Inspired by the recent meeting of two families, one with 4 daughters and one with 4 sons, I have been thinking a lot about which I would prefer. My question to you is:
If you had to choose, would you prefer to have only daughters or only sons? Why?
I am very interested in sibling dynamics and so any other questions you want to answer in this area are most welcome such as:
Would you prefer children all of one gender or a mix? Why?
[name]Do[/name] you have an ideal order of genders you would desire? Why?
What are your experiences in different gender combinations of siblings?
*This is a hypothetical discussion only, I do not advocate unnatural gender selection and do not wish to debate this issue.
That’s a tough choice. Ideally I’d like at least one of each. But if I HAD to choose… I think I’d say all boys. Remembering how I was as a teenager makes me shudder when I think of having to deal with that four times… lol.
I prefer a mix. I think it would be fun to have at least one of each. Boys and girls can be so different and it would be fun to watch them develop and see for myself what kinds of differences they have. I also like the idea of having a little girl to dress up! I definitely won’t be the type of mom that makes my daughter be super girly or anything, but when they’re little I’d like to put them in some cute frilly dresses once in a while, hehe.
If I could choose (ethically), I’d have a boy first. I always wanted an older brother to look out for me, so I’d love for my daughter (if I have one) to have that. If I had to choose my absolute perfect family, it would be a boy, a girl, then a boy or another one of each (haven’t decided if I’d like 3 or 4 kids). But I’ll be happy with whatever happens!
My personal experience is with a sister who is 8 years older than me. To be completely honest, I didn’t really like it. I never felt close to her as a kid because we were at completely different stages in our lives. I’d be playing with toys while she was reading and playing “older kid” games with her friends. We still don’t have a whole lot in common but now that we’re both adults, I think we get along better and understand each other more. My fiance has a brother 6 years older than him. I think he had a similar experience as I did. I think age can have a big effect on the relationship between siblings, especially for the same gender.
I always wanted an older brother to “protect” me. Not that I couldn’t stand up for myself, but I always liked the idea of having a brother to look out for me when it came to some of the guys I dated. My dad was never one of those overprotective dads that didn’t let me ever date, so I didn’t get it there either. Not that I wanted super overprotective parents, but it would have been nice to have someone that really stuck up for me when I got hurt.
K, I’m rambling now. Very interesting questions and looking forward to what others have to say!
It’s so easy for me since I want three or four daughters and no sons! There’s a joke that if you have two daughters and a son, it’s a gold medal, if you have two girls, it’s a silver medal, if you have a daughter and a son, it’s a bronze medal and if you have two sons, it’s a suicide (I know, it’s a sick joke). Not only that, in fact, I am the eldest of three girls and I [name]LOVE[/name] it! It’s so much fun! Also, isn’t having a lot of girls a dream of namelovers? Lol. Can’t wait to name my girls!
It’s easy for me as well! I have always dreamed of having girls, and though I’d love a bit of a mix, if I didn’t get my girls I would probably be really sad. At one point I thought I would prefer only girls, but then my adorable little second cousin came along and I love playing with him, so I’ve grown to really love both genders. I am not sure why, but my ideal sibset would be DD, DD, DS, DD, DS. If I had a sixth child, it would be a fourth daughter. I want both but I want slightly more girls, haha. I guess my reasoning would be that I really want my girls, and then after two girls, I would be so excited to finally get my little man, and then I’d be ready for a girl again, but after three girls I would want my son to have a little brother. And I always wanted my last child to be a daughter so that’s why I would pick girl for the last child…
I already have 2 girls, and I’d love to have a son, so ideally, I’d have both genders. Before I had my children, if I’d been asked this question I’m pretty sure I’d have said all boys. But now that I have 2 girls, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
[name]Little[/name] girls are so loving and affectionate. Not that boys aren’t, its just different gender dynamics. I have a 5 yr old nephew, who thinks kisses are gross and that cuddles are for sissies. Now I know for sure this is a phase, but my sister gets really jealous when my little one randomly comes over for a hug, knowing her own son won’t do it. He never wants to play with her, and is always telling her to go away. Her older son was the same, but grew out of it, as I’m sure her younger son will.
[name]Don[/name]'t get me wrong, I’m not saying boys aren’t loving, but girls are a lot more open than boys. I hope this isn’t coming across wrong!
So if I had to pick, it’d be 4 girls. But ideally, I’d like to have both
I’m really not sure. I’d probably rather girls though, boys are just a different set of energy that I don’t really have patience for.
