Hi Everyone,
I love the name [name_f]Indira[/name_f], but I am very very white and my spouse is very very white.
Is there any way to respectfully borrow a name from a culture you have no connection to? I want to be incredibly respectful and I would never want to do something that would bother or offend anyone, but it also hurts that I might have to let go of a name I love (I’m so very picky) so I’m really hoping you guys will have some insight to help me.
Thanks for your kind words of advice
Eh if it were me I probably wouldn’t use it. It’s a nice name but there are many others you could use instead. I would suggest Ida, Ina, or Isadora.
Does the name [name_f]Indira[/name_f] have a very specific significance in [name_f]Indian[/name_f] culture? (I don’t know, so I’m asking.)
If there’s a specific sensitive reference, then probably better not to go for it.
However, if it’s just a name that is used in another culture that is clearly not your own, I don’t see a problem with it - it’s quite complimentary!
If you love it I’d say go for it. It would be different if it was a name that was tied really closely to say the religion or traditions of another culture but if it’s a name that’s simply commonly used in another culture then I think it’s fine.
For example, I know someone called [name_f]Priya[/name_f] who has a very white background- [name_f]Priya[/name_f] herself has ginger curly hair- and I’ve never thought of it as disrespectful.
I’d say go for it, unless there’s any religious or cultural significance, which as far as I know there isn’t.
I agree with @flamingo. Many people have names from cultures that aren’t technically part of their ethnic background. As long as it’s not significant for a particular reason in that culture I would think it’s ok. But it is good to get other people’s opinion from that culture for sure.
If you end up not using it perhaps you would like [name_f]Idina[/name_f]?
I gotta agree with everyone above. It’s a beautiful name and nowadays a lot of people have names from different cultures. Also, out of my personal experience: I know two Indiras, one [name_m]German[/name_m] and the other one Serbian, and neither of them was ever judged for it, so go for it!
My only associations with Indira are Indira Gandhi and Indira Varma, so it does seem very Indian to me. I think it’s a beautiful name. I’m not Indian so I can’t comment on whether it would be disrespectful or not for you to use it.
I personally am not bothered at all by the idea of people of other ethnicities/nationalities using names from my culture, but that’s just my own personal opinion and I’m sure there are people who feel differently.
Growing up I knew white girls with Arabic names like Yasmin and Ayesha (these girls were not Muslim, by the way). I never thought it was strange at the time, but I was a child back then so had no knowledge of the religious or cultural origin of those names. Nobody said anything negative about their names to my memory.
If you’re unsure about Indira, there are similar names like Indara and Inara, which don’t seem to be strongly tied to any particular culture.
I’m obviously not speaking for everyone, but I find that most people don’t hesitate in using names like [name_f]Saoirse[/name_f], [name_f]Athena[/name_f], [name_f]Liesel[/name_f], and so many others even though they may not be tied to that culture, so I don’t see what the difference would be, since others have said there aren’t really any bad associations.
It really depends on the culture. I think it’s okay racially (an [name_u]French[/name_u] name on an American girl, etc.) but I don’t think this exact name would work. For example, it wouldn’t be proper for me to name my [name_f]Indian[/name_f] son a Swahili name, unless the name was also commonly used in [name_f]India[/name_f].
Honestly, in the end, it’s your choice, and nobody else really gets a say in it. This is my personal feeling, but it’s a beautiful name, and if you do choose to use it, I’m very happy for you.
I feel like there is a difference if you are a white person living in the US, [name_f]Canada[/name_f], UK (this is where I’m more familiar with) using a name that traditionally belongs to a non-white culture. It feels the same as cultural appropriation to me just taking something because it’s pretty without having any connection to it, meanwhile little white [name_f]Indira[/name_f] is treated differently from little [name_f]Indian[/name_f]-American [name_f]Indira[/name_f]. [name_f]Indian[/name_f]-American [name_f]Indira[/name_f] is racially profiled, told her name is “exotic” or “hard to pronounce” but when it’s a white girl with that name it’s “unique” and cool. At least in the US Irish-American [name_f]Saoirse[/name_f] isn’t going to be treated significantly different from any other white [name_f]Saoirse[/name_f]. It can be a hard line to draw because there are so many cross-cultural names and lovely names from different cultures but that’s one that I would not use.
