This is my niece and brother-in-law. Are we sure she’s turning six next week? I swear sometimes I think she’s older even though I was there when she was born.
[name]Bella[/name]: “Can I have your work badge? Okay, I will now sell it back to you for a dollar.”
JD: “l don’t want it because I don’t want to go to work.”
[name]Bella[/name]: “Daddy, sometimes you have to do stuff you don’t want to. You have to go to work and you need a badge to get in. I will take that dollar now please.”
I know this thread hasn’t been active for a while, but today my 4 year old step-daughter and I had a funny conversation, so I did some searching to find an appropriate place to share it, and I found this thread (which is hilarious, by the way)!
My husband and I always tell the kids not to swallow their gum because it isn’t good for them. Today when we were eating dinner [name_f]Emma[/name_f] said real excitedly, “I know where gum goes when you eat it! It comes out in your poop!” I asked her where she had thought it went and she told me, “Uncle [name_m]Warren[/name_m] said that if you eat gum it will hold your insides together and that you and Dad tell me not to eat it because you want me to fall apart!”
I cried from laughing so hard.
Something my older one [name_m]Bridger[/name_m] did and said recently.
He clogged the toilet with toilet paper. We all know he did it because he was in the bathroom for 15 or more minutes.
We ask him why he did it. He turns around and says, “[name_m]Don[/name_m]t you know theres a ghost who lives in here like [name_m]Harry[/name_m] [name_m]Potter[/name_m]. She did it. Of course. [name_m]Don[/name_m]t you know that Im the goodest boy in the world.” I had to go in to the other room to crack up.
[name_f]One[/name_f] of the funniest thing [name_u]Avery[/name_u] has said. He was giving my mom a foot rub and he says, “Grandma, your feet feel like plastic.”
My mom wrote that down on a post-it and still has it stuck on her bathroom mirror.
I have so many more funny stuff that my boys have said.
Can’t think of any stories at the moment but I adore how my niece [name_f]Emma[/name_f] calls Albuquerque, Albuturkey (with her most serious face on, always). Makes me laugh every time! 
The other day, my nine-year-old brothers and I were sitting down to watch [name_m]Harry[/name_m] [name_m]Potter[/name_m] and the Half Blood [name_m]Prince[/name_m] after finishing the book. A couple seconds into the opening credits, [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] turns to me and asks, “Is [name_m]Rufus[/name_m] Scrimgeour black?”
Me: “…no.”
[name_m]Benjamin[/name_m]: “I’m picturing him as [name_m]Obama[/name_m] in a vampire cape. That’s why I asked.”
These are more misunderstandings…
My little men have just turned two and this summer we were traveling around the US and they were finally getting to absorb a bit more English. Some of the pronunciation proved a bit difficult for them in an unfortunate way. We saw lots of different kinds of trucks which they pronounced in a way that sounded like ‘cocks’. So we saw fire ‘cocks’ dump ‘cocks’ and big ‘cocks’, etc… Funny, but slightly embarrassing when they were screaming it at the top of their lungs at playgrounds. ([name_m]Just[/name_m] before we left I was nervous because the number ‘six’ is pronounced ‘sex’ in Swedish and they for no apparent reason started yelling that at frequent intervals as loud as they could. Not terrible here, but I was envisioning them doing that in the States and me being mortified.)
[name_f]One[/name_f] cute misunderstanding though, was when my mom asked one of the boys if he would like to get ‘all cleaned up’ and he responded ‘yes, all clean ducks’ very seriously as he followed her to the kitchen to wash his hands.
Oh man, [name_m]Obama[/name_m] in a vampire cape just made me laugh.
Zaelia, your story reminded me of this very funny article I read recently involving the word “cocks”.
I’m not a mom, but I saw this thread and immediately thought of an encounter I had this weekend.
My aunt’s dog recently had puppies, so we were visiting to get a look at them. Her grandson, who is three, showed up while we were there. My aunt asked him what he did at school this week and he said “I cried, but it’s getting smaller and smaller.” She explained that he only recently started Pre-K and that he’s having trouble adjusting. I just thought it was adorable.
She then asked him what he and his mom did that afternoon. He said, “after school we ran errands. If you don’t know what errands are, it means I take a nap in the car.”
My mom was telling me the other day that when I was little we had just finished watching the movie [name_m]Prince[/name_m] of [name_u]Egypt[/name_u].(The story of [name_m]Moses[/name_m] and freeing the Israelites) Then the next day as we were going for a walk a mom had her little kid in one of those backpack leash things and I yelled at her “Let my people go!”
lol I’m glad she told me.
I used to have a little boy in my preschool class who was extremely active but also very adorable. We were lined up at the bathroom one day with another class and the other teacher, frustrated that this boy kept getting out of line, asked him, “What part of stand still do you not understand?” He looked up at her, completely innocently, and responded, “I don’t know, but some part!”
