Not sharing a surname

[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I have different surnames since I didn’t change mine after we married. We intend to give our baby his last name since its the more traditional thing to do but Im just wondering if anyone has experienced any hassles with their child not sharing a name with them? [name_u]Or[/name_u] has it been no big deal? Im guessing maybe traveling could be an issue… I know I could always change my name if I felt like it.

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Me & my mom have different surnames & it’s not a big deal :slight_smile:

my brother has a hyphened last name & he says it’s annoying – It never fits on anything.

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I would imagine it wouldn’t be a huge issue these days. On her birth certificate and other documents, you will be listed as the child’s parent. That should get you through any issues that may arise.

For what it’s worth, I haven’t had the same surname as my mother for about 25 years. We’d get occasional questions about it (divorce and remarriage wasn’t common in their social circle back then) but it was usually just a teacher or someone calling my mom “Mrs. namergirl’s (then) surname.”

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I grew up with someone whose mom didn’t change her name at marriage. When they introduced themselves for the first time or two they surprised people, but had no issues after that. Never heard about any other issues.

My SIL didn’t change her name upon marriage as all of her professional licenses would have been a hassle to change and she and her sister are the last in their line. My nephews hold my brother’s last name. We’ve talked occasionally about it, but they have no issues. When they were debating about it, I happened to be visiting and came up for a solution that has worked well since. She legally and professionally goes by her maiden name, and the school and everyone around them have no issues with it, but when addressing them as the family unit (i.e. an invitation, esp. a formal invitation) they go by my brother’s last name, The _____ Family. Between his FN, her LN and the youngest boy’s name, there would be no room on the envelope.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] name is different from my children’s and we’ve had no issues. I think it’s becoming increasingly common. On the long form birth certificate (in [name_f]Canada[/name_f] anyway), there is a place for the parents to be listed, so that might be useful. We haven’t traveled but we did fly within our country and we had the birth certificate with us, and there were no hassles.

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I’m in the same situation. I never changed my last name when we got married and I don’t really want to. Our kids have my husband’s last name. I haven’t had any problems with it but then they’re only 2 so we haven’t done a lot of traveling or school things with them yet.
I honestly don’t see why it would be a problem though.

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Good to know its not a big deal. Yeah we are definitely not doing a hyphenated name :wink:

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Yeah the issue of introductions is something I already deal with. Mostly I just say our first names. [name_u]Or[/name_u] let whoever it is assume whichever name they want, if they know his last thats fine or my last also ok. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband doesn’t mind either. Most people send letters as Me and Him Hislastname. I would only correct people if it was necessary or I knew they’d prefer to know. Most of the time its not very relevant!

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Oh yeah US birth certificates definitely have a spot for parent names so I can always use that as long as I don’t decide to change it! Haha the legal paperwork rabbit hole…

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I have the same last name as my kids and I still had an issue traveling. The first time I took my oldest to Mexico when she was 2 years old, I was questioned where her mother was. This was after we had gotten married, and both our passports had the same last name. The issue was that I’m blonde with blue eyes and my daughter has dark brown, almost black hair and brown eyes. We also were traveling without her father. The next time I went to Mexico with both my girls I had a notarized letter from their father and copies of their birth certificates, but I didn’t need them.

[name_f]My[/name_f] husband has an extra last name than the rest of us, because I only took his paternal last name when we got married. On all his official documents, he uses both last names, but casually he doesn’t mind being called by just the paternal last name.

As far as schools go, having a different last name than your kids should not be a problem at all. Where I live, there are so many kids who have both parents’ last names (majority of them being Hispanic), lots of kids have only dad’s last name, and some kids have only mom’s last name. There are even some where the whole family shares one last name. So many families don’t legally get married before having kids, so they have different last names.

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I was born before my parents got married, so I took my dad’s name and my mum still had her maiden name. The only issue we had was when I was about 2 we went to the US to visit friends and the guy checking passports wouldn’t believe that my mum was my mum because we didn’t have the same surname. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents sat there and explained the situation to the guy for like 5 minutes before he eventually said something like “that’s not how we do things here in America” :woman_facepalming:t3: I think that says more about [name_u]America[/name_u] than anything :joy: other than that no one cared (at least no one with a brain cell :wink: ) I think it’s much more common now than it was in the nineties so I doubt you’d have much issue unless you were visiting a particularly conservative place

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I have a different last name to my son. I registered my last name as his on his birth certificate, however my last name isn’t as nice and did not sound as good with his first name as his dad’s does. When my son was three and his dad (and his dad’s whole family) had shown they wanted to be in his life consistently, I changed it by deed poll to the better sounding fit.

I’ve been in a household where, as a blended family, we had four different last names on the go, and it didn’t give us any problems. We didn’t try to travel abroad, mind you :rofl:

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[name_f]My[/name_f] parent’s don’t share a surname and it hasn’t been a massive problem. People have assumed that my parents are divorced, or one is my step parent, but it isn’t exactly a challenge to explain. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents nearly gave me my mum’s surname as it is easier to spell, but the woman who was registering my birth started asking my dad lots of questions about who the ‘real’ father was, so they used his surname instead.

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Yikes how creepy to have such a hard time even when you have passports! I guess everyone needs a lot of documentation when traveling!

Yes I live in a conservative part of the US and I would say it’s rather uncommon for a woman not to take her husband’s surname. I actually don’t know anyone else! Maybe a few doctors? Its definitely not uncommon for parents to not be married and I doubt it was uncommon in the 90s :joy: Im getting that this could cause some traveling issues but I might have those issues even with the same name so carry all the documentation!!

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Yeah I sort of prefer the sound of my surname but Im not considering it for my child since it would be very unusual to not give the fathers last name especially since we are married. I really only kept my name because I was so used to it and because I dislike paperwork :joy: Im not really worried about what others might assume, if they want to ask I’ll explain.

I kept my surname and we hyphenated our surnames for Léo’s surname so I partially share a surname with my kid, but not fully, and so far I have not had any issues at all (but again since mine is in there not sure if it’s quite the same as you’re asking, sorry). I did make a point of clarifying what the baby’s surname is with people we’re close to right in the beginning.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] mom kept her maiden name, while my sisters and I have our dad’s last name, and it’s never been a problem for us. Yes, she’ll sometimes have to deal with people calling for “Mrs. X” (which is a bigger deal because she should actually be called Dr. Y but that’s beside the issue here) but it’s either a simple correction or she can say, with full honesty, that there is no “Mrs. X” that lives here and hang up. We’ve traveled alone with her many times and it’s never been an issue. (I will add that we are a white family who always had suburban addresses so there may be some privilege involved there). I intend to keep my maiden name and will probably hyphenate my kids’ last names.

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Nope. That said more about that guy than about [name_u]America[/name_u].

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my mum kept her surname just because she didn’t like my dad’s. i can’t think of a time when it’s been a problem, just the odd letter addressed to mr & mrs surname. she’s never traveled alone with me/my sister though, so i don’t know whether or not that would’ve been an issue.

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