Namer's Remorse

General Name Discussion
21

Pardon me for getting into the “psychology” here, for I am not licensed or trained or anything, but I hear a couple things here:

  1. You like [name]Sailor[/name] because it is a significant aspect of your relationship. Sometimes, I think names like that are really much cooler in the middle, unless they stand up as first names. It’s really nice that [name]Sailor[/name] is after Saylorville, place names can sound much more or less appropriate for names, though. You wouldn’t name your daughter Poughkeepsie while you might name your son [name]Hudson[/name]. [name]Sailor[/name] seems to fit sentimentally between you, and I think that’s nice.

  2. You hear people not liking the name [name]Sailor[/name]. It is sometimes a good idea to find out why - because sometimes people are right and sometimes they are all wrong. We all have prejudices about names for various reasons, and even participating on this forum, we do our best to nicely prevent people from choosing a name which invites teasing or allowing for some significance to trump whether a name is too popular or has been worn out by overuse… ultimately it is up to the parents to love their choice and we are happy for them no matter what (overall, I’m pretty sure).

But you do not feel like [name]Sailor[/name] is the right name - either people have said they don’t like your choice, and this reflects you and how you feel about it. Of course, you’re going to feel bad. I also think there’s a deep element of empathy here, for [name]Sailor[/name]. She is the one with the name some people say they don’t like, and that’s her name “for life.” [name]How[/name] is she supposed to handle that now, she is only an infant, and you are feeling it for her. It’s definitely something to consider, if it makes you cry about it, and worry what to do.

Going back to square one is difficult. I am not married, so I don’t know how this disagreement must manifest itself in all the couples who try to name a child with differing priorities and preferences. I really think it’s for the best that you both feel secure in the name you choose - and agree [name]Chloe[/name] is very popular. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but you and your husband do - you are not alone there, many posters on this board avoid or suggest avoiding names that are just epidemic. Quite a few, however, love a name despite its popularity and wouldn’t hesitate to use it if it’s, at its core, a really good name and you love it. Your husband doesn’t love it. Unfortunately, this does mean you might have to start over, and that [name]Chloe[/name] is off the list.

The first thing I would suggest doing is relax and let it go for a few days and remember to get around to it. It seems like a frustrating thing you need to settle, but mostly remember that you do have time, her name doesn’t have to be [name]Sailor[/name] forever, and that when you take a step away from it for a little while, you can start again in a few days or a week. As long as you both know this is where it’s at, you don’t have to think of something today or tomorrow and run yourselves ragged. I don’t want you to feel pain. It’s important to attend to the task eventually, but just give it a little space and relax, and then get back to it when you are both in a relaxed state of mind and not at odds or trying to win something.

Please keep us up to date on your efforts, and I promise, we’re a pretty helpful and supportive bunch. Other people are more able than myself to offer piles of solid ideas for names you might like, so keep an eye out for their posts, check out other threads with similar questions or find names you like and follow threads where those names are suggested. Ex: if you search on [name], beneath it are a list of threads where [name] is discussed, where the searched name is highlighted in yellow.

I really wish you luck in realizing the right name for your daughter and changing it if that’s what you and your DH decide together.

22

It sounds like you are looking for a name that is cute, not too popular, trendy but not too trendy, classic but not too old-fashioned. Here are a few more ideas:

[name]Waverly[/name]
[name]Violet[/name]
[name]Summer[/name]/ [name]Autumn[/name]/[name]Winter[/name]
[name]Willow[/name]
[name]Salma[/name]/[name]Sally[/name] (or she could be [name]Sailor[/name], nn [name]Sally[/name] or [name]Salma[/name] nn [name]Sailor[/name])
[name]Cadence[/name]
[name]Savannah[/name]/[name]Savanna[/name]
[name]Scarlett[/name]
[name]Piper[/name]
[name]Natalie[/name]
[name]Allison[/name]
[name]Alyssa[/name]
[name]Zoe[/name] (significantly less popular than [name]Chloe[/name])
[name]Audrey[/name]
[name]Sydney[/name]
[name]Claire[/name]
[name]Brooke[/name]
[name]Melanie[/name]
[name]Serenity[/name]
[name]Annabelle[/name]
[name]Alaina[/name]
[name]Chelsea[/name]
[name]Dakota[/name]
[name]Harmony[/name]
[name]Samara[/name]
[name]Stephanie[/name]

23

I don’t think it’s cursing or setting your child up for horrible teasing by naming her [name]Sailor[/name]. Maybe I have less classic/formal taste in names than some of the posters on here–or than you, I should add (although you did agree to [name]Sailor[/name] at one point)–but [name]Sailor[/name] isn’t any more “out there” to me than [name]Clover[/name] or [name]Archer[/name], [name]Fisher[/name] or even [name]Sayer[/name]. Can I imagine a 60 year old [name]Sailor[/name]? I can: and when I do I picture a very cool woman, but (and again, not sure as to what your daughter’s personality is/will be) with much confidence and individuality–similar to [name]Katherine[/name] Hepburn. I guess the name doesn’t leave much room for being self-conscious, and that is the one problem I have with it.

