.”
Deborah Quinones: “Don’t worry, I’ll get you some water.”
Sonny Fitzgerald: “But how many glas– whoa, feeling dizzy.”
Jiawen ChenZhang: “Maybe you should just drink straight from the tap.”

Principal Griffith: “So, did everyone learn their lesson?”
Zane Orenstein: “Nope!”
Rudyard Rockefeller: “I did not.”
Kabir Saikumar: “I may have actually forgotten one.”
Stormy Reynolds: “Also no.”
Rex Guanzon Panganiban: “Oh good, neither did I.”
Principal Griffith: Exhausted sigh

Sonny Fitzgerald, tucked into bed: “Debbie, I wanna bedtime story!”
Deborah Quinones: “I’m busy tonight, Sonny. I’ll read you one tomorrow.”
Sonny Fitzgerald, sitting up: “If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed!”
Deborah Quinones: “Sigh…Once upon a time, there was a whiny little boy named Sonny, who always wanted things his way. One day, his friends and wife got sick of it and locked him in his room for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.”
Sonny Fitzgerald, whining: “I don’t like these stories with morals!”

Magdalena Orenstein: “Zane, where’s your report card?”
Zane Orenstein: “My friends stole it from me at school, so I don’t have it anymore.”
Magdalena Orenstein: “Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe that lie?”
Zane Orenstein: “Pfft, what lie?”
Magdalena Orenstein: “That you have friends.”

The Squad is playing Chess
Jetson: (easily beats everyone because they know how to play)
Harper Mortenson: (doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway)
Sebastian Mortenson: (doesn’t know the rules, and loses)
Skyla Mortenson: “Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.”

Ms. Quattlebaum, teaching Kabir Saikumar to drive: “Okay Kabir, what does a green light mean?”
Kabir Saikumar: “Go!”
Ms. Quattlebaum: “A red light?”
Kabir Saikumar: “Stop!”
Ms. Quattlebaum: “And what about a yellow light?”
Kabir Saikumar: “If you floor it, you can make it!”
Ms. Quattlebaum: “…No—”

Deborah Quinones: “I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you here today. It’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room.”
Sonny Fitzgerald: “Why did you say that so vaguely? Bradley and I are literally the only people in here.”

Bradley Robustelli: “I don’t GAF because GAF spelled backwards is ‘F*G’ and I ain’t no homo.”

Mallory Mortimer, quietly: “…I need a deer skull, but you can’t ask why.”
Clementine McCaffrey, smirking: “Only if ya also don’t ask why.”
Clementine McCaffrey: (pulls four pristine deer skulls out of her bag)
Mallory Mortimer: “…”
Mallory, grabbing a skull: “This one will do nicely.”

1 Like
24

[name_f]My[/name_f] Rising of the Shield [name_f]Hero[/name_f][name_f][/name_f] OCs

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Aria[/name_f] [name_m]Reinhardt[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] I’m sad.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Cadence[/name_f] [name_m]Reinhardt[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Cadence[/name_f] [name_m]Reinhardt[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] And das not good.

1 Like
25

Some random incorrect quotes for my characters!

Miyu: Don’t mansplain this to me!
Sera: Wh- I’m a woman! I can’t mansplain anything to you!
Miyu: …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

Sapphire: Help, someone at prom has been killed!
Luna: Calm down, we don’t need you to Panic! At the Disco.

Val: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Zoi: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?
Roa: I only like dark humor.
Zoi, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?
Roa:
Zoi: An IMPASTA!

Rina: What do you call disobeying the law?
The Squad: A hobby.
Rina: crosses their arms
The Squad: That we do not engage in.

Sam: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing.
Noemi: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing.
Luna: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!

Sera: Why aren’t there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Silver, to Evren: Hey, that’s a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you’re a beautiful individual.
Caspian to Noemi: Be my friend or I’ll set your entire family on fire.
Zoi: There are two types of people.

3 Likes
26

Sel: [name_f]Vesper[/name_f], when’s your birthday?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: I have very high standards, you know.
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: I can make spaghetti…
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: Oh no! You’re meeting all my standards!

