Namer's Remorse

My daughter is 3 monthes old and I think that I choose the wrong name. Her name is [name]Sailor[/name]. When I was pregnant my husband and I rarely talked about names because we didn’t agree my husband liked older names and I liked trendy names. I had thought the name [name]Sailor[/name] was cute and to my surpise so did my husband. Then the day came that our daughter was born, she came early and I didn’t fight for the names that I truly loved… [name]Chloe[/name] or [name]Ava[/name]. Because I wanted to go with a name that my husband loved equally as well. Now I feel like I choose the wrong name. Now when I hear my daughters name its a feeling of regret instead of a feeling of pride and I hate that. I want to love her name as much as I love her. I have spend many days and nights crying over this and I just don’t know what to do. My husband said that if it truly bothers me I can change it. However, he says that it would be very hard for him to call her anything else, but he would do it for me. Is this wrong of me to ask my husband to do this for me? What do you think of the name? [name]Do[/name] you think her name will age well? Is it cute for a baby but not for an adult? These are my biggest fears.

It seems as if you truly feel really strongly about her name and if it is bothering you that much you should probably change it now before it goes on any longer. Before doing so here are two scenarios which still include [name]Sailor[/name] which your husband already likes:

#1: [name]Just[/name] change her middle name: (if it is not already [name]Chloe[/name]) to [name]Sailor[/name] [name]Chloe[/name]. It sound quite nice together.

#2: Move her first name to her middle name: [name]Chloe[/name] [name]Sailor[/name]

Or you could just toss out [name]Sailor[/name] altogether if you would don’t like the name anymore. In the end I wouldn’t feel too bad about changing her name. I knew a couple once who named their son [name]Christopher[/name] [name]Joel[/name] and a few weeks later thought he did not look like a [name]Chris[/name] at all so they swapped it and made him [name]Joel[/name] [name]Christopher[/name] instead.

I’m curious to see what you decide.

[name]Elisabeth[/name]
http://tinyurl.com/r4uavt

I think if you feel so much that you don’t like [name]Sailor[/name] for her name, you can change it. We have had several threads posted about this subject, and while I can’t remember anyone going to change the name ultimately, others have voiced their experience of doing so. It is definitely not too late, and if it gives you peace of mind to do it, you and your husband should come to an agreement. It looks like he knows how powerfully upset you are and that this name is not one you ultimately agree on, and that it should be changed to something else.

If you want to call her [name]Chloe[/name], you should practice with it and make sure it feels right. If you have some other ideas, practice using the name on her for a few days or little longer because you will know if it doesn’t feel right before you file the paperwork, then you won’t have the same problem twice.

And even if you don’t keep [name]Sailor[/name] for a name, well, I don’t know how you feel about this, but I think your husband can still call her [name]Sailor[/name] for a nickname while he knows and she learns that her name is really [name]Chloe[/name] (or whatever you pick). [name]Sailor[/name] is a cute name, but if it makes you so unhappy that you are crying about it, I don’t know how you would feel if your husband liked to use it for a special nickname for her, but I think that is a fair compromise, and really adorable.

I don’t think it’s “wrong” to ask your husband to reconsider the name, but I don’t think you should change your daughter’s name to something only one of you loves. Her name needs to be something you both love.

I like [name]Sailor[/name] a lot better than [name]Chloe[/name]. [name]Sailor[/name] is still trendy and has longer staying power that [name]Chloe[/name]. [name]Sailor[/name] sounds more mature than [name]Chloe[/name] and in my opinion will age better. [name]Chloe[/name] is better for a child than an adult. [name]Sailor[/name] is good for both a child’s name and and adult’s name.

It might be good, as has been mentioned, to compromise and add [name]Chloe[/name] to the name. Over time, you and your husband will figure out which fits her best, or which one she prefers, or can call her both names, like you would a [name]Mary[/name] [name]Jane[/name]. It’s not unusual for kids to be called two names.

Best of luck!

I love the name [name]Sailor[/name]! I think it’s cute and spunky.:slight_smile:
If it doesn’t feel right though, I agree that you change it to the middle
name. I do think it will age well though.

[name]Sailor[/name] is very cute! I’m all for unusual names. But if you feel that unsettled about her name, then there is nothing wrong with changing it. If you live in the US, you should have until the baby turns 1 to change the name w/o having to jump through hoops. [name]Just[/name] really think it over and “try-out” the new name on your daughter before you officially change it.
I know that with every single one of my children, I went through a little naming remorse between 1 and 3 months of age, but then I got over it and decided that the name that we chose was the right name. However, I was never as upset as you seem to be. Like other suggested, maybe you can use [name]Sailor[/name] as her middle name instead.
Good luck!

