Alright, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think this disscussion is warrented.
Let’s talk about name critique! We’ll call it the ‘Question of the Weekend.’
Now, we are NOT and I repeat NOT here to call our name-sisters out, as, let’s face it, they’re the only ones who understand the obsession, no, we are here to discuss how the community at large can improve itself here on the name boards.
[name]How[/name] many of you have posted your name list? [name]How[/name] many of you are terrified? Not because there is any thing wrong with your names, you aren’t spelling [name]Kate[/name], Kaaitteey, you don’t want twins named Blubber and Flubber, in fact you’ve seen many people rave about the names right there on your list! Right? But you’re terrified because you’ve seen those same ravers turn.
Now, on NB, we pretty much have a no Kre8tiv and no yooneek policy; in fact we made up names for these categories, ironic, no? You can rest assured that if you name a baby Pineleopeey we will not like it, so don’t post your list if our ‘it’s not unique only spelled wrong’ arguments have fallen on deaf ears; it’s your baby, don’t care what we think- if we ever teach your daughter we will dilegently spell out P-I-N-E-L-E-O-P-E-E-Y and cringe evertime. However, Nameberry as a whole is too swift when it comes to categorizing.
If someone has never heard/seen a name before: I have witnessed someone saying, “That’s not even a name!” Yes, yes it is. [name]Just[/name] because you haven’t seen it, heard it, or have only ever seen the ‘anglicized’ version of the name does not mean it is illegitimate. As all the [name]Scarlette[/name]'s, [name]Rose[/name]'s, [name]Wren[/name]'s, [name]Ireland[/name]'s, [name]Raine[/name]'s, and [name]Gem[/name]'s of the world have taught us- it’s a name, even if it’s not a “name.” NB, it’s time to accept that fact, let’s all make an awareness pact to not de-validate someone’s love for a non-name-name just because you’ve never heard it/you don’t like it. It’s just not fair, and it’s against [name]Pam[/name] and [name]Linda[/name]'s teachings.
If you don’t want it for your child: Here is a rule of thumb I try and practice, now I am by no means perfect, but I do try and go foreward with this mantra, “[name]Just[/name] because I would never name my child that, doesn’t mean it’s not a great name for you and your baby!” [name]Case[/name] in point: [name]Cosima[/name], I don’t particularly like it, I wouldn’t use it on my baby, but it’s a great name for all the baby [name]Cosima[/name]'s rocketing to [name]Earth[/name]! Now really consider if you are guilty of this name-sin.
I don’t understand: No, you may not get why that name is on the list, but the mother does, she also knows why that spelling it the way it is and why she picked [name]Jemima[/name] over [name]Jemma[/name]. So don’t suggest names unless asked specifically. Also, don’t dis-include names unless specifically asked. Same with nn’s the mother probably likes both [name]Josephine[/name] and [name]Josie[/name]. She’ll probably use them both equally, we’re name lovers, it’s what we do, and who we are. Tred carefully when you are at a loss, because the mother is not baffled and the meaning that name holds, the reason she chose that name, carries more weight than one thousand opinions.
If you’re sheltered: NB is an elite site; we do not settle for common trends…or do we? Yes, NB, we do. However ours are not the trends of the hour, they are the trends of NB and ‘elite’ is becoming a bit more snobbish everday. Think about it, in a year or two it could get really bad. Only the [name]Ivy[/name]'s, the [name]Adelaide[/name]'s, the [name]Sophia[/name]'s and the [name]Eliza[/name]'s will be ‘acceptable’ all others won’t be unanimous enough to matter, therefore not elite, therefore, “Not on NB, you don’t!”
The curt answers: I know that I am guilty, guilty, guiltly here- watch. following list is made up
Here, let me sum it up for you in one word, ouch! This kind of critiquing really says, “I just went by the thirty-or-so names worthy enough to be on my list, and since I don’t like [name]Arthur[/name], you can’t name your baby that.” [name]Just[/name] a bit presumptous, but we all do it! If you don’t have time, don’t comment and commit the crime. If I really thought it through I would realize that when baby [name]Arthur[/name] is born no one will be thinking of the king, the child’s cartoon, or anything else but how wonderful the baby is! If I really sat down and processed [name]Arthur[/name], refusing to let his name (yes, his name, if the mommy-to-be likes it, she likes it enough to consider who [name]Arthur[/name] will be, chew on that) go through my own ‘what I would name a baby’ filters and I considered the following:
[name]Arthur[/name] is a strong name, it has great connotations, which I’m sure are inspiring the mother in some way, may it be a handsome and adoring grandfather, or the [name]King[/name] of the round table. Some people may not like the name because it is old, but all things old become new again and again. This name is not going to hold him back because (now NB this is a cardinal sin right here) baby [name]Arthur[/name] is more than his name!
added after a further discussion on the thread I suppose I reason I hate ‘bleh’ so very, very much is not because of it’s rude-o-meter, which I count very high, but because it is so not NB! [name]Pam[/name] and [name]Linda[/name] did not write there books using ‘bleh’ as their curve for whether a name was good/bad/gray, and we shouldn’t either. That name has a face, that face has a mother, and if you really want your thoughts considered about that name, then say something that the mother can take in stride and use to improve what may really be a ‘bleh’ worthy (but only in your thoughts!) name. Let’s not let our standards slip. Could we all agree on that reason to strike ‘bleh’ and all’s it’s friends from our vocabulary?
That name has a face: [name]Arthur[/name] is not an ardvark; [name]Maisie[/name] is not a mouse; [name]Phillip[/name] is not a screwdriver; [name]Ireland[/name] is not a country. They are all names, and all of those names have a face. [name]Evangeline[/name] has a personality, [name]Golda[/name] has interests, [name]Joseph[/name] has a very favorite sport, and yes, [name]Kaylynn[/name] has friends and a family who loves her and her name. I hope I don’t have to say much more, I hope this resonates.
Someone loves that name: You don’t, she does; baby will be more than the name’s connotations whirling about in your mind, baby will grow and people will come to accept her, whether she is an [name]Iris[/name], Tigerlily, [name]Rose[/name], [name]Wisteria[/name], [name]Dahlia[/name] or [name]Daisy[/name]. Yes, someone like’s a spelling different than you do, you’re still going to say scar-lit, whether it is spelled [name]Scarlette[/name]/[name]Scarlett[/name]/[name]Scarlet[/name]. [name]Just[/name] because you like it your way doesn’t mean it’s the right way- that mother could turn those same tables on you. The number one thing to remember is- you don’t really matter in the grand sceme of naming another’s child. Does it go against our community’s foundings? Absolutaly! Is it true? Yes.
Okay, if your feathers are ruffled don’t comment, grab some coffee, your favorite name book and chew on this. I don’t claim to be an expert, that’s [name]Pam[/name] and [name]Linda[/name]'s job; I don’t believe myself to be the model you should all aspire to. However, I have been purposely observing people critiquing others lists for the past couple months, making notes, chewing things over myself; I even posted my own list (it was so hard!) just to solidify my reasoning. This is not a rant, I’ve been writing this post for a while. I’m not targeting anyone, I just think that along with the fabulous new web-format (thanks [name]Pam[/name] and [name]Linda[/name]!) we should all pitch in to redesign our message boards!
If you really feel like calling me out over this, please do it privatly, I, along with everyone else, enjoy our un-catty message boards.
Blessings to you all,