But I can’t choose.
I work in a daycare, and honestly we’ve got some super sweet and loving boys there. Same with the girls.
I definitely want a mix. Boy-Girl-Girl-Girl or Boy-Girl-Girl-Boy.
I have two younger brothers, and I love them. I’ve seen mostly male and female families, and I think it’s much better for a girl to have a sister. Boys tend to do well on their own, but girls not so much. They’re either too ‘boylike’ in a negative way, or very spoiled.
If it’s one of each, then it’s fine. If it’s 2-1 then it’s fine, but once you hit the 3-1 mark, it’s too much.
This is easy for me, all boys! I have a little girl in my life that is like a daughter and she has always satisfied my desire to have a little girl. I have always had a different bond with boys though. When I was helping to run a Pre K, I found myself becoming like a second mom to several of the boys, and several of these boys would not listen to anyone else. Everyone has always told me what I knack I had for raising boys and getting them to behave. Ideally though I would also love to have a couple daughters of my own. As for order I would love to have all the boys first and then a couple of girls. I was the oldest and I always wanted an older brother so I would love my future daughters to have older brothers to protect them
Tough question. If you had asked me before I had my kids I would have said girls but it took a long time for my first to arrive and by then I was desperate and if people asked what I wanted I would just say ‘a baby’ and I really, really meant that.
That baby was a boy and I wouldn’t have swapped him for a girl from the second I set eyes on him so now I don’t know. Really I think there is a reason that we just get what we are given ~ we only think we know what is best!
I have to say that I don’t get the joke above, I always thought that traditionally people wanted boys for economic reasons. I’m glad the world has changed and we now value daughters but not I hope at the expense of our sons. I hope that one day society moves past this question completely.
I have a girl and 2 boys. If I could only choose one gender, I would pick to have all boys. I just think they are more fun as they grow up and have a lot less drama. My daughter is 11 and is already pretty moody. The plus side to girls is I think as adults, they stay closer to their parents. From what I’ve seen, as men grow up, they don’t spend as much time with their parents and usually spend more time with their wives families. We are thinking of having one more baby and if I could choose, I’d pick a girl. A boy would be fine too since he would be closer in age to my boys and they would have a great time together. 2 boys and 2 girls would be my ideal though - the best of both.
Very tough question!!! I work with both boys and girls, and I’m not sure which I honestly prefer! I only had brothers growing up, and I have always always wanted a daughter. Ideally, in the future, we’ll get at least one of each, and super ideally two boys and two girls. 1 boys, then 1 girl, then 1 boy, then another girl. But that is just really wishful thinking!
If I had to choose though… I don’t know if I could honestly. DH really wants a son, and I really want a daughter, to choose either or would leave one of us disappointed. If he weren’t involved or had no real preference, I would have all girls.
Growing up with Two older brothers and no sister was tough. I was the only girl in my class without an older sister to show her the ropes in make-up, go to advice for with boys, and all those girly bonding things, as my mother and I weren’t close. I often wonder if my teenage years would have been better or worse with a sister. I still don’t really know about a lot of girl stuff like make-up and etc, but I wouldn’t trade my brothers for the world (most of the time!) I was never left out really, I just played with the boys, I was never a tomboy though, as far as I see it. My brothers would play dolls with me when I was little, and I would play “Cowboys and Indians” or “[name]Army[/name]” with them in the yard.
I think it’s in the best interest of a child to have siblings from my experience, and it’s important to have both a sibling of the same gender, and opposite gender, for me anyway. Obviously some families do better with an only child or other combinations. Siblings are built in friends though, even if you don’t always get along.
I’d much prefer a mix, but if I had to choose between all girls and all boys, I’d go with all girls. With girls, you have the possibility of getting the best of both worlds: a girly girl who loves clothes and makeup and making sure she looks good, or a tomboy who can fit right in with the boys.
I’ve always wished for a sister or a female cousin that’s close to my age to do girly stuff with, since I’ve never had close female friends. [name]One[/name] of my mom’s cousins has five daughters and ever since I found out, I’ve been envious.
I don’t know what I’d do with a bunch of boys, since all the guys in my family seem to be aggressive and prone to fighting. :eek:
I’ve already started off with sons, so I’ll take all boys, please. My house is already stuffed with boy toys and boy clothes ready to be reused by future boys, so having all sons would be a real money saver, anyway. Furthermore, I love being around little boys and mothering them. It would even be more fun for me from a naming perspective, since I tend to love boy names and only feel lukewarm about girl names.
