I can certainly understand this. [name_f]My[/name_f] family has 3 sides, and a lot of the names that I like were repetitively used in previous generations, including ours. We have 2 Jëffs, 15 Röbërts with matching NNs, 6 Chrïses (m&f) with different full names, 2 Cᴀröls with different spellings, multiple Jᴀmëses, and so on. Though my generation has mostly chosen different names, it still makes it difficult to choose names. I’m not willing to add to the confusion of asking “Which one?” with my names (two exceptions with very different NNs from everyone in the family). I had to lay down a rule for myself (and my SO) that we can use variations of names for anyone we want to honor as FNs (and probably MNs) if they are still living. I refuse to walk into a family gathering and have to sit there and decipher which one of the many with the same name by the details being given, at least when it comes to my kid.
The week that hammered this home for me was when I sat down and talked with my mom who talked about a Röbërt, and, after she finished her story, I had to ask “Your brother Röbërt or my brother Röbërt?” I then went to visit my grandma who told me 2 stories… the first about a Gëörgë and I had to ask “Your husband Gëörgë or your son Gëörgë?” and the second about a Jᴀmës (“Your son Jᴀmës or your grandson Jᴀmës?”). I then went to celebrate someone birthday in the family and there was a story about a Chrïs, and all I could say was “Which one?” Two months later cemented this decision, when I was talking with my mom and brother about real estate and a Jëff (one cousin is in real estate and the other works with dogs) – both mom and brother thought I was talking about the Jëff that works with dogs and not the other one even though my mom knew which one I had been in communication with about a house being sold.