I suppose this is more for those of us who haven’t begun the compromise process, as I’m guessing those of you who are married/pregnant/TTC have a list made up entirely of compromised names.
I’ve been thinking, lately, about the names I’d be willing to compromise on if my future hypothetical SO didn’t like any of my names, and I’m curious how they compare to our personal favorites. Maybe we can post a little bit of both. So if you had to compromise, which names would you offer up? And how different are they from your actual favorites?
Erm, no, more like names you’d be open to using instead, if your SO didn’t like your actual favorites. Like, my ideal sibset would be [name]Isabelle[/name], [name]Arianne[/name], [name]Caleb[/name], [name]Olivia[/name], and [name]Everett[/name], but if my future husband hated all of those (heaven forbid!), I can see myself with [name]Peter[/name], [name]Emmett[/name], [name]Lillian[/name], [name]Isaac[/name], and [name]Olive[/name] instead, or something like that. [name]Peter[/name] isn’t a MASSIVE favorite, although it’s a lifelong love, and if I couldn’t have [name]Caleb[/name], [name]Peter[/name] would be a pretty great replacement. Something like that.
Our compromised list is basically what is in my signature.
My own personal favourites, that I would use undoubtedly if the decision were solely mine:
[name]Ivy[/name]
[name]Leila[/name]
[name]Sofia[/name]
[name]Kate[/name]
[name]Eleanor[/name]
[name]Mae[/name]
[name]Elizabeth[/name] nn [name]Lilibet[/name]
[name]Charlotte[/name]
[name]Just[/name] for fun, this is my DH’s uncompromised list:
[name]Nina[/name]
[name]Libby[/name]
[name]Chloe[/name]
[name]Sarah[/name]
[name]Ella[/name]
[name]Lydia[/name]
[name]Charles[/name] nn [name]Charlie[/name]
[name]Vincent[/name]
[name]Oliver[/name]
[name]Arthur[/name]
[name]Harrison[/name]
[name]Lachlan[/name]
Knowing my SO likes or loves a name actually tends to make it grow on me…provided it has the qualities I’m looking for in a name (mostly, for me, this just means it’s at least relatively uncommon; names he likes are usually names he’s familiar with, so he tends conservative). I don’t think I’d like [name]Cormac[/name], [name]Malcolm[/name], [name]Rory[/name], and [name]Ramona[/name] half as much as I do if he didn’t also like them; I was not sold on [name]Ramona[/name] as recently as about a month ago, but when he very earnestly told me a) that he liked it, b) just how much he liked it, and c) why he liked it, I came around on it with record speed. I recently threw [name]Rory[/name] at him as an “I guess I could live with this” name after I’d exhausted my boys’ list (including names I just sort of liked & names I thought would be too “weird” for him) and he’d only given me a firm “yes” on two of them. Then he sent me an email that said only “[name]Rory[/name] is a cute name :)”…and now I totally dig [name]Rory[/name]. So I guess our compromise process takes the form of arriving at a mutual love of a name more than it takes actual sacrificial compromise, which I am totally okay with.
Middle names, though…it’s too early to say, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I had to let some favorite combos go. Here are some names I’d be willing to offer as compromises (since I’ve run them by him and he hasn’t outright rejected them OR he has said he likes the name and I’m no more than lukewarm on it):
For me, it’s hard to think of what I’d compromise on since I don’t know what I’m being offered instead. I’ve had name discussions with my current SO and our styles really match up, even if the names themselves aren’t exactly one-for-one. I don’t think we’d have too big of an issue finding something we both love equally if we didn’t love each others’ #1 picks.
I love [name]Edmund[/name] & [name]Marius[/name], he loves “badass Greek & [name]Roman[/name] mythology names” and classic French names. Pretty sure things’ll work out for boys, at least.
For a girl… I’m not quite sure. He has his #1-all-time-fave name that he said he will absolutely name a daughter. I like that name, and I’d agree to it, but I’m not passionate about it (even though I mention it and suggest it often).
I’m definitely open to compromise, and am expecting it. I realized years ago that all this effort I put in to making combos and sibsets isn’t going to matter when the guy I marry says, “No freekin way,” so I put myself in a more realistic headspace.
I’m fairly confident that if my SO gave me a list of 10 names he likes/ loves/ wants to use, I’d find at least a couple I’d be pumped to use.
I’ve actually been thinking a lot about this (though I try to tell myself that my future SO obviously is gonna love my favourite names because I like the most beautiful names in the world, why wouldn’t he like them :p), and I do have compromise names, but I just don’t like them as I like the real names. Also I think I might have a potential problem in that the only names I’m willing to let go are middle names … like with [name]Amaury[/name] [name]Philip[/name] [name]Theo[/name] - the only name that I can live without is [name]Philip[/name], and with [name]Anna[/name] [name]Ingrid[/name] [name]Alexandra[/name], I’m only willing to swap [name]Alexandra[/name].
Also, I don’t have a list of compromise names in general, I have one for each name. Being a name nerd is hard
We have just started talking about names last week, but here are some of the names my hubby likes, that I would be willing to use if all else fails.
