edited for privacy
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-I blurred out the curse words.
Excerpt:
This could all have been easily avoided if she hadn’t been stupid, and actually found a good movie for Iz and [name_f]Anna[/name_f] to watch. But, she’d shot [name_u]Chris[/name_u] down when he offered, refused to look on her own, and ended up with nothing to present to her nieces when they met up at [name_u]Johnnie[/name_u]’s for the weekend.
Back in the day, she could’ve depended on [name_u]Scott[/name_u], but now that he was in [name_f]Chicago[/name_f], there was no point. Cursing herself, she’d taken the first school DVD in her trunk she’d found and slid into [name_u]Chris[/name_u]’s passenger seat.
Aimee cast a glance over at her passenger seat. At least she hadn’t forgotten her bag for school, a black backpack with her computer, various chargers, and other shit she was sure she didn’t need. Whatever. This was fine.
She didn’t make early drives out of [name_m]Harrison[/name_m] Township very often. Sometimes, when there was a church service or special occasion that Ma, Pops, or [name_u]Johnnie[/name_u] and [name_f]Audrie[/name_f] wanted her to attend in Grosse Ile, and occasionally to drive to Traverse for [name_u]Chris[/name_u], but that was it.
It was weird. Crisp autumn weather, but the trees were still shrouded in black. Country music on the radio, but the weird kind that nobody liked. Were radio hosts even on right now?
Watson gave a snuffle in the back and [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] checked the rear view mirror. He was fine. This were fine. She was a little freaked out, but fine.
Aimee hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, or in the past couple days, so it made sense that her nerves were frayed. Garrish had come into her classroom the other day, going on about something to do with basketball, and she’d almost jumped ten feet in the air. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, though.
Never, after the divorce last year, had she ever thought that this could be possible. That [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] could have the good fortune of getting married again. [name_u]Chris[/name_u] was a physical therapist and a marathon runner, and he was young, and he knew how to have a good time.
And, holy shit, did [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] love him. She loved him like one of these early-morning country songs, in all the sappiest, most cliché ways. She’d never have even considered moving to Traverse City if she didn’t.
That’s what had her so worked up. All the damn paperwork that went into securing another job before she quit this one. And [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] didn’t want this getting around, either.
She turned her phone on and went through her contacts one-handedly, until she came to [name_f]Colleen[/name_f] [name_m]Bates[/name_m]. The line rang three times before she picked up, sounding utterly bemused.
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Your story’s a bit like mine! Except the school in my book is well known for only taking in the six best Elementally-Skilled pixies every four years (still trying to figure out how that would work biologically…). Two hydrokinetics, called hydros, two pyrokinetics, pyros, two cryokinetics, cryos.
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@Sidney_Lucille I’m basically a 10 year old who like fantasy-adventure! I enjoyed reading about your characters in the other thread, and I’d like to hear more about the world building if you didn’t mind sharing. So appearances and physical features depend on the elements they have?
(I liked your excerpt a lot! [name_f]Do[/name_f] you have a bit longer section you could post? I think that would be better for feedback.)
@jeeps Nanowrimo, that’s where you try to reach a word goal or story completion in just a single month, right? That’s so cool! I wish you luck! I think your story sounds like a very entertaining read so far. The cast of characters and setting sound fun and organic. Is the supernatural element an unexpected vessel for some romance, or is there going to be a lot of focus on that and [name_u]Arden[/name_u]? What kind of vampire is [name_f]Lydia[/name_f]?
@Theodora_Phoenix I love it 
Is this the very beginning, or just an introduction to some main players? What are the fifteen power types? [name_f]Samantha[/name_f] and Felixander are such sweet characters already!
@SparkleNinja18 Haha, I’m guessing this is [name_f]Petra[/name_f]? She’s tough! I really like your writing, it’s got good detail without halting the flow in an exciting scene!
@carlene.denae Ohhh, so the Creators were actually acting in a sort of kindness? Interesting! But if it’s been 25 years, is the outside world still a warzone? I hope little [name_m]Joel[/name_m] will be okay, lol!
@GreenEyes375 I am, and always have been, a total nerd for mermaids! I like the lore you have, like the twin queens and ‘sharing’ a male because they are rare and conception is difficult. And the history with the Gorgons. All three of your main characters sound really interesting and distinct. Their names are beautiful! I would read all about this in a heartbeat. How long have you had this idea for?