[name_f][/name_f]

Sel: … .----. – / … [name_f][/name_f]— .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I’M SORRY)
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: What’s that?
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: Remorse code.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: I’m even angrier now.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: But you’re always acting stupid?
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: …
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

[name_f][/name_f]

Sel, trying to comfort [name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: What’s the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I’ve been there.

[name_f][/name_f]

Sel: [name_f]Do[/name_f] you even know what an amulet is?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: Ves, those are omelettes.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Sel!
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: What the hell do you do?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: I die? What kinda question…

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: You don’t have to wear…
[name_f][/name_f]Sel: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

[name_f][/name_f]

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: I choose to waive that right!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: screaming

[name_f][/name_f]

Sel: Did you just refer to a knife as a “people-opener”?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]:
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Vesper[/name_f]: …Should I not have?

[name_f][/name_f]

This might be the most chaotic duo I have: Absurdly smart-but-dumb “evil” bisexual meets big strong gay “failure” with the self esteem of a rock

3 Likes
27

(Some quotes are slightly edited)

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] No, that’s not how you make cookies.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] FLOOR IT!!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] yOU’RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] I’M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] DO IT!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] NO-

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Gatekeep, girlboss, and what’s the other one again?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Luna[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] There isn’t another one. You’re crazy.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Rina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f]Happy[/name_f] birthday [name_m]Caspian[/name_m]! I’m your gift!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Caspian[/name_m], whispering to [name_m]Sam[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Rina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Rina[/name_f], gesturing to [name_m]Quill[/name_m] and [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] fighting:[name_f][/name_f] And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] You can’t have a gun on stage!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Luna[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s [name_m]Gun[/name_m]: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] What’s up with you?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Sam[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] What do you mean?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I think you’re still suffering the effects of your party last night.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Noemi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] All I drank was Redbull!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] How many?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Noemi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Eighteen.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Caspian[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Breakfast in bed!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Emails from AO3!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f]My[/name_f] favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] The screams of my enemies are a close second though.

[name_f][/name_f]

after the Squad has been separated for a few years
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] So what have you been up to recently?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Leading a revolution with [name_m]Quill[/name_m].
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Good for you two! Me, I’ve joined the mob.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] nods[name_f][/name_f] Oh, how cool! That’s awesome!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? [name_f]Roa[/name_f]?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Happily living as a hermit in the woods. [name_m]Caspian[/name_m]?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. [name_f]Rina[/name_f]?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Cult leader.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Yeah, that sounds about right.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Caspian[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f]Zoi[/name_f], get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_m]Val[/name_m], [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] wants you to get out of the house.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] So the other day I sent [name_f]Zoi[/name_f] out to get us some gas.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] And instead of getting gas, they got us novelty cookie cutters.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] …
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I love them so much.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Sam[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Hey.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Hey?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Sam[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] I can’t sleep. :confused:
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Miyu[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I can. Goodnight.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Quill[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Luna[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Roa[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I’m hot, I’m tall, I’m gay, and I’m on my theatre kid arc.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Luna[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Hey [name_m]Caspian[/name_m], can you give me the opposite of these words?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Luna[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Caspian[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Never, Going, To, Give, You-
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Caspian[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] The satisfaction.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Zoi[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] How petty can you get?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Val[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

2 Likes
28

Everett[adeys adoprive family’s kid’: 13
Lilly[alexs sister|princess of LM]: turning 13
Alex[lillys brother|king of LM]: 15
Adey[everetts sister|also the mc and a sociopath/pyromaniac and queen of RD]: turning 15
Clementine[adeys bsf/shielmaiden|trying to teach adey how to act like a lady]:15

Everett: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??
Lilly: Y- you were putting it in cold water??
Clementine: Everett. Answer the question, Everett.
Everett: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn’t realize there was an actual reason.
Everett: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?
Lilly: You don’t have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??
Clementine: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?
Lilly: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?
Clementine: It takes less than a minute.
Lilly: Is your stovetop powered by the fricking sun???
Clementine: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?
Lilly: Like seven minutes??
Adey: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes… less than that if you use a saucepan!
Clementine: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Adey? Your stove is enchanted!
Everett: Every single person here is a fricking lunatic.
Alex: Do none of you own a fricking kettle?!