[name]Cyrus[/name]
[name]Magnus[/name] ([name]Magnus[/name] is in my signature but I consider it a compromise because there are other names I love more)
I think about this often and it really makes me nervous because I have loved names since I was little and I have put a lot of thought in my combos. The thought of my SO not liking any of my names is really stressful and something I don’t want to imagine. However, my naming style has changed drastically in the last year or two. I used to be so close minded when it comes to names but recently I’ve been keeping an open mind. I’ve practically redone my whole list and I’m so open to names I never gave a second thought to.
[name]One[/name] thing I will not compromise is the middle name [name]Jane[/name] for a girl. That was my grandmother’s name and she passed away in 2009. We were really close and I want to honor her by using [name]Jane[/name] as a middle name. So that will definitely happen. However, my other girls names are kind of up for grabs right now. I have some combos I really liked, but I’m in the process of redoing my girls list. There are way more girl names that I don’t like versus boy names for various reasons and I hope I can come up with a balance with my future SO.
Boy names are a different story though. I have a lot more boy names that I like. A few are GP like [name]River[/name], Castiel and [name]Denver[/name]. The chances of my SO liking those names are probably pretty slim, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t mind letting go of those. I really love [name]Augustus[/name] and Finnick though and I will put up a fight for those for sure.
My current BF and I had a little discussion about names a few month ago and I discovered that we definitely 100% [name]DO[/name] NOT have similar tastes. He really loves Hispanic sounding names like [name]Enrique[/name], [name]Hugo[/name], [name]Lorenzo[/name], [name]Alonzo[/name], [name]Esperanza[/name], [name]Guadalupe[/name], etc. and I, well I wouldn’t say I dislike those names, but I’m not Hispanic and I just don’t have a connection to those names like he does (he’s half Mexican) and I would never use them. I was determined to find a name we both loved though just to see if it could be done and we found [name]Elena[/name]. Not gonna lie, but I love it because of [name]Elena[/name] from The Vampire Diaries (he doesn’t know that though hehe). He loves it because it’s hispanic. We came up with the middle name [name]Michele[/name] after my best friend who passed away and it also happens to be his mom’s middle name so it was perfect. I made him promise though to NEVER use [name]Elena[/name] [name]Michele[/name] with anyone else and he made me do the same lol. So I can only use that combo if I have a child with him. Doubtful though.
Been married since 2010. He threw out a lot of my favourite names and I threw out a number of his.
At the moment he’s banging on about how much he loves the name [name]Sebastian[/name] for a boy. Which has never been a big favourite of mine, in fact I used to really dislike it, but it’s not ugly/kreative and it does sound good with our last name and if he LOVES it I guess I could consider it. I never pictured myself having a [name]Sebastian[/name] but its not the sort of name that makes me wonder what’s wrong with the parents.
I gave up [name]Jody[/name] as a nn for [name]Joseph[/name] because bf was a [name]Marine[/name] (’[name]Jody[/name]’ is the guy who steals the [name]Marine[/name]'s girl). He’s my ex now so [name]Jody[/name]'s back on my list!
I’ll allow filler fn’s for my boy names if future partner finds them too girly. Ex) [name]William[/name] [name]Ashley[/name], [name]Isaiah[/name] [name]Greer[/name], [name]John[/name] [name]Arden[/name], etc. The compromise is that we have to call him by his mn
I’ll settle for [name]Shea[/name] as nn for [name]James[/name] ([name]James[/name]= [name]Seamus[/name])
No compromises for my girl names. Not that I won’t compromise but I just haven’t thought of any. I don’t have any filler fn’s that I like. I know [name]Fox[/name] will be a tough sell so I need to think of something
Here’s girls, since we haven’t had to really go to work on boys names yet…
My list: [name]Eliza[/name], [name]Penelope[/name], [name]Margot[/name], [name]Olivia[/name], [name]Mae[/name], [name]Marion[/name], [name]Josephine[/name], [name]Felicity[/name], [name]Violetta[/name]
His list: [name]Olivia[/name], [name]Fiona[/name], [name]Gabriella[/name], [name]Penelope[/name], [name]Ella[/name], [name]Addison[/name], [name]Emma[/name], [name]Lorelei[/name], [name]Kristin[/name]
So our compromise list became [name]Olivia[/name] or [name]Penelope[/name]. [name]Eliza[/name]/[name]Liza[/name] was the hardest for me to give up, it’s been my favorite for years, but it was clear he was not going to get on board with that one and that matters more. [name]Olivia[/name] is most likely going to win out because it’s easier for his family to pronounce and his absolute favorite. In the future, I’d be willing to warm up to [name]Gabriella[/name] (possibly with the nn [name]Bree[/name]). [name]Marion[/name] and [name]Margot[/name] got pretty much axed from my list and [name]Addison[/name] and [name]Kristin[/name] are gone from his.
We don’t have any compromise names really…there have been ones I really liked that he said no too though. Oddly enough I can’t recall them for the life of me…I know he said no to [name]Phillip[/name], and [name]Patrick[/name] as a middle.