@anon80426808 Oh, your writing has a natural ease to it! I like it! [name_f]Kinda[/name_f] hard to read about how much she loves [name_u]Chris[/name_u], knowing what happens, haha…
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LOL! Thank you 
@KJGlitter Appearances and physical features depend on Talent. For Animal Talents, they take on the appearance of whatever animal they have the most connection to, if that makes sense. If not, what I mean is that if you are mouse-like and you like mice and all, then you will probably have mousy-brown hair, rounder ears, and a pointy nose. Kids don’t necessarily look like their parents. For Elemental Talents, it’s explained below in my excerpt. For Visionary Talents, I don’t know yet! As for world-building, I don’t know how the pixies’ world fits into the human world yet, I just know that there is one person on each side, pixie and human, who serve as representatives for 50 years unless one of them dies. (Lessy’s mother, Ailsi Losun, and [name_f]Becka[/name_f]'s mother, Mistress [name_f]Ada[/name_f] [name_f]Evangelyn[/name_f], are the representatives in my story. That’s ultimately how [name_f]Zoie[/name_f] and [name_f]Becka[/name_f] meet Lessy and [name_f]Ila[/name_f]. Oh, and Ailsi is the pixie representative and [name_f]Ada[/name_f] is the human one) I know that Lilyriver is on a river called [name_u]River[/name_u] de Lis because there are always lilies floating in it (lis means lily in [name_u]French[/name_u]). But otherwise, I don’t know much about the pixie’s homeland’s landscape. As well, I don’t know what I’m calling it yet. Right now, the pixie’s homeland (one “town” of roughly 200 pixies; though the females bear children, pixies don’t have genes so you could technically marry your brother/sister with no genetic issues) is called [name_f]Fawn[/name_f]-[name_u]River[/name_u] [name_f]Valley[/name_f], but it might change. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] that answered your questions!
Excerpt:
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Thank you for the feedback! It is very much appreciated 
I’ve had a mermaid idea for about fifteen years now (it all started with selkies and now its this 
) and the idea for [name_f]Syrena[/name_f] and her story in particular has been around for almost as long as that. But, Medusa and [name_m]Aramis[/name_m] didn’t come into the picture until about this time last year when I was so bored with all my other ongoing interwoven stories and decided to spend more time with [name_f]Syrena[/name_f] and [name_u]Alex[/name_u] who were my “passion project”. In fleshing out [name_f]Syrena[/name_f]‘s backstory I came up with the idea for her sisters, the lore with Nirajan and his wives, the Gorgons, and everything else. I met a transman through my job who touched my heart, and gave me the idea for Mylen about this time too, and I decided I wanted to write [name_m]Aramis[/name_m]’ story because I felt that as characters they could heal each other in a way no one else could. With [name_f]Syrena[/name_f]'s story, [name_m]Aramis[/name_m] suffers so much and struggles and tries so hard to do what she feels is the right thing and after [name_f]Syrena[/name_f]'s story ended, I wanted her to have a happy ending. That left Medusa, who I have struggled with so much. As a character I hate her she is not a person I would like nor do I understand, because she was so close-minded and just plain aggravating. And I wanted to redeem her. Thats where I got the idea for [name_u]True[/name_u] (who was named by my sister, I had originally named him [name_u]Dallas[/name_u] Beaudine [name_u]Douglas[/name_u] “Dallie” but she didn’t like that at ALL ). He softens her in a way no one else could, and makes her almost likeable to me. But with all that said, Medusa is by far my favourite because of how complex and mostly unsympathetic but still understandable her character is. And [name_u]True[/name_u] is such a sweet gem. Gah, I love writing him.
Yes! It’s so interesting, even to me and I know what happens, lol! I’m glad someone else thinks it’s interesting, too! That’s a good question. Yes and no. It’s not an active war zone everywhere you look now like it was before, but now it’s the aftermath of that with everyone being scared to do anything that they did before. They’ve been scared into seclusion for so long that now they feel they can’t come out. Any second another missile or plane or drone will hit and the world will feel like it’s ending again. So, it’s not an active war zone after 25 years, but the people still live as if it is due to living in fear for so long. (I’m not sure how long they lived in that world with attacks everywhere any night of the week, but it was at least a decade, maybe two or just closer to two.) Aw!! I do, too! He’s already my baby. He’s gonna go through so much throughout the whole series and I already know that I’m gonna cry many times with what I’m gonna have to put him through. But then there’s gonna be the wonderful things that I get to give him, too, so I’m just really excited to be able to write him. 
