Older mums of big families?

Momberries
#1

Let me tell you I don’t feel old at all, but I’m starting my family in 30s and I really want a big brood. I’m sure it will change after I’ve had one or 2 (or so people tell me) but right now I’d be happy with 6! I didn’t even think about kids till I was 29, no one around me was having them, but the baby fever kicked in at 30 and it’s been non-stop ever since.

Best case scenario I’ll be 32 when #1 is born. Are there any mum’s out there who’ve had 3+ after 32 who wouldn’t mind sharing their experience?

#2

Following!

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#3

[name_f]My[/name_f] MIL had her first at 27 and had nine (last one when she was 43). If your body is up to it, I’d say it’s perfectly possible. Good luck - I hope you can have the family you want! :blush:

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#4

I had my first at 29, my second at 30, and my third at 32 (almost 33). I’m 34 and am hoping for one more. I don’t know if that’s what you’re looking for. If there’s anything specific you want to know, I can try and answer it.

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#5

Yes! [name_m]Just[/name_m] success stories :slight_smile:

#6

Success stories, sure! I consider myself to have been very lucky where the kids are concerned. Conceived right away, one very early miscarriage but no other pregnancy complications, deliveries were all very different but overall no issues there either. With each birth I feel I have healed faster and found my bearings quicker than the previous time. I have mental health issues so that’s always a challenge, but that’s not age-related, and I’ve had success taking approved medications during the pregnancies, so that’s an option should you find yourself in a similar situation. I didn’t know it was an option until my second baby… what else? You aren’t considered “advanced maternal age” from my understanding until 35 and even then women are having successful pregnancies into their 40s now, so if you take care of yourself and have good prenatal care, starting a family at 32 doesn’t need to be a big deal. SO many people are having children later now than they were a few generations ago. [name_m]Just[/name_m] remember that your health and mental health need to be priority or you won’t be able to give your child your best. I try to remember that with every pregnancy.

As for a big family, four is my limit, lol. But it’s been something I questioned every step of the way (can I handle another one and still give my children my best). So you’ll only be able to judge that once you’re into it and who knows, six may be fine for you and you might find a rhythm and be able to juggle them all. Everyone and every family situation is different. I found going from one to two harder than two to three and I’ve heard three to four is easier as well, so it might be fine. Also, birth-wise, the first was the longest, they all got shorter (and easier recovery) with each birth.

Good luck to you! And if there’s anything else I didn’t mention, feel free to reach out!

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#7

I am 33 and was hoping to start a family this year, but with covid ny wedding has been postponed a year and so we plan to start next year. We would like 4 and with twins in the family it could happen.

I wouldnt worry about your age, im a believer in fate and if yiur neabt to have 6 babues, i am sure yiu will. Xx

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#8

Our wedding and conception plans were also postponed due to covid! I’m in my final year of my qualifying degree and we were already trying before I popped home for a short trip, now we’re stuck in different countries :weary: (Aus & NZ)

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#9

Oh i am so sorry! What a disaster! Nect year will be so much sweeter for our wait xx

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#10

My mom had my little sibling at 44 and had an amazing healthy baby

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#11

Thank you for this! It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job creating your family.

I’m pretty healthy, vegetarian, BMI of 21. Got carded yesterday buying wine and the guy in the shop said “whatever you’re doing it’s working” :joy: I might be a little prone to anxiety/depression but I’m a resident psychologist so I have lots of awareness and supports available.

I feel really excited to carry a child and give birth, it just feels so far away as I’ve never done it before. Praying for no unexpected fertility/health issues! But at least we have IVF these days and that increases the chance of twins etc.

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#12

That’s amazing that you got carded! Good for you, definitely keep doing what you’re doing!

Pregnancy and childbirth is incredibly exciting. There’s so much anticipation for each milestone. I’m looking forward to doing it one last time, it’s a bit bittersweet. Having my three children has definitely been so many experiences I’m grateful to have had and I hope you get to experience them too. It sounds like you’re in a great position to embrace that journey, as soon as you’re ready, and I’m sure you’ll do great! I wouldn’t worry about the age issue as long as you’re healthy and you have good prenatal care and preferably a doctor you trust. That relationship with them is so important. With so many women having children into their 40s, having them in your 30s isn’t really “old” anymore. As you said, there are so many options these days to help should you need them. And I didn’t find that due to my age it took a while to conceive, or I had trouble during the pregnancy or birth, so hopefully it will be the same for you!

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#13

I had my three girls in my twenties, and I was 34 and 44 when my sons were born. I enjoyed thee babyhood of my sons as I was more relaxed and experienced. Have your babies. The number you have depends on good health and what you and your husband decide on.

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#14

Following!
I can’t help you from a personal experience, but in my opinion if you’re in good health everything is possible, someone from my family started having kids when she was 40 and had 2 healthy kids. A collegue of mine had her 3 girls in her twenties but a fourth kid when she was 43. I want to have 3 kids before I’m 38 though, want to avoid statistics

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#15

I don’t have have any personal experience with this (though we just started our own little family at 30, so maybe that counts as experience :woman_shrugging:) however my mother comes from a family of 12 and my dad from a family of 11. Though they both started having kids in their 20’s both grandmas had children well into their 40’s (in fact my youngest aunt is around 8 months older then my oldest sister) and all my aunts and uncle were born healthy. Both grandma’s lived healthy lives well into their 80’s. And my MIL didn’t start her family until she 35 and had 3 healthy kids. So it’s definitely doable

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#16

Hmmm I feel I’m still hopefully in the middle of this baby having journey. But so far my story is I was married at 29. [name_u]Baby[/name_u] #1 @ 30. [name_u]Baby[/name_u] #2 @ 32 (1&2 were 18 months apart). [name_u]Baby[/name_u] #3 2 weeks ago at 34.

Ideally, I’m hoping for at least 1 more possibly 2. Husband and I want kids but we don’t necessarily have a number in mind more a mindset we don’t want more then we can mentally have the ability to invest fully
In each child. [name_m]Prior[/name_m] to kids we decided on 5-7. Now that we have kids we do see their personalities are ones that very much demand a lot of attention.- so 7 is definitely offf the table for both of us. I’m a little apprehensive about 6… that would really have to be Gods doing. I like the idea of adopting one. [name_m]Hence[/name_m] why I’m lost at the moment on maybe one but maybe two more births we’ll see how it all unfolds. But definitely doable.

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#17

My sister in law had her first at 38 and is pregnant again on the cusp of 40, zero complications, no stay in the nursery.

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#18

@YumyanHammerpaw that’s so great! I love stories like this.

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#19

I don’t think this hits the mark on what you’re looking for, but I know a woman who is pregnant now at 45, and has a son in her 20’s. as far As I know she’s happy and healthy! my mom has 4 kids and had her last baby around 35. I’ve heard that in some areas like San [name_m]Francisco[/name_m], it’s hard to find a woman who has even started having kids before the age of 30 or 35. there are plenty of success stories, truly it’s quite normal now! best of luck to you!

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#20

So true! I lived in [name_m]Melbourne[/name_m] for 8 years which has a similar vibe to SF. Literally NO ONE was having babies or even thinking about it. Then I moved a couple of times and eventually found myself at home (in NZ) due to covid. Suddenly I feel very behind!

My current plan/dream is…

One by 32
Two by 34
break
Three by 38 (or twins would be great)
If no twins then… [name_u]Four[/name_u] by 40

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