Perfect age gap

What would you say is on your opinion the perfect age gap between two siblings?

2 Likes

[name_f]My[/name_f] three are all 3.5 years apart and that’s perfect for us. [name_f]My[/name_f] middle child is starting preschool this year, so I only need childcare for one. Also I had the older ones out of diapers before having the next one.

2 Likes

I think 2.5 - 3 years is ideal!

1 Like

2.5-3 years. [name_f]My[/name_f] son is now 17mo and I will be thinking of baby 2 when he turns 2. [name_f]My[/name_f] sisters and I have 2.5-3 years between each other (3 of us) and I’d say it has worked perfectly.

2 Likes

I would say anywhere between 1-3 years is good. I have eight siblings (three are adopted) and those of us within that age range didn’t have any issues (oldest brother, next sister was three years younger, I’m two years after her, next sister two years after me). However, the next sibling came six years later and none of us older kids adjusted well to him at all and I know he felt left out a lot (and still does because the other three are 4 and then seven years younger than him). The youngest three I can’t really say, because the two of them that are adopted we got when they were older, but the age difference (two are barely six months apart and the youngest is three years younger) is still good for them I think. I have a lot of cousins too (over twenty between three sets of aunts and uncles) and I’ve observed the same amongst them

Especially if you’re looking at just two, I think no more than 2.5 or 3 years max is the best, and the closer the better. They’ll be going through a lot of the same life stuff close together and are more likely to have a good relationship with a lot more in “common”. It’s also easier on the parents I think two when they are closer in age range so more can be done as a family without someone being left out or feeling too old/young for the activities.

1 Like

i think anywhere from 18 months to 5 years is fine! less than 18 months is probably a bit too close as the mother’s body needs time to recover if nothing else. more than 5 years wouldn’t be a major issue, but it’s unlikely that they’d have a close sibling bond. i don’t think there’s a perfect age gap though, it’s different for every family.

2 Likes

It depends by family. For my family hubby and I like them close together so 18-30 month gaps

1 Like

Either 2 years or 4 years. I would want the first two to be about 2 years apart so they have someone close in age to play with. After that, I would want to wait 4 years before having any more. I personally wouldn’t prefer a 3 year gap, since 3 can be a very difficult age for a lot of kiddos.

1 Like

I’d say anywhere between 1 and 4.5 years is fine, although I think the gap should stay relatively even for a family with more than 2 kids. I have two younger siblings and am barely two years older than my middle sister, but seven years older than my youngest sister, and she’s admitted that she feels left out a lot. I’d say that the “perfect” age gap depends on the family, I’d just advise to keep them even for each child. :slight_smile:

1 Like

If I had had children when I was younger, I would have loved for them to be 2-3 years apart. As I’m going to be having them later than I ever thought I would, I want them in multiples or quick succession.

2 Likes

As far as what will be perfect for the siblings-- there’s no way to know! [name_f]My[/name_f] sister and I are 3 yrs apart and still don’t get along as adults. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is 8 years younger than his sisters and they have always been really close.

As far as planning my own family, I’m 30, my husband is 33 and my daughter is 4 months old. If a couple things work out on the financial side, I’d like to start trying for #2 when she’s between 9 and 12 months old. I want to go through the stages fairly close together.

2 Likes

I think it just depends on a large number of factors: temperament, resources, etc. [name_m]Just[/name_m] because you have children close in age doesn’t mean they’ll be close and just because there is a large age gap doesn’t mean they’ll be distant. In the family I grew up in, the “perfect” age gaps have gotten debunked many times over lol. [name_f]My[/name_f] oldest bio siblings are 18 months apart and are far from close. I’m 6 years younger than my brother and we aren’t close either. I’m okay with my next siblings (around 20 months and 6 years different from me). [name_f]My[/name_f] oldest (step) sibling and the youngest sibling are around 20 years apart and have always been super close.

I’m not having a second child someday just for the sake of my son. That’s a bit silly, imo. We just think, circumstances depending, that trying when he is about 2.5 would work out best. I had a c-section and that was a major surgery. I’ll need another. Practically-speaking, chasing a young toddler around while caring for an infant while recovering wouldn’t be good for any of us. Birth is costly here in the States so we have to be good there too.

So yeah…roughly 3 years sounds good to us. That’s our goal but isn’t solid.

2 Likes

1-3 years so the kids can be close and the adults can get past the stages at once without having to start all over again.

When my parents were planning to have a second child, (I’m the oldest) they knew immediately that they wanted to wait around three years, because my mother and my uncle are three years apart, and getting along wise, it is the smoothest because you are similar enough in age to relate and familiarize with eachother, but also different enough in age to have their own identity and “age range”. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister [name_f]Hannah[/name_f] and I ended up being just over 2 and a half years apart and we get along wonderfully. [name_f]My[/name_f] brother [name_m]Zachary[/name_m] and I are four years apart, and we deal with a lot more struggles due to the fact that we can relate less age and culture wise.

4 years. the previous kid is just old enough with the youngest.

my two cousins (sisters) will be 5 years apart and I can imagine it going well. :slight_smile:

[name_f]My[/name_f] brother and I are just under five years apart - we are close, but I definitely took on a semi-parental role and it’s really only in this last year at ages 18 and 13 that we have had real common interests. We were also close between when he was 5 and I was 10 and when he was 9 and I was 14; it was just in the intermediate period where our developmental stages really diverged that we were more distant. That said we are closer than many other sibling pairs I know who are closer in age, so I do think a large part is temperament and parenting!

Our girls will be almost 4 years apart when #2 is born in [name_u]November[/name_u] (our firstborn will be 4 in February). We knew we wanted to (ideally) space our kids 3-4 years apart. We wanted our daughter to be out of diapers before baby #2, and to be slightly more independent.

While baby #2 isn’t here yet, so I can’t speak to how the girls will get along as they grow up, it’s been really fun seeing how excited our oldest daughter is to have a little sister. She constantly kisses my belly and talks to her little sister and asks lots of questions about the baby. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: And she sort of understands that being pregnant makes me more tired and unable to do certain things.

This. I wish I had the luxury of time for a 2-3 year age gap!

1 Like

i would say two years apart, my sister and i are eighteen months apart and are super close but that’s a little too soon for me personally

I agree with most that 2-3 years is a pretty good gap, IMO. [name_f]My[/name_f] two are 3.5 years apart, but my youngest is still an infant, so I don’t know how they’ll interact when they’re older but my oldest is old enough to understand what’s going on and help some, which is great. And she loves her little sister and loves being a big sister, but 3 is a tough age and adding a baby into the mix has been challenging, for sure. [name_f]My[/name_f] friend had their two girls 5 years apart and they’ve had some issues, but their gap has been fine too. They fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but they also get along just fine sometimes too.