Thanks! It is for now, although it may get moved further into the story if I decide that anything important happens before then.
The fifteen types are called Aeros, Aquatics, Botanicals, Chatters, Disappearers, Eletricals, Embers, Fighters, Gens, Icicles, Metallics, Psychics, Racers, Seismics, and Shifters. Some of the names are subject to change.
I’m also going to do an excerpt for my side project soon, but I just realized something that might be a small problem.
The age gap + the time skip would mean that [name_u]Shiloh[/name_u] would be 17 and her love interest would be 19. It’s only a small difference, but I’m a bit worried that it might come across as a bit iffy, especially since he’s an adult and she’s not.
I should note that their relationship is once again purely platonic during that time, especially since she’s still dating someone else.
I don’t know… maybe I should change their ages?
Also, I’m doing a drawing of Felixander right now.
Thank you! Yes, that was [name_f]Petra[/name_f]. I just started writing the next draft of the story after editing the last one and I’ve been really happy with it so far. I’m glad others like it too!
Audrey I love it!!! I’ll totally read it, though I’ll be like 19 when it comes out (books take ages to get edited and published, not to mention written). Or I’ll give it to my kids “You know, Mommy’s not the only person who was a teen author. This was written by one of my friends, known to us as [name_f]Audrey[/name_f], on a website that I’ll give you accounts to later.”
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Yeah nanowrimo is where you try to write 50k words in a month, I’m moreso aiming to just write a bit every day and won’t be focusing too much on the word count.
The supernatural element is going to be pretty entwined with some religious history stuff - [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]'s specific research interest is [name_u]Julian[/name_u] of Norwich, a christian mystic from the late 1300s who had visions of god while seriously ill and then survived and became an anchoress and wrote about her visions. [name_u]Arden[/name_u] is a mystic of sorts, one who talks to spirits and sees beyond this world. And because she’s so young and there is so much darkness, she’s struggling with this power she has - her parents and aunts are trying to help her but they don’t know how to. [name_u]Arden[/name_u] is a big part of [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]'s life and as [name_f]Lydia[/name_f] becomes part of [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]'s life, she also becomes attached to [name_u]Arden[/name_u] and unlike the relatively normal humans, she is more capable of helping [name_u]Arden[/name_u].
As for what kind of vampire [name_f]Lydia[/name_f] is, I’m unsure if I want her to be one of the blood sucking ones who was turned by another vampire 100 years ago or if I want her to be a psy-vampire who feeds off of emotions and became a vampire some other way.
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Thank you for such an interesting topic and good words. [name_m]Matvey[/name_m] is worthy attention and interest, yeah 
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So. I’m back. But this time with a story completely unrelated to the ones I’ve done before!
Title
Dynasty of [name_u]Night[/name_u] was the title of the short story I first wrote for this idea, which has expanded into a much longer project. The name is the same, for now.
Target demographic/age group
Adult women, ages 18-25
Genre
Adult fiction (it would be rated R for language lol)
Medium
Currently have plans for a trilogy!
Setting
2023/2024, in a small fictional college town called [name_u]Canyon[/name_u] [name_m]Young[/name_m], which is in Southern [name_u]California[/name_u].
Names of main characters
[name_f]Amara[/name_f] [name_f]Fiammetta[/name_f] Acerbi- 19/20. [name_m]Long[/name_m] light brown hair (gets super light in the sun), brown eyes, short build. She’s persistent, strong, impulsive, introverted, a bit vengeful, and confident. At age 8, she approached an assassin and tried to hire her to get rid of her abusive stepfather (whom she lived with following the death of her mother). The assassin did it for free and adopted [name_f]Amara[/name_f], showing her the ropes of the crime world. The seven people in her assassins group are based off the seven deadly sins. She is wrath.
Edmund [name_m]Manuel[/name_m] Wechsler “[name_u]Teddy[/name_u]”- 20/21. [name_u]Light[/name_u] brown skin (mom is Puerto Rican, dad is [name_m]German[/name_m] and black Dominican), short curly black hair, brown eyes. [name_f]Amara[/name_f]’s best friend and future love interest. Middle of 5 siblings. Currently in community college studying economics. He’s quiet, sly, clever, and a bit of a kleptomaniac. His sin is greed.