I don’t think it’s “wrong” to ask your husband to reconsider the name, but I don’t think you should change your daughter’s name to something only one of you loves. Her name needs to be something you both love.

I like [name]Sailor[/name] a lot better than [name]Chloe[/name]. [name]Sailor[/name] is still trendy and has longer staying power that [name]Chloe[/name]. [name]Sailor[/name] sounds more mature than [name]Chloe[/name] and in my opinion will age better. [name]Chloe[/name] is better for a child than an adult. [name]Sailor[/name] is good for both a child’s name and and adult’s name.

It might be good, as has been mentioned, to compromise and add [name]Chloe[/name] to the name. Over time, you and your husband will figure out which fits her best, or which one she prefers, or can call her both names, like you would a [name]Mary[/name] [name]Jane[/name]. It’s not unusual for kids to be called two names.

Best of luck!

[name]Sailor[/name] is a cute name, but very trendy and lightweight imo. [name]Ava[/name] is super popular, but gorgeous. I love [name]Chloe[/name] the most of the three names you mentioned. It is a classic name, will age well, and is not as popular as [name]Ava[/name]. [name]Chloe[/name] will probably get to the top five though. If it’s not already there. I also love [name]Phoebe[/name] and [name]Daphne[/name] which are similar to [name]Chloe[/name] but not as popular.
It sounds like you really don’t like [name]Sailor[/name], so I would say go ahead and change it now while she’s still so young. It is important to choose a name that your husband loves, too, or he will feel ambivalent about her new name. Since he really loves [name]Sailor[/name], her middle name could be [name]Sailor[/name]. Or something else he really loves.

Hello, I don’t think it is “wrong” of you at all to ask your husband to change your daughters name. It is not strange at all to find that the name that got chosen at birth isn’t the right one. That being said, I agree with the other posters who said that you need to make sure you change the name to one that you both like. And you should definitely take some time before changing it, to make sure it feels right.

If your husband wants to continue calling your daughter [name]Sailor[/name] even after you change her name, I don’t see any problem with that at all. [name]Sailor[/name] can be his special “pet name” for his daughter – the name he uses for her but which isn’t used by others and isn’t her official name. [name]Sailor[/name] would make a great pet name/nick name.

I think you will be able to find a name you agree on since there are a lot of classic/traditional names that are popular right now. Here are a few suggestions:

[name]Marina[/name] (this goes with [name]Sailor[/name] in the nautical/ocean theme of names)

[name]Ava[/name]-[name]Jane[/name] or [name]Ava[/name]-[name]Rose[/name] (double 1st name, sounds both classic & trendy)

[name]Samantha[/name] (another classic & popular name, starts with S like [name]Sailor[/name])

[name]Saige[/name]/[name]Sage[/name] (similar sound to [name]Sailor[/name], name of an herb, but also means ‘wise’)

[name]Alaina[/name]

[name]Alexandra[/name] (nn [name]Sasha[/name])

[name]Annie[/name]

[name]Cadence[/name]

[name]Eve[/name]/[name]Eva[/name]/[name]Ada[/name]/[name]Wava[/name]/[name]Tara[/name]/[name]Reva[/name]/[name]Raven[/name]/[name]Maeve[/name]/[name]Ana[/name]/[name]Avery[/name] (names that remind me of [name]Ava[/name])

[name]Clio[/name]/[name]Cleo[/name]/[name]Cora[/name]/[name]Theo[/name]/[name]Rory[/name]/[name]Polly[/name]/[name]Phoebe[/name]/[name]Orchid[/name]/[name]Opal[/name]/[name]Marlie[/name]/[name]Lockie[/name]/[name]Leora[/name]/
[name]Kelly[/name]/[name]Flora[/name]/[name]Fiona[/name]/[name]Corene[/name]/[name]Coco[/name]/[name]Carlie[/name]/[name]Cady[/name] (names that remind me of [name]Chloe[/name])

[name]Lorelei[/name]/[name]Lorelai[/name]/[name]Lorena[/name]/[name]Loretta[/name]/[name]Lori[/name]/Lorianna/[name]Lorna[/name] (has the ‘lor’ sound also found in [name]Sailor[/name])

Good luck!

