That’s ridiculous. It’s true that you don’t own any name, but it’s sort of unspoken that you don’t use a name someone close to you has already used.
Ironically, one of my best friends had a similar situation… almost exactly like yours. She had four daughters, as did her husband’s brother and his wife. Hers are [name]Anne[/name] [name]Catherine[/name], [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Brooks[/name], [name]Claire[/name] [name]Joanna[/name], and [name]Sarah[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]. Anyway, long story short, her [name]BIL[/name] and [name]SIL[/name] also had four daughters (their first was born a year after my friend’s second daughter) and named them [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Anne[/name], [name]Claire[/name] [name]Brooks[/name] (which is a family name from my friend’s side of the family, so her [name]BIL[/name] and [name]SIL[/name] have NO conncection to that name), [name]Charlotte[/name] [name]Jo[/name], and then the real kicker, they named their fourth daugther [name]Sarah[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]. My friend was FURIOUS, she told her [name]SIL[/name] her feelings after every kid but her [name]SIL[/name] just laughed it off and said it was “cute” that they had matchy names. My friend obviously disagrees.
My friend came up with a great solution: Her daugter [name]Anne[/name] she calls [name]Annie[/name], which is fine since her [name]SIL[/name] doesn’t have an [name]Annie[/name]. Her daughter [name]Katherine[/name] she calls [name]Carrie[/name] since her [name]SIL[/name] calls hers [name]Katherine[/name], for [name]Claire[/name] there wasn’t really anything she could do (though they do call her [name]Coco[/name]), and for [name]Sarah[/name], after two years of calling her [name]Sarah[/name], she decided to have her go by her middle name and they now call her [name]Ellie[/name].
I know this isn’t really a solution but it’ll be okay. That’s extremely insensitive, invasive, and rude of your sister-in-law but for example, if she calls her daughter [name]Clementine[/name] by her full name, maybe you can give your daughter [name]Clementine[/name] a cute nn like [name]Clemmie[/name], [name]Emmy[/name], [name]Cleo[/name], etc. If she ends up naming her daughter [name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Rose[/name], have your daughter go by [name]Bella[/name], [name]Rosie[/name], etc.
Again, I know this doesn’t really solve your problem completely, but if you’ve tried talking to her and had no success, then I’d say give your girls some adorable nicknames to preserve their individuality.
[name]Holden[/name], your friends situation is absurd! I really hope this situation doesn’t escalate that far! These women are completely insane! I can’t even imagine what I would do if this happened to me, i would be beyond livid.
But I must say i really don’t like how your friend handled the situation. She changed what she called her own daughters? Hell no! [name]Do[/name] what [name]Bella[/name] said and keep calling your girls what you’ve been calling them all their lives, and give her daughters a new nickname. Get your whole family in on it and refuse to let the girls be called the same thing. [name]SIL[/name] can try to make you stop, but she won’t succeed if your family backs you up. And it doesn’t matter what she goes by in school and whatnot, to the extended family (you guys) the new baby should be [name]Izzy[/name] or [name]Isa[/name]. I realllllllly hope you don’t call her [name]Bella[/name]!
Wow!
I had a name picked out to use on a future child and I hadn’t told anyone. Then, my s-i-l had a baby and named her that exact name (first, middle, and last). I couldn’t believe it (I mean, what are the chances!). I still haven’t even told them (what’s the point), but I did the RIGHT thing and threw that name out - it belongs to my neice and it suits her. I would never do that to my child or my neice. [name]How[/name] could anyone do that! One name if it were very meaningful - maybe, or a variant, or using a hyphen with another name - but not straight out copying.
I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.
I’m with meryl and cats! [name]How[/name] did it go? Or have you talked to her yet? I’ve been thinking about you! [name]Hope[/name] it went ok if you got the chance to talk.
[name]Gracie[/name], I am so interested to hear how this conversation goes! Y’all have offered some creative suggestions. Depending on the [name]SIL[/name]'s particular brand of crazy, I like Laurann’s idea of making it all about you and your fabulous naming taste, to hopefully dissuade her. Or, if all else fails, [name]Bella[/name]'s idea of uniting the family to give her kids different nns sounds like a good fall-back option (and well-deserved. If those aren’t her preferred nns for her kids, too bad. She should have thought of that before stealing your names!)