Carys [name_f]Emma[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f]- 22. [name_m]Long[/name_m] blonde hair, blue eyes, curvy body. She got kicked out of her catholic parents’ house for promiscuous behavior and makes ends meet by working at a bar and with [name_f]Amara[/name_f]. She’s loud, brash, unapologetic, and social. Her sin is lust.
Winslow [name_f]Emerald[/name_f] Schenk- 19. Shoulder-length black hair, tanned skin, curvy body. She’s a student at the local university (a fictional one called [name_u]Canyon[/name_u] [name_m]Young[/name_m]). Her dad is a celebrity who cut her off after she nearly got kicked out of school for partying too hard during her first semester. She’s materialistic, social, confident, and loves food. Her sin is gluttony.
Kian [name_m]Amir[/name_m] [name_u]Dempsey[/name_u]- 20. [name_u]Red[/name_u] hair, brown eyes. He’s quirky, funny, popular, social, a little narcissistic, and loves watching documentaries (it’s a running gag in the story where he’ll say a random fact and then say he saw it in a documentary for school, which someone will call him out for). His sin is pride.
Livia [name_f]Hadassah[/name_f] Zielinski- 21. [name_m]Long[/name_m] blonde hair, blue eyes. She’s smart, resourceful, loves social media, and is the queen of internet stalking (in a good way). Her sin is envy.
Layla [name_m]Theron[/name_m]- 43. Curly black hair, brown eyes. She’s the assassin known as the [name_u]Night[/name_u] Huntress who adopts [name_f]Amara[/name_f] and raises her. She used to work with [name_f]Amara[/name_f]’s mom and believes her to still be alive, something that [name_f]Amara[/name_f] isn’t aware of until [name_f]Layla[/name_f] dies early in the story
(The other sin is sloth. His name is [name_m]Stellan[/name_m] [name_m]Sanders[/name_m]. He dies early in the story.
Blurb
- At age 8, [name_f]Amara[/name_f] hires an assassin to kill her stepfather and moves in with her.
- 11 years later, [name_f]Amara[/name_f] has her own team and has started doing jobs like [name_f]Layla[/name_f], her mentor.
- When [name_f]Layla[/name_f] is murdered, [name_f]Amara[/name_f] is plunged into a world of secrets that involve her mother, her living stepbrother, and a dangerous secret power that seems to be behind it all.
- As her team members are targeted in ways related to the seven deadly sins, she’s forced to confront it all before the secrets kill her too.
Extras
I’m planning a side story about the Protected Children, which is a group of kids who live across the country (near Jacksonville, [name_f]Florida[/name_f]) who are connected to [name_f]Amara[/name_f]. Basically, when [name_f]Layla[/name_f] started researching [name_f]Amara[/name_f]’s mom’s disappearance, she realized that it went so much deeper than just [name_f]Alana[/name_f]. She made a list of children who were related to people who have similarly gone missing in hopes that other assassins and criminals would keep an eye on them and protect them. [name_f]Amara[/name_f] is the first on the Protected Children list.
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Excerpt
8 [name_u]December[/name_u] 2012, 10:42pm
[name_m]Durham[/name_m] [name_f]Street[/name_f]– [name_u]North[/name_u] Los [name_f]Angeles[/name_f], CA
Eight-year-old [name_f]Amara[/name_f] [name_m]Haines[/name_m] stood by the lamppost on the corner of [name_m]Durham[/name_m] [name_f]Street[/name_f] and Merchants Avenue, shuffling her feet as she waited for the light to change. Another pedestrian stood nearby but [name_f]Amara[/name_f] didn’t acknowledge them. She inched closer to the road, praying that they weren’t the type to target little girls. She had followed a young couple from the bus station to the previous crosswalk, hoping to convince others that she was with them but leaving enough distance that they didn’t get suspicious. Unfortunately, they had turned down the wrong street and now [name_f]Amara[/name_f] was alone.