2 Likes
29

This time, these are quotes I found on Tumblr or Pinterest. Some quotes may have been slightly edited.

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Sonny[/name_m] [name_m]Fitzgerald[/name_m], in reference to [name_f]Deborah[/name_f] Quinones:[name_f][/name_f] “My bodyguard and I friended so hard we rented a hotel room just to hang out.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Meagan[/name_f] [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: I like you." :smiling_face:
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Jordan[/name_m] [name_m]Stevenson[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Chat is this rizz!?”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Meagan[/name_f] [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “…You just ruined it.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Meagan[/name_f] [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “We were having a moment.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Jordan[/name_m] [name_m]Stevenson[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Chat, am I cooked?”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Meagan[/name_f] [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Who are you talking to right now!?”
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Jordan[/name_m] [name_m]Stevenson[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Chat clip that.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] Mortenson[name_f][/name_f]: “H-Hi everyone… erm, I’m r-really, um… shy… there’s so many people.” :pleading_face:[name_f][/name_f] :baby_bottle:[name_f][/name_f] :tulip:[name_f][/name_f] :sparkles:
[name_f][/name_f]@FictionWriterKate[name_f][/name_f]: “I WILL PROTECT YOU.”

[name_f][/name_f]

(:sweat_smile:)

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Chelsea[/name_f] [name_m]Templeton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: **Wait… you like me? For my personality…!?"
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] Mortenson[name_f][/name_f]: “I know, I was surprised too.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Skipper[/name_m] McCloud[name_f][/name_f]: “Crushes are the worst.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Jahmari[/name_m] [name_f]Holland[/name_f][name_f][/name_f]: “Yeah; whenever I’m around my crush I start acting super nervous and fidgety.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Harper[/name_f] Mortenson[name_f][/name_f]: “You’re always acting super nervous and fidgety.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Jahmari[/name_m] [name_f]Holland[/name_f][name_f][/name_f]: “Yeah… you don’t wanna think too hard on that.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Sonny[/name_m] [name_m]Fitzgerald[/name_m], on Twitter[name_f][/name_f]: “Debbie and I are no longer dating.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Deborah[/name_f] Quinones, in the replies[name_f][/name_f]: “Sonny that’s a terrible way of telling the public we’re getting married.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Deirdre[/name_f] McDermott, in reference to [name_m]Chauncey[/name_m] [name_m]Campbell[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “This man is such a loser. I need him in my bed immediately.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Summer[/name_f] Yearwood, in reference to [name_m]Alejandro[/name_m] Ibanez[name_f][/name_f]: “There’s this bouncer with pecs outside the bar. I just saw him take out his phone and ask [name_f]Siri[/name_f] what four times twelve is. The perfect man.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Skyla[/name_f] Mortenson:[name_f][/name_f] “Sebastian’s grade did a mock election and one of the kids named [name_m]Zane[/name_m] Orenstein ran as the Communist party as a joke and the school made him stop because he was winning.”

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Jetson[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] “Hmm… Their mock election was so realistic that the school even played the role of the CIA.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Meagan[/name_f] [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Y’all ever get so tired you start seeing spiders?”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Guadalupe[/name_f] Aguilar [name_m]Sanchez[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “After I take seventeen Benadryl, I start seeing the hat man.”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Meagan[/name_f] [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “THE WHO!?”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Guadalupe[/name_f] Aguilar [name_m]Sanchez[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Oh, this is not a safe space suddenly.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Kenichi[/name_m] Watanabe[name_f][/name_f]: “If I don’t get a Switch for [name_m]Christmas[/name_m] tomorrow, I’m going to explain he/him lesbians to my demented grandpa in the middle of dinner.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

Marquette [name_m]Young[/name_m][name_f][/name_f]: “Why are girls allowed to say ‘girlfriend’ when they refer to a platonic friend, but I can’t say, ‘this is my boytoy twink malewife Hernando’?”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Reginald[/name_m] McCaffrey, in reference to [name_m]Chevy[/name_m] Whisenhunt[name_f][/name_f]: “My cousin was hitting the griddy but he was doing it so bad, and I was like, ‘Bruh, hitting the shiddy’ and he started crying.”