I’m still shocked when I hear a story like this… but it seems to happen a lot. A few years ago my friend had a son named [name]Devin[/name], and a couple months after he was born one of her cousins had a son named Clevin! Is that even a name?
I just think people that do it are, for lack of a nicer word, dumb. They have no creativity of their own, so they just hear a name and think “Oh, that’s what I’m naming my kid!”
I think its crazy that thesame name is being used, however on the post above about [name]Devin[/name] and Clevin, ok Clevin sounds made up but what if you loved the name Clevin alot and then suddenly your cousin names their kid [name]Devin[/name]. Should you give up on the name? I dont think so! Only if they were both [name]Devin[/name] id search something else.
I’m sorry this has taken so long, however, unfortunately there is good reason. Before I got the chance to discuss the issue with my [name]SIL[/name], she approached me with a copy of the whole thread on here. Yes, she had been using/browsing nameberry and had clicked on to the fact it was I who was posting. She was absolutely beside herself with rage and as a result, refuses to speak to myself or my husband. My [name]MIL[/name] knew I had been asking for opinions on the topic here and fully supports me in it. I feel awful that she found out how I felt like this but at the same time, I didn’t say anything unduly nasty or false about the situation- it is all true. She told me that she will be using [name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Rose[/name] for her baby and insists it won’t be a problem as she won’t be spending any more time with my children. I was and am hugely upset because I adore my niece and [name]BIL[/name] but I must be honest when I say that this has been a long time coming- as I have mentioned before, [name]SIL[/name] does not get on with much of the family and so as [name]MIL[/name] says, it was only a matter of time.
Initially I didn’t want to come back here and post, for fear of her reading it. However, I truly apprecicate all the advice and support you lovely people have given me and so I will continue to post. I had no idea [name]SIL[/name] knew of the existence of nameberry but as is with the internet, nothing is ever truly private. [name]Nor[/name] did I intend it to be.
I just wanted to update all of you who were so kind to me when I posted
Wow, [name]Gracie[/name], that’s a pretty amazing “end” to the story. And I’m kind of further shocked that after learning your true feelings and reading the outpouring of support for your viewpoint, your [name]SIL[/name]‘s reaction is to dig in her heels about the name and withdraw further from you. I would also hope that a nameberry reader could find lots of ideas for girls’ names beyond [name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Rose[/name]!
[name]SIL[/name], if you’re reading, name-napping is not nice and certainly not worth tearing your family apart over. For the sake of your larger family, find an original name. Everyone, and most especially your daughter-to-be, will thank you for it!
Oh no, [name]Gracie[/name]! My heart sank for you when I read this post. Not that you have anything to feel bad about, but for her to somehow make you the bad guy in this situation is so infuriating! I thought the way you told your story was extremely gracious and tactful, if I were in your shoes my post would have been full of expletives. However, I’m glad you (inadvertently) were heard by your [name]SIL[/name] on this. If she wants to continue being an over-grown brat, then that’s her business, but hopefully the thought is now lurking in the back of her mind that nobody, in her real life or on the internet, thinks highly of her or her behaviour, and that maybe she isn’t as superior as she seems to be believe she is. Maybe it’s because I work with children and have clearly sunk to their level, but I have this terrible idea that if that situation happened to me, I’d find a way of finding out what my [name]SIL[/name] was going to wear to the next few family/social events, and turn up in the exact same outfit, except (naturally) mine would have a little extra flair, a la your girls’ names compared to hers’.
[name]Gracie[/name], I feel so bad about how this situation is turning out. More than anyone I feel sorry for her daughters. I know she says they’ll now probably have very little contact with your children but they’ll still know that their elder cousins basically had their names first. They’ll have the knowledge that their mother couldn’t come up with her own special names for them. They may even feel guilty in a way that there’s a division in the family because of them (though it’s obviously not really their fault). I think it’s an unfair thing for them to have to grow up with.
Wow. I’m sorry. It sounds like your [name]SIL[/name] has a lot of problems, and stealing names is the very least of them.
If she’s willing to punish your kids and hers by not letting the cousins see each other, just to spite you, she is a very sad person. I hope she gets the therapy she needs. Hugs to your family!