I may have already posted in here but have another thing lol. I help out in our church’s nursery and yesterday my sisters and i each had a baby in our arms, feeding them bottles. [name_f]One[/name_f] 4-yr-old boy was in there, and this little guy can be quite a handful at times. He was irritated at the babies for crawling by him so he stood there glaring at the babies while we fed them. He asked my sister “why is that baby looking at me right now?”. My sister said “well, he’s just a baby. He’s not trying to bug you, he just is looking around.” The boy didn’t skip a beat…he responded “Well, that and I am handsome!” 
A few stories from me
[name_f]Adele[/name_f]: Wheres the great wall of [name_f]China[/name_f]?
[name_m]Lincoln[/name_m]: In [name_u]Paris[/name_u]
My cousin [name_f]Silke[/name_f] says the weirdest thing and she’s 2 years old. [name_f]One[/name_f] day she came home from Daycare, looked at her parents and said; “I wanna be a big brother.” my aunts boyfriend couldn’t stop laughing!
Another thing she does, is when something isn’t they way she want it, she starts saying; “Stop, [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], stop!” and if my mom wants her to stop playing and have dinner (we eat together every week) she says “Last time auntie.”
Oh and this Thursday we were babysitting her and I have a friend, who lives in the Danish Capital (4 hours away) and [name_f]Silke[/name_f] associate this girl, [name_f]Alice[/name_f], with me. She goes out in the kitchen, looking serious and just starts saying something like this; “Home to Aliss, with train. [name_f]Remember[/name_f] crackers and lemonade, [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]!” then she walks in the living room screaming “[name_u]MICKEY[/name_u]!” Crazy little girl. ^^
A four year old’s attempt at a knock knock joke:
[name_f]Jade[/name_f]: Knock knock
Me: who’s there?
[name_f]Jade[/name_f]: [name_f]Banana[/name_f] who who wasn’t an orange!
Me: scratches head
At her preschool there is a scooter I told her not to use (it only has two wheels and Jade is rather uncoordinated) Jade tells her teacher: “My mom told me not to do this, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because it’s fun!”
Also, her uncle was teasing her, saying he would steal her piggy bank.
Jade: No, Uncle Steven! I have to save it for college!
I looovvve this thread. I know it is old, but I enjoy reading through it.
At church last [name_f]Sunday[/name_f], a little boy, [name_u]Aidan[/name_u], was sitting towards the centre with his parents. Let me set the scene for you. We have a very laid back but quiet congregation. We don’t really have much hand-raising or “Hallelujah, amen!” shouting. Not that we don’t think that’s great, because we do, but it just isn’t something we do ourselves much. We had a guest preacher who was getting really into the sermon, and there was one quiet moment and [name_u]Aidan[/name_u] shouts (very loudly), “Aaaaamen! You tell 'em, Mr, Preacher!” He’s 3. lol.
@sillysheila, I totally need to make a blog about what my kids say. I am going to look into that!
My daughter and her young cousins all call their Uncle [name_m]Pete[/name_m] Uncle Pizza. [name_u]Clem[/name_u] has this obsession with asking questions like “Why are their different coloured peppers? [name_f]Do[/name_f] different coloured people grow them?” And other things like, “What do the soda bottles do at night when their all alone with no workers?”
When I moved into my husbands house and his children, [name_f]Bethany[/name_f] (who was 4) came into our room when I was unpacking, jumped on the bed and said,
“Could you help me please?” I said, “sure [name_f]Beth[/name_f], whats the wrong?” and she goes (really seriously), “Well you know I have a boyfriend? well my problem is that if I ever try to chase him so I can kiss him he runs away. What should I do?”
and that was the day I realised what it was to have a daughter plus it was dead cute!
I have no kids, but here’s a few stories of when I was young.
When I was around 2 or 3, my Mum put me in front of the TV and put on my favourite show - Noddy! She then went into the kitchen to make dinner. A few minutes later, she heard me screaming, so she came running, thinking I had hurt myself somehow. She found me still in front of the TV, screaming and pointing at it. She asked what was wrong, and I said “The Goblins stole Noddy’s hat!” Apparently, I was inconsolable for a while! Still love that show though!
This isn’t what I said, but something I did. When I was very little, for some reason, Mum left a tub of Sudocrem out when I could reach it. I took the whole tub and wiped it all over myself and the sofa! If you don’t know what Sudocrem is, it’s a very thick, very water resistant nappy rash cream! I’m still not sure how my Mum got the sofa clean!
These are all so funny!
Yesterday I took a picture (of myself :P, it’s the second one on my album, if you’re one of my friends you can see it) on my iPad with my sister in the background. Apparently she was trying to photobomb me by making her face really red, so when I took the picture, she looks like a tomato! When I asked her what she was doing, she said [covering up that she was trying to photobomb me], ‘I was planning to explode’. (She’s 12.) I laughed SO HARD!!!
OMG I just laughed so hard I woke up my hamster. LOL that is HILARIOUS!!!