Coming back to add, I completely agree with @TeaJay’s statement. I’ve experienced the same before (a white student with a unique name praised for it while teachers refused to make an effort with mine).
Cultural appropriation is definitely an issue with names. Naming your child something that has significance in another culture because it sounds beautiful is a sweet idea but can ultimately cause issues because, as other posters have said, a white person and a person of color with the same name might be treated very differently and names carry histories.
[name_f]Indira[/name_f] specifically isn’t a name I have a say in since I’m not of [name_f]Indian[/name_f] descent!
[name_f]My[/name_f] background is Jewish- Jews come in all shapes, colors, and sizes! But I feel strangely when someone who is not jewish names their child something from the Torah, something Hebrew (although it is true that hebrew does not equal jewish) or something very heavily associated with Judaism, such as [name_f]Hadassah[/name_f], [name_f]Esther[/name_f], [name_f]Shoshanna[/name_f] etc.
I remember reading a post recently about the name [name_u]Dakota[/name_u]- many indigenous people have said that they aren’t comfortable with the name being used by white parents, and understandably so- picking and choosing from a culture while people of that said culture continue to be oppressed is problematic.
Then there are names like [name_f]Dixie[/name_f] and G*psy (which is actually an offensive term to many) which are still around on nameberry but carry heavy negative connotations.
[name_f]Indira[/name_f] is pretty tame compared to these; but still, I feel like if a name might cause any worry it’s best just to be safe and choose a different one.
I think a big difference lies in the fact that [name_f]Saoirse[/name_f], [name_f]Athena[/name_f], and [name_f]Liesel[/name_f] are names of european origin, from countries which haven’t experienced the same amount of colonization and racism as other places (like [name_f]India[/name_f], which was heavily impacted by the colonization.) So while an American with no german heritage naming their child [name_f]Liesel[/name_f] might be strange, I think it’s a different situation when you name your child something that comes from a group of people that have been historically oppressed (not that [name_f]Indira[/name_f] necessarily is, but just talking generally).
I’m not sure I agree with the history you are presenting. [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] was hugely impacted by British colonisation (which some would argue continues to this day, in relation to Northern [name_f]Ireland[/name_f]). Irish Catholics were systematically discriminated against. And Greece was a colonial possession of the Ottoman Empire for hundreds of years.
Of course. I’m Irish and my husband is Kurdish- I’m not denying the plight that other groups have gone through. But it’s not at the same level of, for example, the colonization of [name_f]India[/name_f] or the enslavement of black people in [name_u]America[/name_u].
Today in [name_u]America[/name_u], you do not experience racist comments due to your irishness, which is something you can’t see at first glance- you experience microaggressions and racism due to the color of your skin. Being a person of color puts you at a significant societal disadvantage than being, for example, Irish or [name_m]German[/name_m] or Greek. Colorism- skin color, with whiteness being the eurocentric beauty standard- affects people every day. The fact of the matter is that European countries did, in fact, colonize the Americas, [name_f]Africa[/name_f], and [name_f]Asia[/name_f]. @teajay put it perfectly; an [name_f]Indian[/name_f] girl in a classroom might get treated totally differently than a white girl with the same name; for one person, it’s trendy and for the other it’s bothersome. The point is not that there hasn’t been discrimination amongst Europeans and white people; it’s that the racism people face every day is more than enough reason to avoid names that we aren’t sure of.
Irish and Greek people (at least in the US where I am) do not experience systemic racism or xenophobia and their culture is not seen as unacceptable on them but “cool” when white people not from that culture do it. That’s the issue that I have with it- it would be enough that I wouldn’t choose it even though it’s very pretty.
Good point about Hebrew names. It’s something I’ve thought of less because they’re often framed as “Biblical” names (Names both in the Torah and Old Testament) but it’s something I’ll try to be more aware of.
thank you for engaging in this dialogue with me!! I’m always really grateful to learn from other berries 
Well said. I definitely agree.