Geez, [name]SIL[/name], you’re off your rocker! [name]Pam[/name] is most certainly right! It’d be nice if she could come up with an original name for her kids because in the end I think they would thank her for it. And I agree with the pp, if she’s so angry over an internet post, then she has [name]WAY[/name] bigger problems than a name. It may hurt, but you are right and the best you can do is accept what happened and be the bigger person (like I’m sure you are doing). You have your lovely [name]Isabella[/name] and [name]Clementine[/name] and nothing can change that! So BOO on [name]SIL[/name] and YAY for [name]Gracie[/name]!!!
Dear [name]SIL[/name], If you are still following this thread… Please don’t punish your poor daughters over this! Please be a rational adult, and know that tearing your girls away from their family, and not allowing them to have their own name, and identity within the family will build resentment when they are older. I am sure you love your daughters, and I am sure they love you, their aunt and uncle, grandmother and cousins. I know that [name]Gracie[/name] came here seeking advice about the situation… obviously it upset her and she needed a place where people would understand and offer advice. Her posting her concerns here are a valid and normal place to do so. I can tell that she loves your family and wants to have a place in your lives.
No one here knows the reasoning behind your actions, but we are all concerned about them. Please consider using a different name for your dear daughter- give her a name she can call her “own” - If you love the name [name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Rose[/name], maybe that can be her middle name with a first name that is different than her cousins?
I hope the best for all your family, especially your sweet girls!
[name]Gracie[/name], I’m sorry that this has caused a rift in your family, but as you said, it sounds like it was a long time coming. And to [name]SIL[/name], like [name]Pam[/name], I am just mainly shocked that someone can spend any amount of time on a site like Nameberry, and come away with the brilliant idea of naming their child [name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Rose[/name], especially with one in the famly.
Oh [name]Gracie[/name]! I dont think you should feel bad, though i do understand why you do. I dont think it is fare at all for her to tear your family apart because of a internet thread. I mean in reality i jsut read though the post again, and you didnt say anything that any [name]SANE[/name] person could really be offended by. Some other posters did but we are strangers over the internet to her, and you are her S-I-L and you were simply asking for advice and even expressed concern in upsetting someone that quite frankly didnt deserve a calm confrontation. It is very odd that she happened to be on NB following your thread though, 1. how weird and 2. this goes to show that she KNOWS she blatantly copied your names. However aside from you S-I-L, i am really sorry that it blew up that way, and its even more terrible that you can say ‘it would have happened eventually’. I think your life will certainly be less complicated without this women in your life but it is hardly fair to your’s and her’s daughters to be pulled away from each other and no longer capable of knowing each other. This is a very, well for lack of a better word, sucky situation. Especially for your husbands brother, who has let this women drive a wedge inbetween him and his whole family! It’s just so bizzare because it was nothing that needed to be handled THIS way.
Well [name]Gracie[/name], good luck, i hope this unfortuante situation doesnt get anymore complicated and imature then it needs to. Its always unfortunate when you have ‘adults’ that act this way and punish their familes for the problem that they caused. And jsut remember you always have all of us [name]Berrie[/name]'s and NB! And im sure everyone here at NB agrees with that:)
S-I-L,
if you are still following the thread, which based on what we seem to know of you, you are I think everyone here on NB would just like to say, this is a very bizzare situation, and I am sure that you can see from the posts, EVERYONE thinks its just to odd. I cannot think of anyone that would think it was OK to use names so similar because your daughters will know of their cousins, and their grandparents will know of their grandchildrens name, regaurdless to if you dont let the children see each other. Now, [name]Isabelle[/name] is a lovely name, however you have a neice names [name]Isabella[/name]. [name]Just[/name] because their is a one letter differance doesnt mean it is a big enough differance. And i find it very unfortuante that as a grown women you do not have enough respect to calmy talk to your S-I-L, [name]Gracie[/name], and try and work out the problem or at least allow a discussion. And it is terrible that you deemed tearing your family apart a appropriate response to such a miniscule and easily fixed problem. I’m sure everyone here at NB would like to as you to reconsider a complete seperation of your family. [name]Gracie[/name] was never disrespectful but came to us for advice on how to calmy handle a situation and even praised you and your family for having another child and talked of her love for your children. If you want to be mad at someone over this internet thread be mad at the posters, not [name]Gracie[/name]. And reconsider your response this siutation. If not for the relationship between your husband and his brother and you and your S-I-L, for your daughters relationship with their cousins.