I wonder if your name remorse is a temporary thing, as rkarczynski suggested hers was, or whether you will always feel disappointed in the name Salior. I think it’s a wonderful name, btw–but do you feel it doesn’t suit your daughter? I guess there are definite qualities one might associate with someone named Salior (sunny, light, breezy–but diligent and focused, too), and perhaps your daughter strikes you as needing a more serious or common (if she seems sensitive) name? Or is it less about your daughter and more about you just not liking the name? As her mother, you will be saying it more than anyone for awhile, so I’m not saying it’s wrong to consider changing it for your own sake. But I might not do it unless I had a pretty solid understanding that my daughter (at 3 months–hard to know? or not?) really didn’t suit her name at all, and wouldn’t like it.

This is my sentiment exactly – I have known people that are called unusual names by their loved ones, but go by their “real” name in professional circles, etc. I had a close friend like this, and when I would visit her in her home, her husband called her a different name. I finally asked why that was, and she explained that she grew up with a nickname her dad had given her along the lines of “twinkle” and pretty much everyone called her that until college, but then, she wanted to go by a more formal name but not loving her real name, she just chose one. Her husband calls her that one, but she eventually chose to use her real name, which is what I knew her by. That’s a pretty confusing story, but it goes to show, at some point lots of us want a serious name.

This leads me to be very blunt here – [name]Sailor[/name] does not sound like a real name to me. I think it could even be open to some mild teasing. You seem to have more classic tastes in names liking [name]Ava[/name] and [name]Chloe[/name] – I would rename her something along those lines, but if your husband and others want to call her [name]Sailor[/name], that’s a cute nickname with a great story! I just think your daughter will thank you later on for giving her some options.

I think you should change your daughter’s name immediately to the name that you love, I think [name]Ava[/name] and [name]Chloe[/name] are gorgeous choices. [name]Just[/name] because your daughter will be named [name]Chloe[/name] or [name]Ava[/name] doesn’t mean that Dad can’t call his little girl [name]Sailor[/name].

In my family [name]Margaret[/name] was always known as [name]Margot[/name] but her father called her [name]Jane[/name]! Where he got [name]Jane[/name] from we don’t know but everyone was happy.

Now my favourite combo is [name]Ava[/name] [name]Caroline[/name]. I just [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Ava[/name].

[name]Chloe[/name] [name]Skye[/name] is my GD’s name and she is adorable and [name]Chloe[/name] is a Greek classic, it will not age, it is timeless, well loved in antiquity and today.

[name]Don[/name]'t cry anymore get out there and make the change.

[name]Just[/name] to reassure you, you are not the first, and will probably not be the last, to come to these boards with namer’s remorse. The general consensus seems to be that it is better to cut your losses and pick a new name than to hate her name for the rest of her life. On the other hand, I have seen others come to peace with a name they regretted and ultimately decide to keep it (I think that is what happened with the “remorseful” mothers of [name]Jillian[/name] and [name]Jacqueline[/name]). The good thing about [name]Sailor[/name] is that it is a cute nickname even if you ultimately change her full name. So her name would be, like ,[name]Chloe[/name] “[name]Sailor[/name]” [name]Smith[/name], or [name]Chloe[/name] [name]Smith[/name] nn [name]Sailor[/name].

[name]Sailor[/name] is an unusual name, if you are so upset about it then change it to your preferred name or maybe you and your husband can make up a list of the names you love and then cross reference them to find a compromise that you both love . [name]Sailor[/name] would be a cute nn for something like [name]Sarah[/name] or [name]Sadie[/name]?I can’t imagine a grown up person called [name]Sailor[/name], but I hope you manage to sort it out, best of luck .

Sorry that you are feeling so bad at the moment.
[name]Even[/name] though I like the name [name]Sailor[/name] I feel the best thing to do would be to keep it as a a middle name and to choose a name whether it be [name]Chloe[/name] or [name]Ava[/name] that you feel happier about for your daughter’s first name. I think it is important that you feel happy about your daughter’s name and it is not too late to change it.
It is not uncommon for this to happen. I’m really just echoing what the previous posters have said which I think is good advice. [name]Sailor[/name] could be used as a second middle name or you could use it as a family nickname. Good luck with whatever you decide.