I know this is more a debate about your dislike of the name than the name itself, but I just wanted to point out that in a few years she might like–and suit–[name]Sailor[/name]. It’s your choice, of course: I’d change her name entirely before I’d change the spelling. [name]Just[/name] my vote. Good luck on your decision and keep us posted on whatever you do.

24

I have to admit that when I do think about changing my daughters name it makes me sad, mostly because this is the name that we gave her at birth and this is the name that she has had over 3 monthes now. I also have to admit that when I am with her it doesn’t matter to me what her name is, it is when I am at work, trying to get to sleep or when I first wake up in the morning that I am sad about her name I don’t know if this means anything or not

25

Let her stay “[name]Sailor[/name]” – but only as your special pet name for her. You won’t be taking [name]Sailor[/name] away from her. You’ll just be giving her another name that she can use as well.

26

You never said what the middle name was - if it’s [name]Chloe[/name] you can definitely just caller that. But it seemed your DH is not on board with that name either…

What about using a nickname/name from [name]Sailor[/name]?

[name]Lola[/name]
[name]Lila[/name]
[name]Lois[/name]
[name]Sally[/name] (so Mad Men)
[name]Lori[/name]
[name]Lisa[/name]
[name]Ali[/name]

There are NO rules! :slight_smile:

27

Sailors middle name is [name]May[/name]. [name]Sailor[/name] [name]May[/name]

28

I noticed that you feel that [name]Chloe[/name] is too popular and that you didn’t want her always to be known as [name]Chloe[/name] S.

I grew up in the age when Carolines were the flavour of the month (I am a [name]Caroline[/name]). I had two other Carolines/Carols in my class at school and it didn’t bother me.

Since leaving school I have seldom heard of a [name]Caroline[/name], I am glad to see that [name]Caroline[/name] is being shown a lot of love again, but my point is that the school years are short and when your daughter leaves school she will not find [name]Chloe[/name]'s or [name]Ava[/name]'s everywhere and it will not be a problem.

I think there is something nice in having a name that is well accepted by the community in general.

I knew of someone called Egills once and that is the kind of name you would never want to give a child.

I would be more worried about whether I liked the nn for the name you choose seeing as that will be what the child’s friends will call her.

I agree with the other posters “[name]Sailor[/name]” is a very cute nn (and if you are yachtspeople then it would fit perfectly). I would prefer to have a more formal name.

If however, you can honestly say that you are happy with [name]Sailor[/name] then let it be. I know of a little girl named [name]Teal[/name] and while it is unusual it is still a pleasant name as is [name]Sailor[/name], (I do however like girls names to be obviously girls names, not unisex.)

I would prefer to be named [name]Sailor[/name] over [name]Hermione[/name] or [name]Elspeth[/name] or [name]Penelope[/name] or [name]Margaret[/name], [name]Lilith[/name] or [name]Millicent[/name], [name]Agnes[/name] or [name]Emma[/name] or even [name]Carol[/name].

PS I would not change the spelling of [name]Sailor[/name] either and in our family the young ones have names that would never have crossed people’s minds 20 years ago, eg [name]Cruz[/name]. [name]Just[/name] on the light side for a minute if you have a son in the future don’t call him [name]Cruz[/name]. [name]Cruz[/name] and [name]Sailor[/name] that is cheesy. And that is another point what style of name would you be looking for if you have more children and would you be able to find a name that goes with [name]Sailor[/name] that you like?

29

I think the name [name]Sailor[/name] is adorable and fitting since she is named after the place where you and your husband met. Names are changing and twenty years ago, [name]Sailor[/name] would have stood out like a sore thumb, but in today’s anything goes for baby names, [name]Sailor[/name] will fit right in.

If [name]Sailor[/name] doesn’t like her name when she gets older, she can go by her middle name [name]May[/name] or even [name]Maisie[/name], but if you don’t love it, then you should go ahead and change it.

Good luck!

30

I grew up with a very different name…that became a car name after about 10 years of my life. I was teased. But it was my name. I liked it. And I like it still. [name]Do[/name] I wish I was a [name]Katie[/name]? No. It HELPED sculpt me into who I am today. The teasing—which will hit every child anywhere, no matter the name—gave me thick skin and a resilience that helped me survive other, more serious situations.
(For the record, my friend [name]Alison[/name] was teased as a child too. So was my friend [name]Amanda[/name].)

Now in my place of business, I see some very unique names. Successful, happy people named Brinton, [name]Starla[/name], [name]Hadley[/name] and Tippy.

I love the name [name]Sailor[/name]. (I do, however, like all things nautical) I think it is beautiful, easy to say/spell for most of us. It’s unique, but not unseen ([name]Christie[/name] Brinkley has a teenage daughter, [name]Sailor[/name]). I guess I just don’t understand why people put SO MUCH stock into what others have to say. Take their advice, but make your own decisions. Your friends and family aren’t the ones that should be naming your children. I still thrive on the principal that if I do not have anything nice to say, then I really shouldn’t say anything at all. People ought to be reminded.

