Our family of 3 will be a family of 6!

i-love-babies · October 17, 2009, 5:38pm

Alll those names are very pretty

dotsmom · October 17, 2009, 6:51pm

First off… I [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Henry[/name]. [name]LOVE[/name] him!! It was almost one of those instantaneous loves that you have when you first hold your baby. I couldn’t believe I had this reaction, I really wanted to (to tell you the truth, I was a little scared that I wouldn’t) but it was so amazing meeting him. He melted into my arms when we met!

This morning one of our dogs was barking at the cabinet in the kitchen. [name]Non[/name] stop. [name]Dottie[/name] went in there to see what he was barking at. I hear a scream. I go in there… Dog still barking… I open the cabinet, out runs a mouse. I jump, scream, pull my back and we somehow run out of the room. At this point I can hardly move. I have never felt so paralyzed. We took a nap and thank goodness my husband and [name]Henry[/name] came home! [name]Dottie[/name] was so excited to tell her dad all about it and the boys got to “take care” of the girls by searching for mice. lol. So our first day with [name]Henry[/name] was 4 dogs barking nonstop, 1 cat, 2 boys all searching for mice, me unable to move and a little girl telling her dad not to hurt them.

Now both of my babies are asleep ( ) I can still barely move, but my husband is finally home. Life’s good.

dotsmom · October 17, 2009, 6:54pm

No, we are nowhere hear LA at all. We have talked about therapy, but I think we want to see how he is adjusting first. I think we think he may think something is wrong with him if we take him somewhere like that.

dotsmom · October 17, 2009, 7:01pm

susan:

If you need any help in your busy household, I have an idea of what to do. Go to a church in your community and ask for help. I would go to an Episcopal Church because I’ve experienced them as being very helpful, and they don’t expect you to do anything in return. It is very likely that some of them will come over and help you. It would be their joy to be of assistance to your family. Or if you go to church, just ask your church for help. A family at my old Episcopal church had quadruplets. A bunch of ladies took turns going to the family’s house every day and helped them and brought food for them. This went on for two or three years because a couple of the quads have major health problems. The parents of the quads looked utterly exhausted at times, and so I think those ladies that helped them are angels.

[name]Susan[/name], I agree. I am usually a very independent person, who hates to ask for help, but I think I am going to need some support. I definitely felt it today when we found a mouse, I was unable to move and I still had to take care of things. I almost broke down, but was in so much pain that I couldn’t. I also remember how little sleep you get with a newborn, and now to think that I will have two newborns, a toddler and a 4 year old who will be needing a lot of support to adjust. Not to mention the dogs who I sometimes feel is also a full time job. I like to think that I can handle what comes at me… but in this case, I better bite my pride and ask for help. :-/

cora · October 17, 2009, 7:06pm

Oh, thank you so much for this update! I’m so happy and relieved that everything is working out so well with you and [name]Henry[/name]! [name]How[/name] wonderful!

A mouse? Ahhhh! Yeah, I’d totally be on top of a table, screaming. (Actually, something like that happened in the basement once, and I think I set a new world record in the 100m dash.)

I love it how [name]Henry[/name] and your husband took care of things.

On the minus side, of course, I’m so sorry you hurt your back, and I hope it heals soon.

I wish you a lifetime of wonderful days with your babies!

dotsmom · October 17, 2009, 7:16pm

danal:

Oh, my husband LOVES [name]Harry[/name] [name]Potter[/name] too (and of course, I’ve read the books)!

You have so MANY things to think about - boy! First of all, let me say that sharing room will probably not be a problem at all. When we moved into this house a few years ago, [name]Jane[/name] was three and [name]Henry[/name] not even two, and [name]Jane[/name] slept in her own room for a year. The next [name]Christmas[/name], she moved in with [name]Henry[/name] (he had a daybed/trundle type bed and had always slept on the floor part). So, for approximately two years, they have slept in the same room every night despite having their own rooms. [name]Jane[/name] only just recently moved back into her own room and that’s because we told her she could stay up a little later (she’s six and doesn’t go to sleep quite as fast as [name]HEnry[/name] which usually leads to her keeping him up a while). She also is allowed to read to herself while she stays up late. BUT, there are still nights she wants to sleep in his room. And here’s why it was good for us – when she was four, she was prone to bad dreams, etc., and waking up with [name]HEnry[/name] there calmed her down and she wouldn’t usually wake us at all. Now that [name]Henry[/name] is four and having bad dreams, it helps to have her there to reassure him. When this baby comes, I won’t be surprised if they go back to sharing some, just because it will be easier for my husband to get them down together. But they are by no means too old to share at 4 and 6, and I think they could share a couple more years at least.

About calling you mom/dad or by your names, boy, that is tough! I would probably offer your names at first and let him decide if he wants to call you mom/dad later on. This is sort of confusing to explain, but my dad died when I was 2 1/2, and my mom married his brother, my uncle, the next year. I don’t think it was very long until I asked him if I could call him Daddy, and I have ever since (my older sisters still call him uncle and it confuses everyone!). [name]Henry[/name] is really young, so I think he will want to call you mom/dad pretty soon – you might want to tell him he has the option. (and of course, he will probably need some counseling after losing his parent, so see what the counselor says - this is not my field, by any means)

See a lawyer about the guardian/adoption issues for sure – I am a lawyer myself, but not that type so I can’t offer any guidance here, except that there will be issues to work out, and I would get to that next year after you all get settled. I forget where you are, but was thinking it was NOT U.S.

If your mom’s stagger their visits, maybe that will be less people in your house – if they don’t mind a couch, I bet the extra help will be worth it, or better yet, if they or you could afford a hotel (maybe one of those weekly chains that are more affordable?), they could come over in the daytime to help, especially if [name]Henry[/name] and [name]Dottie[/name] are at home with you and not in any type of pre-k/daycare program. If my kids weren’t in school, I don’t know how I would handle a new baby and the kids! I can’t imagine two babies and two kids!!!

Best wishes for today, a BIG day!!!

So far, I think the sharing of a bedroom will work. But both kids were so exhausted (apparently [name]Henry[/name] didn’t sleep the entire drive) that they didnt question the bedroom arrangement and fell asleep within 10 minutes. So we will see what happens, but for right now, we really don’t have that many options. I’m glad that it worked out so well for your family!

We went ahead and gave him the “talk” about he can call us whatever he wants… B/K, Dad/Mom, etc. and he just nodded. He didnt call us either. He is still probably trying to figure out for himself what he wants to do.

We are in the US. He and my husband are from [name]Canada[/name]. So we are going to have to work both angles. My husband told me tonight, that he would take care of it figure out all the legalities of everything so it can be one less thing for me to worry about.

I think that both of our moms would probably be ok with sleeping on the couch/air mattress/ fold out. My mom is a trooper. She has sacrifised comfort for us kids many times growing up.

cora · October 17, 2009, 7:26pm

I forgot to write that it was so sweet of your daughter to tell your husband not to hurt the mouse. So cute!

dotsmom · October 17, 2009, 7:41pm

Thanks [name]Jill[/name]! You are always so sweet! I think you and [name]Dottie[/name] would get along beautifully!

cora · October 17, 2009, 7:45pm

Awe, thanks. The same goes for you. I can’t wait to have a little girl, and I hope she’s just like [name]Dottie[/name]!

I was thinking about you and your family today, and I’m sitting here with the biggest smile on my face, so happy that things went so well today.

susan · October 17, 2009, 9:22pm

I am so happy for all of you! It’s great that as soon as [name]Henry[/name] came to his new house his help as a macho guy was needed. I bet that made him feel important and strong. So cute!
Give everybody hugs from all of us.