Our son is 10 weeks old and his name just doesn't feel right. How do you know?

We had an extremely difficult time choosing a name for our second son, who was born 10 weeks ago. We finally settled on a name almost two weeks ago.

If my husband had it his way, he would have named him [name]Sawyer[/name] or [name]Archer[/name]. If I had it my way, I would have named him [name]Wilder[/name] or [name]Oliver[/name]. The name we decided to go with was none of those, and was instead one of our alternates that our 2 year old had been calling him since he was born.

So, here we are almost two weeks since the decision and it just doesn’t feel right. [name]How[/name] long do you wait to see if it fits? It is a name I liked for a long time, it was probably my #3 or #4 choice. It has a very distinct mellow, earthy vibe to it and it just doesn’t seem to fit him. I have been doubting it since the beginning and I told the husband last night that it just “feels forced” I am not sure how else to describe it. He is still [name]Baby[/name] Boy on the birth certificate, so that’s not an issue. [name]Do[/name] I just suck it up and stick with it because we have already told people this is his name?


What is his name? No, I don’t think you should “suck it up” because you already told people his name. 10 weeks isn’t 10 months, and you could always explain that the name just didn’t suit him. It may generate some conversations, but who cares? people will forget about it in no time and you’ll be calling your son a name you love instead of one that feels forced to you. You should love your son’s name because you will be saying it for a loooong time.

Agree, go with what you love. However, maybe none will feel perfect and it will grow with him, it is hard to tell. an you try calling him something else just with your husband or in your head and see if it feels better. no problem changing it now - i have heard of this happening a number of times

Change it…its not finalized

Thanks you guys. His name is [name]Bodhi[/name]. I need to talk with my husband more about it. He is pretty indifferent, and sort of exhausted at the whole search (as am I, honestly) I believe. I tried talking with him a bit about it yesterday but he wasn’t really into having the conversation. There are no names that we each love, that was the original problem, actually. The only names I love are [name]Oliver[/name] and [name]Wilder[/name], and my husband doesn’t like either.

[name]How[/name] long do you wait to see if it fits? When do you know that it really just isn’t right?

ETA: I like the name a lot still, it just doesn’t seem right on him. Does that make sense? To me, it is a super laid back surfer nature loving earthy boy name, which defines my 2 year old perfectly (minus the surfing part LOL) but this guy is super high maintenance and anything but mellow and laid back.

It sounds like your favourites are out then? (if your husband doesn’t like either one). [name]Do[/name] you like [name]Sawyer[/name] or [name]Archer[/name] enough to change the name? I understand that it may be awkward to tell friends and family that you changed his name but I think it is worth it if you are going to regret the choice. Telling people that the name simply didn’t suit him is more than enough of an explanation.

That all being said (just to play devil’s advocate) I sometimes think of a few other names we were considering for my son and wonder whether another name would have been better, but I wouldn’t want to change it only to wish I hadn’t.

The fact that you haven’t named him on any legal documents yet is a bonus.

What is your 2 yr old son’s name? do they match? what is bodhi’s current middle name? have you tried using the nickname: [name]Bo[/name] - does that suit him more? i think [name]Bo[/name] is very cool and has a different vibe than bodhi. Out of the other top runners, [name]Sawyer[/name], [name]Archer[/name], [name]Oliver[/name] and [name]Wilder[/name], do any of them stand out as the most fitting name for your son? if [name]Sawyer[/name] or [name]Archer[/name] seem to work - although neither one was your first choice - at least the name would be one of your DH’s first choices? good luck - it is a hard decision - i think you need to do what feels right in your heart.

I don’t like [name]Sawyer[/name] at all. [name]Archer[/name] is ok. The nickname [name]Archie[/name] is ok. I don’t love them. Admittedly though, I have a bit of baggage about the naming thing. I gave in and let my husband name our first son (I wanted to name him [name]Oliver[/name], but my husband knew the instant he saw him that he was [name]Liam[/name], which were two of our four short list names) and I really wanted more say in this one. I can’t seem to get past the fact that [name]Archer[/name] is his pick and I can see myself being resentful in the future if we went with it.

I’ve called him [name]Bo[/name] too, yes. I use them interchangeably really. I thought for a while that he really looked like an [name]Oliver[/name]/[name]Ollie[/name]. Then my husband announced that he hated it all of a sudden. I also think [name]Wilder[/name]/[name]Wylie[/name] really fits him but he thinks that’s a ridiculous name. But maybe it’s a “grass is always greener” case for me where everything else seems to fit but the one we chose, I’m not sure.