Truthfully, I don’t have strong gender preferences, and I never have, so I don’t have an ideal gender mix or gender order in mind. The families that I’ve known, including my own, with all different combinations of boys and girls, seem to have the same mix of harmony, discord, closeness, and distance; I think it comes down to the personalities of the family members involved rather than their sexes or birth orders. In my experience, there’s not one gender combination that leads to a happier family than others.
I think there was some study done not long ago about the “ideal” family composition, meaning the one that was most stable and harmonious. I can’t remember what it was, though. I believe it might have been two girls. shrug
Eta: I’ve done a cursory search, and I can’t find the study I referred to. Chances are, it was in some women’s magazine, so take the results with a grain of salt.
If i absolutely had to choose one or the other i’d go for girls. I know hubby would go the opposite way and say boys but hopefully we’ll be lucky enough to get a mixture. In an ideal world I’d have 2 of each
All girls and that’s what I’m going to have. I think boys are adorable and precious, but I could not have picked a better family for myself. I just hope I am cut out for the teenage years.
I would be devastated if I didn’t get to name two (or three!) baby girls. Ideally, I would like either two boys and two girls, two boys and three girls, or two girls and one boy. I want three to five children.
Easy question. Definitely all girls. I’d love to have both but if I had to choose between all boys or all girls then definitely girls. My family is quite girl-dominated so it’s what I’m used to and what I feel like I would find easiest. Plus I love girls names. I feel like I only like 1 boys names but so many girls names.
In my family, we tend to breed in one gender; at least, my parent’s generation. It’s either all boys, or all girls, for the most part. With my generation, it’s more varied, but still there are a lot who just have one – so if I ever spawn, it may well be down to one or the other barring adoption.
As the second of four girls, first of the second round (my older sister was a teenager when I was born), I have always enjoyed having sisters, but we fought like cats and dogs for six years or so during the teenage phase. I’m not sure it would have been quite so insane had they been boys! I always did want an older brother, too, to go with my older sister. As I get older, though, I’m sure that I am very lucky to have my sisters. Plus, they bring home guys for me for brotherly-ness.
That being said? Boys! If I had to choose, it would be boys, because little girls are evil. At least, the ones in my family. The boys are sweet and only occasionally nutty, but the little girls are princesses, and princesses are evil. Now, if you’d asked me when I was younger I would have said all girls and even now I’d have to stare mournfully at pretty names like [name]Adelaide[/name] and [name]Eleanor[/name] for a while, but well – you know. Honestly, though, if I ever do spawn (…and that’s debatable), I’d love a mixture.
I would pick 4 girls- no doubt in my mind! I have a sister, I was raised by mom & grandma, most of my close friends are women…I guess I am just a girls girl…plus I never even look at the boys name section. Obviously if I have a boy one day I will be very happy & love him tons, but if given a choice I pick girls all the way!
My husband would pick all girls, always, if he could.
I would pick all boys if I couldn’t pick a mix. I’ve always seen myself as being a mother to sons. I would like daughters though.
Good thing neither of us is really picking.
Would you prefer children all of one gender or a mix? I’d much prefer a mix. Why? Partly because my husband wants girls so badly. But partly also because I was brought up that the smallest family you should try for is one boy and one girl; and keep trying until you get at least one of each. I was one of three, two girls and a boy. They would have kept having more if my brother had been a girl.
I also think different genders of siblings have different relationships. I don’t have the same relationship with my brother I do with my sister and I wouldn’t trade either.
[name]Do[/name] you have an ideal order of genders you would desire? Probably alternating, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy. Why? I was the eldest; I desperately wanted an older brother. I tried to protect my siblings and I got in fights defending them, and I was a little teeny thing that wasn’t four feet tall until I was about nine years old. I was envious my best girlfriend had an older brother.
What are your experiences in different gender combinations of siblings? As a child I pitied only children, wanted more siblings than I had, wanted both elder and younger siblings, and was always extremely close with both my brother and my sister. I competed less with my brother; I am not sure if that’s our gender differences or the fact we were farther apart in age.
My brother heard my husband wanted only girls, and asked why. I said “he thinks girls are nicer, cleaner, less violent, and smell better” - which were all actual quotes. My brother laughed and replied “[name]Said[/name] the man with no sisters!” lol.
Furthermore, I love being around little boys and mothering them. It would even be more fun for me from a naming perspective, since I tend to love boy names and only feel lukewarm about girl names.