I dont think it’s wrong at all! So long as you love the name
A girl can be [name_m]Junior[/name_m] or the Second, just like a boy can. It’s just not as commonly done. I think it wouldn’t be any different than wondering if the siblings of a boy named [name_m]Junior[/name_m] would be jealous. If you want to use your own name, or a version of it for your child, go ahead! [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] & [name_u]Desi[/name_u] Arnaz did just that. If you aren’t sure, then maybe as a middle.
I have the same middle name as my mother & I think its sweet. I don’t think my sister is offended or anything.
@ElizabethAntoinette I agree, and even why not mothers for their sons. As someone else wrote in a thread somewhere yesterday, in most situations sons especially will carry their father’s last name with them for the rest of their life, so why not have a part of their mother’s legacy in them too. Thank you for your encouragement.
@rosajune Thank you for your really thoughtful and well expressed reply. I don’t know if my hesitation was really associated with the patriarchal standards that exist in society or not. After all, sometimes they are so embedded that we are almost unconscious to them until someone calls them out. When I wrote the OP I was thinking more that people were surely going to say that if was selfish/egotistical but nothing to do with gender. In other words it would not be any different whether I was a woman or a man. But of course, in reading all the replies, I also realize that not many men would even have questioned it in the first place if it was something they wanted to do, as evidenced by the many Jrs and IIs and IIIs and so on that we see in society. So did asking the question even have something to do with my being a woman in the first place? Probably. I really appreciate all the feedback and encouragement in this thread.
I love that! [name_u]Honor[/name_u] names are important to me but I don’t mind a bit of a gender bend. I hope to have a [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] to honor [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] and an [name_m]Anthony[/name_m] to honor [name_f]Antionette[/name_f]. If I have all boys I’m sure one will have [name_m]Elijah[/name_m] somewhere in his name as it’s the closest male equivalent to [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]!
@Silvering thanks for your feedback. In some ways I find it easier to think about a possible son than daughter. [name_f]My[/name_f] mn is an easy one to pass across to a son through the male equivalent of [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]. For a daughter it’s a bit harder. I don’t want to use either of my actual names. If I do this, I’d sooner it be more subtle. But there are not too many variations on my first name [name_u]Haley[/name_u], other than different spellings and I am not so fond of the alternatives for [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f]. I may see if I can come up with something based on my last name.
Thank you @Molly20. I like the middle name use too as an honoring position without it being too overly imposed. It gives the child their own identity still through their own name without it being about me (or the father). In some ways that’s what I don’t like about Jrs etc. It’s like saying the father is so important the son is going to be a mini him, like a clone. I am sure they don’t see it that way of course.
It’s interesting your mom gave all of you the same middle. I had not thought of that. I am not sure I would do that, but it could be an option or some variation of it for a daughter.
@SparkleNinja18 thank you for saying all that you did. While it is wonderful to receive so much encouragement and know that if I did honor myself it would not make me a bad person, or be a bad person for even thinking about it, it is also nice to hear someone say something alternative. I do like my name. Mostly I like it because my parents, especially my father, put some real meaning behind it. But I hear you on the self esteem thing
Thank you @Pansy. It’s interesting how these passing down of names can become a generational thing too. I have heard of that before. I am not thinking beyond my own (future) children at the moment, but perhaps one day I will be here saying the same thing
@elanorelle thank you so much. It really touched me when you expressed it as a special connection. You are so right. That cannot be a bad thing, ever. That is so inspirational.
@lyrasoxford thank you for that reply. I must admit that I have always thought in terms of fn and mn but only recently started to consider more than one mn just because I don’t think I can have enough children to use all the names I really love But it is also nice to know that you didn’t feel left out at the same time. Thank you.
@flamingo thank you. If you don’t mind me asking, which culture are you from? Of course, if you don’t wish to answer, I completely understand. I do agree on the desire for a memory to live on as a legacy.
@ElizabethAntoinette, one legacy I would like to pass on to any of my children is that their name really meant something to me and was more than a fashionable choice or picking a name out of a book at random. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if it is not honoring someone, it could be honoring something, or some association that is important to me that I would want to pass down to my children and be able to express so they know why I chose that name, just for them and why they uniquely were the right person for that name.
Oh, I hope you didn’t misunderstand!! I wasn’t saying that you’re a bad person, and I don’t think you are either! It’s just not a tradition that I quite understand myself, and it’s not something I would do personally. I also despise how common my name is so I don’t think the world needs any more girls named [name_u]Abby[/name_u]
Not egotistical at all! [name_f]My[/name_f] mother’s middle name is my sister’s middle name. I don’t have any family names in my name. Neither of us are bothered by it one way or the other!
Yeah, her maiden name is an uncommon but easy to say first name. I probably wouldn’t do it either just because I don’t think my last name makes a good middle.
Definitely agree with the own identity thing. There’s 4 kids total and two of us not only share all three initials, but also coincidentally share those initials with my dad. Not the biggest deal, but something to consider. I feel like it would be nice to have one distinct initial that’s just theirs. Adds a bit to the identity, if that makes sense. And easier for shorthand!
No I think it’d be cool. At one point I was all about naming a future daughter [name_f]Cecelia[/name_f]. The only reason I would pause to do so is that when my child is young it might be a mouthful to be like “[name_m]Hi[/name_m] I’m [name_f]Cecily[/name_f] & this is [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]”. But easier to pronounce names wouldn’t be an issue in that sense.
Absolutely not!!! So many parents share their first or middle names with their kids, specially in the most traditional families! It’s a beautiful and very meaningful idea. In your case, I think using Alexander or Alexandra (or other variations) as a first or middle would be a magnificent choice.
I believe they would be fine with that. This situation happens a lot, I think, specifically when the oldest kids are boys. I know many parents who named their first children after the mother/father but didn’t choose family names for their youngest children. And I never met any siblings who had a negative opinion about this decision.
I don’t think you need to be worried about this. If you want to name one of your kids after you, please do it. There is no good reason for you to avoid that honoring.
Thank you @Estrela for your encouragement. I am really glad I asked this question now. The responses have definitely reassured me about this and not to overthink it, even if it comes down to one child or another having an honoring associated name.
I don’t think so. Why is it okay and normal for men to name their sons completely after themselves but not a woman to have at least a variation or subtle nod to herself?
My name is [name_f]Angelica[/name_f], my daughter’s first middle name is [name_f]Angelique[/name_f] after me. No one has ever raised an eye brow when I explain my choice. I doubt just because it’s your son there will be any problems.
I don’t think future kids will really get jealous as they’ll have special meanings and connections of their own and I’m sure an honor name or two themselves. And I never hear of kids who have a brother that’s a [name_m]Jr[/name_m] getting jealous over not getting to be the [name_m]Jr[/name_m] themselves. As long as you let each kid know that the names you chose just for them had lots of equal thought and meaning put behind them whether it’s an honor name or not there shouldn’t be any contention over it. I know lots of family’s with middles that are passed down multiple generations among both the women and the men, sometimes both if it’s a unisex name.
Also, there are tons of daughters who have middle names or even first names that are derived forms honoring their dad’s first or middle name, and it’s always seen as cute so I don’t see why there should be a double standard. I don’t think it’s egotistical, it’s just you passing down something along your lineage. It’s sweet.