I usually have a different opinion on these threads and wonder if the lack of connection to a name is due to a lack of connection to the baby. Could it be a bit of PDD clouding your thoughts? I don’t want to be presumptive, but it’s a common experience for mothers. I don’t think you should be stuck with a name that you don’t feel suits your child, but maybe give it a few weeks? A high needs newborn doesn’t always equal a high strung child/person. Also, it’s kind of a lot of pressure on someone to perfectly fit a preconceived notion about their name. There are people of all personality types with every name.

[name]Do[/name] you feel any of the other names you have picked fits him better? Maybe have something in mind and some thoughts to back it up before you bring it up to your husband again.

It could be a “grass is always greener” situation (that’s what I was trying to say, probably not very well though). My son is also 10 weeks old and he was going to be [name]Archer[/name] for a while before we changed to another name just before he was born. So I do look at him and wonder whether we should have gone with [name]Archer[/name] (I think maybe that’s normal)? I think some people have a certain name that they know they cannot do without and others (myself included) like a number of names seemingly equally. Having 5 boys would fix that :wink: (kidding).

Have you considered a new name that isn’t on either of your lists? For example [name]Carter[/name] has a similar sound and style as the names you both like, [name]Theodore[/name] is similar as well but more of a classic style. [name]Both[/name] work well with [name]Liam[/name] [name]IMO[/name].

Well if he utterly hates a name I don’t think it’s right to use it. But if you’re not happy with the name then I agree that using it isn’t a great idea. I understand about feeling defeated twice in a row, but at this point it may be more important to agree on something you both like than to focus on who won.

All of your favorites are very similar (-er ending, slightly trendy and modern).
What about something that matches up with [name]Bo[/name] but has the feel you both like—[name]Booker[/name] or [name]Baxter[/name]

My advice is to change his name! When I had my daughter 4 months ago, I named her one name on her birth certificate, but only a few hours later I knew that I had made a mistake. I tried calling her by her name, but most of the time she was just “baby” or “baby girl”. I announced her birth and name to everyone in my family as well as on facebook, and everyone loved her name. But I spent the next two weeks crying about how her name wasn’t right. I ended up changing it, and I am SO happy that I did. I was a little worried about what other people’s reactions would be to her new name, but no one ever said anything negative. The only comments I got were things like “Oh, I thought you named her ____”, and then I’d just explain that we changed her name early on because it didn’t fit her. I also was worried that I wouldn’t like her name once I changed it, but now I can’t imagine her being called any other name.

I think that you and your husband should try to find a name that you both love and think fits him, and not settle on [name]Bodhi[/name] just because you’ve been calling him it for 2 weeks. But most importantly, don’t worry about what anyone else says - he’s YOUR baby!

I would definitely change it! I would try to find s brand new name … Something you both agree on.
[name]How[/name] about …
[name]Myles[/name] or [name]Milo[/name]

I normally try to assure mothers in your situation that this uncertainty will pass with the huge pool of postpartum hormones, but in your case I really sympathize. [name]Bodhi[/name] is a very strong style statement – it’s hippie, earthy, ‘[name]California[/name],’ or potentially religious-- quite different both from [name]Liam[/name] and from what you’ve shared about your family. The fact, too, that no birth cert has been filed is a very helpful bonus.

It seems like [name]Bo[/name] has stuck as a nickname. Your family feels comfortable calling him [name]Bo[/name]. Why not keep [name]Bo[/name] but give him a more formal, surname-style name in the vein of [name]Archer[/name] and [name]Sawyer[/name]?


I think Bowden is ideal. It’s simultaneously relaxed and formal; it matches well with [name]Liam[/name]. (you could also spell it [name]Boden[/name], though I like the W). Is your husband open to [name]Oliver[/name] in the middle? What do you think of Bowden [name]Oliver[/name]?

I love this suggestion! Bowden or [name]Boden[/name] is great and flows much better with [name]Liam[/name]. :slight_smile:

My suggestion is that you ask your family to sit down and discuss this calmly. Include your little [name]Liam[/name] because he is the one who seems to have chosen the name Bohdi, so he might be very confused. Calmly discuss your feelings with your family. It could be that you just want your little one to have the “perfect” name, and it is very difficult for anyone to know what is perfect. Please just don’t overthink the situation because you don’t want to drive a wedge between you and your family. Your little one’s name should be the least of your concerns right now. Concentrate on the family and it will all fall into place. Hugs! :slight_smile:

I like the name suggestion of [name]Boden[/name]. I think Bohdi is way to hippie for my tastes and I would worry about a kid having that name forever…and if you are having second thoughts you probably realize that to some extent as well…

Another vote for [name]Blade[/name]'s suggestion. I don’t think [name]Bodhi[/name] sounds like it suits your baby or your family. It’s definitely not too late to change, and if you stick with a “[name]Bo[/name]”-nicknameable name, it won’t be too big of a stretch to make the switch.