Good luck!

31

The more I ‘hear’ [name]Sailor[/name] the more I like it. I also endorse the rule of the above poster, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything if the child is already named.

32

I think it is a unique choice, but if you are not happy with it you should change it. I like the idea of making [name]Sailor[/name] the middle or nicknaming her [name]Sailor[/name]. I also wouldn’t change the spelling.

[name]Aveline[/name] [name]Sailor[/name] /[name]Avalon[/name] [name]Sailor[/name]

other suggestions
[name]Ada[/name]
[name]Cleo[/name]
[name]Ida[/name]
[name]Iva[/name]

33

I like different names. My daughter is 30 and her name is [name]Starr[/name]. Some people gave her a hard time and some always ask if her parents were hippies. I chose it because I wanted a name that exuded confidence and a strong personality. I also didn’t want her to end up with some nickname. She has always liked her name because it is different. She says that no one forgets her after meeting her. Exactly what I wanted.
If the name is only bothering you when you are at work or going to sleep, is it because of what someone has said about the name? I didn’t pay any attention to it. If you feel so strongly about changing it, maybe you could just add another name to [name]Sailor[/name] [name]May[/name]. That is if you can agree on one. It took my husband and I forever to choose my son’s name. It wasn’t my first choice but it is a good name for him and we agreed on it.

34

I love [name]Sailor[/name], but if you wanted to just use it as a middle name you can chose something else for her first name. I hope my name: [name]JENNIFER[/name] never goes out of style! LOL

35

Honestly, I dont like the name [name]Sailor[/name]. But [name]Ava[/name] is one of my favorite names, and [name]Chloe[/name] is pretty, too.

You could change her name to [name]Ava[/name] [name]Sailor[/name], or [name]Chloe[/name] [name]Sailer[/name]. Let your husband pick either [name]Ava[/name] or [name]Chloe[/name] though, since hes doing something super nice for you :slight_smile:
Shes only 3 months old so it wont be that big of a deal if her name is changed.
If your husband truly feels he cant call her anything but [name]Sailor[/name], just let him called her [name]Sailer[/name] as a nickname or something.

36

I’m still at odds on what to do about my daughters name. I go back and forth. If I do decide to rename my daughter I wonder what I have to do to change her name here in the US?

37

Did you pick a middle name for [name]Sailor[/name]? If so, you can call her by her middle name and hubby can call her [name]Sailor[/name]. Personally, I like the name [name]Sailor[/name] :slight_smile:

38

When I changed my name, I did it free of charge. I got a book called “[name]How[/name] to Change Your Name”. You have to change your name on your social security card. That’s the main thing. You have to go to a Notary with two witnesses and have them sign a paper. See if you can get the book on Amazon.

39

Going by what [name]Susan[/name] said it is not a difficult or expensive exercise to change one’s name, so the thing you have to do now is decide on a name you really love, hang the well meaning relatives and friends and their unhelpful advice or criticism, just go with your gut feeling.

[name]Ava[/name] is my most favourite name, and [name]Chloe[/name] is my adorable granddaughter so if you picked either of those I would be ecstatic.

Otherwise as I said before [name]Sailor[/name] is a nice name, I can see the appeal now that it has had time to sink in. Good luck

Let us know how you are going.

40

[name]Jillian[/name]'s mom here! I went through the WORST feelings of namer’s remorse when my daughter was about 3 months old so my heart goes out to you! It’s not fun, sending you loads of hugs!

I think [name]Sailor[/name] is a fun and unique name. I also like that she won’t be one of 5 girls in her class in school with the same name and it has a cool, not overly girlie sound to it. It will also be a wonderful story to tell her about how you chose her name and the significance it has.

If you do decide to change her name, I would at least keep [name]Sailor[/name] as her middle name. It’s a really neat name, you did like it at one point, and you’d hate for you, your husband or her to one day feel like you/he/she wishes you never changed it!

I know how it stings when other people don’t react nicely about her name. You don’t want anyone to dislike anything about your child, and feel so bad since her name is something you chose. In reality though, even if you renamed her a more common name, there isn’t a name out there everyone likes and I personally think it’s better she has a name you and your husband like and that has significance than to chose a common name just because it seems “safe”.

Also, as much thought as we put into baby names, it is more the person who makes a name, and not vice versa. While there’s no shame in changing her name if you decide to go that route, if you don’t, you’ll likely find [name]Sailor[/name] will make you love her name. Since she has parents fun, creative and spirited enough to put so much thought into her name, and choose such a unique name, I’m sure [name]Sailor[/name] is going to grow up to be a fun and super cool kid, which will make you and everyone who comes in contact with her like her name even more.

I found after a while my daughter’s name just started to suit her. Most names seem a little awkward for a tiny baby. As she started smiling, laughing, and really becoming a little person, I (and everyone else!) had more stuff to focus on and her name became more a part of her and less of a big deal.

Things will get better and your daughter will continue to bring you so much more joy and happiness no matter what you decide to do about her name!!!