[name]Matthew[/name] is a huge no no, which saddened be at first, but then I found [name]Nathaniel[/name] and I don’t care anymore. lol
There are names I refuse to budge on for anyone though: [name]Alessandra[/name] and Kol are two of them.
My all-time favorite boys’ name is [name]Nicholas[/name]. Unfortunately, DH vetoed it as a first name because our nephew’s name is [name]Colin[/name] (a variation of [name]Nicholas[/name]). (And I don’t really want to use it as a middle because the nicknames [name]Nick[/name] and [name]Nico[/name] are part of the appeal.) He does really like [name]Dominic[/name], luckily, so that’s our compromise name. Not sure if we’ll get the chance to ever actually use it, though. We want four kids and have already decided on [name]William[/name], [name]Alexander[/name], and [name]Benjamin[/name] as our top three boys’ choices. [name]Dominic[/name] would likely only be used if we had a fourth son, but he has tough competition from [name]Sebastian[/name] and [name]Gregory[/name].
On the topic of [name]Alexander[/name], [name]Edmund[/name] is our compromise middle. I want [name]Crispin[/name] and hubby wants [name]Francis[/name]. Neither of us really loves the other’s choice, so hubby suggested [name]Edmund[/name], which I’ve started to really like. (Still have my fingers crossed that he’ll eventually come around to [name]Crispin[/name], though!)
As for girls… Well, as you can see in my signature, again we have three middle name contenders for [name]Catherine[/name]: [name]Ophelia[/name], [name]Octavia[/name], and [name]Aurelia[/name]. His favorite is [name]Aurelia[/name], mine is [name]Ophelia[/name], but I have a feeling we’ll go with [name]Octavia[/name] in the end because we both like it second-best.
We really do have similar tastes in names overall, however, which is great!
I’ve just thought of two more I would totally be willing to compromise on–[name]Anouk[/name] and [name]Caspar[/name] (my kids would so rock those super European names!), not to mention [name]Agnes[/name] and [name]Edith[/name] and [name]Meryl[/name](which I think somehow I completely forgot in my OP! I’m totally in love with the idea of three girls named [name]Agnes[/name], [name]Edith[/name], and [name]Meryl[/name]!).
[name]Even[/name] though I adore my top choices, and I can see me with a little brood of kids with those names, I love so many names, I don’t think I’d have a problem finding something, as long as my husband didn’t like the [name]Jayden[/name]/[name]Bentley[/name] (okay, secretly a huge GP, but I’d never go there!)/[name]Braylon[/name]/[name]Nevaeh[/name]/[name]Avery[/name]-or-[name]Emerson[/name]-on-a-girl crowd.
[name]Isaac[/name] was our compromise name at one point. I liked [name]Isaiah[/name], he liked [name]Zachary[/name]. So [name]Isaac[/name] was the closet to the middle ground we could get.
Another compromise was [name]Marcus[/name] [name]Anton[/name]. He loves the name [name]Marcus[/name] [name]Anthony[/name], I’m not a huge fan because of the [name]Marc[/name] [name]Antony[/name] connection, but I like [name]Markus[/name] [name]Anton[/name] better. So [name]Marcus[/name] [name]Anton[/name] it became.
On the girls there was no real compromising. I’ve yet to find one girls’ name I love for more than a few days or weeks at a time. He likes [name]Kristin[/name], I say [name]Rebekah[/name]. He says [name]Lilith[/name], I say [name]Milena[/name]. The only name we can agree on is [name]Blaire[/name]. Its been two weeks almost and I still like it so hopefully it sticks longer than that.
Generally we can find something to compromise on if we both feel like it at the moment.
Well, at this stage, I don’t have any compromise names! My husband and I haven’t had a serious chat about names yet, so I don’t know what he’ll like and what he’ll hate from my list. I’m just hoping nobody will have to compromise! If you’re asking what names I’d offer up as alternatives, well, there’s no guarantee he won’t dislike those, too! I’d just be listing my second-tier names.
Mine & my partner’s (we have been together for several years now) current top girls’ name is [name]Annora[/name], which is very much a compromise name for me. My ‘true’ favourite would probably be [name]Rosemary[/name] or [name]Verity[/name] instead, but he prefers [name]Annora[/name] & I still adore it, so it makes sense for it to be our joint favourite. We also compromised on [name]Juliet[/name], as I love it but he only likes it as a middle name, so now I’ve moved it off my first name list. For boys, we tend to agree a lot, but he tends to be slightly safer than me. I may compromise on using [name]Edward[/name] instead of [name]Edmund[/name], for instance. Basically, I suggest ideas to him & then we compromise by agreeing to the ones that he likes, that way we both like our choices. I have a list of about 35 names for each gender that I’d be willing to use, some are more of a compromise than others! Of names he’s suggested (not a huge number, as I’m the name nerd & have thrown hundreds at him), I would be willing to have a Joseph or a Josephine or a Rose (clearly a pattern there!). We tend to agree a lot though, & names he loves really grow on me, so compromising is not always so terrible.
for boys, at least.