[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Jocelyn[/name_f] Guanzon Panganiban[name_f][/name_f]: “Why does soap smell so good but taste so bad?”
[name_f][/name_f]Praveen Chaudhary[name_f][/name_f]: “The smell is from delicious perfumes that have been added to the soap. The taste comes from a myriad of chemicals and ingredients that are probably not the best to eat!”
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Jocelyn[/name_f] Guanzon Panganiban[name_f][/name_f]: “You are so smart! [name_f]Wanna[/name_f] go out?”

1 Like
30

OMG I haven’t been on Nameberrry but I will absolutely protect him with my life

1 Like
31

Sora: Wasn’t icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?
Koharu: ICARUS?

Sean: Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own battles.
Brona: Why would I be kind? I will be brutal and relentless and ride into battle by their side!

Laura: Are pigeons drones?
Jacob: What? No, I’m trying to sleep.
Laura: Think about it. How come you’ve never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they’re DRONES!
Jacob: Crying Please let me sleep…

1 Like
32

[name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f]Lynette[/name_f], let’s go!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Okay, you know what? That’s it, you had your chance.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] What-?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Mom, Dad, [name_f]Lynette[/name_f] smoked pot in college.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] You are such a tattletale!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was [name_f]Karina[/name_f] who was smoking the pot but… It was me. I’m sorry.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboy’s, [name_f]Lynette[/name_f] did.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Yeah, well, hurricane [name_f]Gloria[/name_f] didn’t break the porch swing [name_m]Rollin[/name_m] did.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f]Lynette[/name_f] hasn’t worked for a year!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_m]Rollin[/name_m] and [name_f]Karina[/name_f] are living together!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f]Lynette[/name_f] married [name_f]Elmira[/name_f] in [name_f]Vegas[/name_f] and got divorced AGAIN!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Riana[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I love [name_m]Jacques[/name_m] [name_m]Cousteau[/name_m]!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Elmira[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Alice[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I wanna gooo!!

[name_f][/name_f]

talking about [name_f]Lynette[/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Quinn[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] They are beauty.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Alice[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] They are grace.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m], runnning into the room:[name_f][/name_f] THEY CAN DESTROY THE HUMAN RACE!

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f] Hand me the people opener.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] …
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Pardon?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f], annoyed:[name_f][/name_f] The g! [name_m]Just[/name_m] hand it to me!
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m], stressed:[name_f][/name_f] WHAT THE F— IS A PEOPLE OPENER?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] How do you not know what a people opener is? Its pointy- you know? With a handle?
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Knife. It’s called a knife.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_m]Rollin[/name_m] told me I was found in a KFC bucket next to a dumpster and I was rescued.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Riana[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] You probably were.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Oh crap, maybe that’s the reason why. Maybe my lackluster feelings towards their fried chicken is because subconsciously I’m reliving the trauma whenever I see their trademark bucket. [name_f]My[/name_f] brain and cognitive dissonance won’t let me completely lie to myself and say I hate their food, because fried chicken is great and I want some now, instead it just steers me away. Thank you for helping to guide me towards this epiphany, perhaps now the healing can begin.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Riana[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] So [name_f]Alice[/name_f] was just using me?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I’m sorry, [name_f]Riana[/name_f].
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f], trying to contain their amusement:[name_f][/name_f] You must feel pretty stupid right now.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Riana[/name_f]:
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Ok, that’s a time-out.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] No, I was just trying to-
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Go sit over there!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] walks away in defeat

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_m]Rollin[/name_m], texting [name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I’m a theif.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Thief.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Theif.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I before E except after C.
[name_f][/name_f][name_m]Rollin[/name_m]:[name_f][/name_f] Thceif.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] NO.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] I would let you ruin my life.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Sorry, I’m busy ruining my own. You’ll have to wait.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Quinn[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] What’s the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Alice[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] “Stalagmite” has an “m” in it.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Riana[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Take them!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Elmira[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Punch them in the neck!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Lynette[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] [name_m]Say[/name_m] thank you!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Alice[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] …
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] No.

[name_f][/name_f]

[name_f]Karina[/name_f]:[name_f][/name_f] Don’t joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

2 Likes