Would you let your child have a say in ....?

then suggest the next one

i will start
where the family goes on vacation

Yes and no… often our vacations are going to see my elderly mother who lives in another city, so that’s a non-negotiable!

But while it’s never occurred to me yet to ask my kids where they want to go (they’re only 2 and 4), we always take their interests and what they’d want into account when planning a trip, mostly because we care about them being happy, but also it wouldn’t be a nice holiday for ANYONE dragging along bored miserable kids :sweat_smile:

Would you let your children have a say in which school they attend?

Yes once they are a little older. Younger kiddos though I think would benefit from parental guidance.

Have a say in which house to buy?

yeah, I don’t want them to hate the house they’re living in.

what you name their sibling

To an extent. I could see DH and I asking DS’s preference between two names or some other scenario but I wouldn’t give him full free reign.

…… their room color/theme?

Yes! When they’re small I’ll help them choose, of course.

Where to live (in case of moving cities/somewhere a bit far)

to some extent, all depends on my future job and my partner’s future one, but I would take it in consideration!

how the bedrooms in your house are decided (ie who gets what room)

No, I’d leave the room decision to the parents paying for the home. I’d say mom and dad of course should get the master bed, and would let the kids (if multiple) choose their own rooms, but I probably wouldn’t even purchase a home if one room was so much better (size, view, etc.) that one child would get the short end of the stick, at the same time. That said, I’d want each child to love their space so I’d (if old enough) want their opinion while searching for the home before buying.

Next question: would you let your kid decide what type of animal to get for a pet (ie a dog if you really wanted a cat, or a dog breed you weren’t necessarily into, etc.)?

1 Like

Yes, I would. If it was something I really didn’t like (snake, fish, bird), I’d wait until they were old enough to look after it themselves (or I’d make their father do it :joy::joy::joy:). I would also probably try to nudge them towards a dog but that’s because I love dogs :joy::joy::joy:

Would you let your child/children have a say in what they eat every night? As in, separate meals for each child not just they choose unanimously?

yes, I think it gives them a healthy relationship with food, my mom always cooks me seperate meals because I’m very very picky.

what you name the family pet?

1 Like

Give ideas, yes, but the final decision will be based on family agreement since it’s for the family pet. In case of a pet the kid mostly takes care of on their own though, they could decide.

Which school they’re going to?

High school yes, in discussion with us. Primary school probably not, unless there were options we as parents loved equally.

We’ve looked around lots of primary schools for my daughter and I think she’s just too little to make those choices herself, e.g. about time taken to travel to school and meaning not being able to walk to and from school or impacting how close she lives to other school friends, about how frustrated she might feel with a Steiner school teaching the alphabet very slowly, or how lonely she might feel at a Montessori school with lots of rules or limits like only 2 children at a time in the sand pit!

Would you let them have a say in what chores they do?

It would depend on their reasoning and whether I mandated the chore or not. If they know that they are going to have to fold their laundry, for instance, they won’t be getting out of that, but I’d be willing to let siblings exchange certain chores (ie. one washes the dishes while the other puts toys away or something).

Would you let them have a say in what extracurriculars they do?

Of course! I always hated those parents who put their child in an activity because they liked it (or wished they could have gone). [name_f]My[/name_f] kids will do activities they want to do outside of school, and if they want to do none, so be it!

Where you all go on vacation?

1 Like


Your next child’s name?

They can give ideas, but the decision is mine (and husband’s).

Schools they go to?

For younger kids, definitely not. I can only imagine what that would be like…

For older kids, we can begin hearing them out more but it will always ultimately be up to me and my partner on what we think is best for them.


Definitely, except that swimming is a must. I’d sort of like a self-defence style martial arts to be a must when they’re older but we’ll see how that goes.

[name_f]My[/name_f] 5 yr old has already tried ballet, tap, jazz, roller skating, and now she’s going to try ballet again along with gymnastics. I’d love her to do scouts or St [name_u]John[/name_u] youth group or music but no time or money for more, and this is what she wants.

Would you let them have a say in what pets you get?

Of course!! I always had a say, and as a result I have some wonderful pets!

Now, obviously, if they want like an axolotl or a poisonous frog or a herd of sheep, that’s not happening. But dogs, cats, fish, etc I’m okay with.

How you spend holidays?

Then they’re small I think it’s just up to parents to decide. But as they grow older they’re welcome to give inputs. In the end we’ll pick what everyone/majority agrees on + what’s doable (in terms of cost and time).

Meal plan for the family?