After speaking with my husband last night about the name change I feel as if we are back at square one. We still can’t find a name that we both like. He said that he doesn’t think that he can handle [name]Chloe[/name] or [name]Ava[/name] because they are way too popular and the reason why we went with [name]Sailor[/name] in the first place was because it was cute and not nearly as popular. We were throwing some ideas around like maybe changing the spelling of [name]Sailor[/name] to [name]Saylor[/name] that way its more like [name]Taylor[/name] and more of a name rather than a title. We were also discussing while we are going to the trouble of changing the spelling that perhaps we would change her middle name from [name]May[/name] to [name]Gabriella[/name] that way she will be [name]Saylor[/name] [name]Gabriella[/name] and when she gets older she can go by which ever name she prefers. And also that way we don’t even really have to tell people that we are doing a name change if we don’t want. [name]Just[/name] some ideas we are still trying to figure things out still. It is making me feel a whole lot better though hearing other peoples feeling on her name, and knowing that I’m not crazy. Please continue to let me know how you feel about her name.

I think it would be a good idea to change the spelling of her name, if that makes you and your husband happy. There could be so many unique and interesting variations of [name]Sailor[/name], so you have quite a bit of options there. Personally I kind of like Saelar… :slight_smile: And, like you said, she could always just use her middle name, if you want to change that to something more first-namey. Or even [name]May[/name] sounds cute as a possible first name, in my opinion.

Good luck!

Here is a compromise between [name]Chloe[/name] and [name]Sailor[/name]: [name]Clover[/name]! You could even call her [name]Chloe[/name] for a nickname. Figured this out on “check out a name”. Looked up all girls’ names that end in “er”. I also really love [name]Harper[/name], but it’s liable to become popular. But it is very pretty.
[name]Clover[/name] and [name]Harper[/name] have that contemporary yet feminine feel. It seems like your husband loves contemporary and you love feminine.
[name]Both[/name] names sound great with the middle name [name]May[/name]. They also work well with [name]Gabriella[/name].

I think changing the spelling of [name]Sailor[/name] sounds like a bad idea. It’s already a unique-ish sort of name. Making it more “like [name]Taylor[/name]” does nothing of the sort, in my opinion, it makes it a lot worse, very trendy and immature. It is already kind of a whimsical name compared to [name]Chloe[/name] or [name]Ava[/name]. If your husband won’t agree and you can’t come to the middle here between yourselves, please look over this website:

http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/

Scroll down to the box on the lower left and choose top 1000 from the menu. Look past the top 100 names for names that you like. Not all of them will have qualities of [name]Sailor[/name] or [name]Chloe[/name], and some of them are quite “trendy” even if they aren’t as popular as [name]Chloe[/name], and some of them are on the way down now.

When you’ve got some names you like, which aren’t too popular, go back to the first page and try that name in the box on the lower right and type in at least 25 years (I typically type in 200, although it doesn’t go back that far, but I’m more interested in historical popularity, plus making sure I go back far enough to see what I went looking for) to see if it is increasing or decreasing in popularity, as well as how fast it is rising or declining. [name]Madison[/name] wasn’t always popular - it jumped up hundreds of places per year since 1985. [name]Elizabeth[/name] has always been fairly popular by contrast.

I love the name [name]Chloe[/name], but if it’s not right for your husband, then so be it. Your daughter will have a few friends with that name, and I don’t think that’s tragic. At least it’s a serious and cool, good and real name - which to me is more important than “well, it’s different,” or cute, which [name]Sailor[/name] certainly is - but what else can it do for your daughter?

I think changing the spelling, if it puts you at ease now, would not be for the best later on. However, she is your child. My advice is don’t alter the spelling to be even more trendy - if [name]Chloe[/name] is too “common,” then altered spellings make [name]Sailor[/name] a lot more common (in a cheesy, trendy way), even if her exact name is not.

Sorry if I sound very frantic and urgent. I am trying to help, but I don’t know you or your husband, so ultimately, it is just advice you can take or leave.

I guess my reasoning behind not wanting a popular name is I don’t want my daughter to be referred to as [name]Chloe[/name] J. for her school life, because there are 4 other Chloes in her class. When I chose [name]Sailor[/name] it was because it was cute, yet unique. The name [name]Sailor[/name] also has significance to my husband and I. When we were dating we used to drive through a town called Saylorville on our way to see each other.

Some people love her name some hate it. But, one of the hardest aspects for me to accept her name is knowing people don’t like it, yes she is my child and I have to like it, however hearing people say that her name will not age well, or her name is a title not a name, doesn’t make things any easier. However, I keep trying to remind myself that older generations of people, even some of the younger generation are not open to unique names, although I think the days of [name]Jennifer[/name] and [name]Jacob[/name] are over.