Her black sweatshirt swallowed her tiny body and she tugged down the hood to cover the bruises around her eyes. Despite the sharp nighttime desert wind, she was comfortable. She had hoped the giant hoodie would hide her identity and make her seem larger but the coziness was an added bonus. She otherwise only wore a pair of leggings and her thin pajama shirt, which would’ve had her shivering as soon as she stepped out of the house.
Amara thumbed the wad of cash buried in her pocket: thirty-eight dollars and seventeen cents, scraped together from her piggy bank, sock drawer, and the space between the couch cushions. She had been saving for weeks, hiding the money in different places every few days to prevent her stepbrother from stealing it. He was one of the reasons she needed it.
She’d heard of an assassin known as the [name_u]Night[/name_u] Huntress from her stepfather’s associates. Whenever her stepbrother complained about [name_f]Amara[/name_f]’s presence being annoying—which was quite often—[name_u]Dorian[/name_u] solved the issue by sitting her in the corner of his office to finish homework. She remained there for hours and he sometimes forgot she was there (or not deaf) when he took phone calls. Some of them would get rather dark.
Dorian owned a talent agency in downtown Los [name_f]Angeles[/name_f] and had plenty of enemies he could unleash the [name_u]Night[/name_u] Huntress on, if only he weren’t too chicken.
Amara wasn’t.
She didn’t quite know what an assassin was but the man on the phone, Mr. [name_m]Romano[/name_m], said they make bad people go away. As far as she could tell, [name_u]Dorian[/name_u] [name_m]Haines[/name_m] was as bad as they came.
According to Mr. [name_m]Romano[/name_m], one could contact the assassin by leaving a fee of five-thousand dollars and the name of the target in a mailbox. The location changed frequently since the police eventually caught on each time but the most recent mailbox was just off of [name_m]Durham[/name_m] [name_f]Street[/name_f]. As [name_f]Amara[/name_f] crossed the road, she saw the rusting metal box hiding in the shadows ahead.
She couldn’t find five-thousand dollars in time so she made an addition to the note promising that she would pay once she found the money. Hopefully the [name_u]Night[/name_u] Huntress would understand.
Amara glanced around to make sure no one had followed her. The other pedestrian at the crosswalk had buzzed into a nearby apartment building but the shadows made it hard to tell. [name_f]Amara[/name_f] winced as the lid of the mailbox creaked.
She peered inside, wondering if anyone else had left something. The darkness below seemed to go on for eternity, as if the box had no end. A penny slipped from her grasp and landed on the metal floor with a clank, reassuring her that the mailbox had a bottom. She held the rest, ready to dump it, when a hand seized her shoulder.
“What are you doing, kid?”
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@Theodora_Phoenix If you’re okay with it, I’d love to see that drawing! 
(Also, I think they ages are fine, since it’s just platonic at that time.)
@12queen That’s a great start! I’m curious where the sci-fi comes in! Is the world a sci-fi one, or do the characters go on an adventure with an unusual sci-fi aspect?
@SparkleNinja18 Dang, you’re writing is always good. And your names. [name_u]Winslow[/name_u] [name_f]Emerald[/name_f] 
This sounds like a very interesting plot, so are the assassins being targeted by other assassins?
Guys, I have a couple paper and exam coming up, so I’m not on here as much, but I love all your stories, and please keep using this thread if you have more you want to share
Aw thank you
[name_u]Winslow[/name_u]’s name was a lot of fun to come up with because she’s the daughter of celebrities so I felt like I could get wild!
Yes, they are targeted by other assassins. In the first book, they’re all hired by [name_f]Amara[/name_f]’s stepbrother, [name_m]Gabe[/name_m], who is later revealed to have just been a pawn.
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All credits for this final written plot: @olympia.michelle! Character credits: @milqtea (Me!), @olympia.michelle, @Sidney_Lucille, @the.vintage.scribe, and @jeeps!
Okay, sorry I’m late. I love this dialogue idea, but I think I got this plot perfect. I ruined everyone’s characters, including my own, so sorry in advance. No one has to even read this, but I wanted to share it.
The characters are as they were in the first place. Laurie’s mother is so sick she can’t take care of the kids or do her chores. Laurie’s dad asks around for some help around the house. Albert Coleman (senior) volunteers Constance, who he hopes will deem Laurie an appropriate husband.
Constance is well beyond the suitable age to marry, but Mr. Coleman hopes that her good deed for the Hawthorne family will convince them to let her marry Laurie. Except, Constance needs to take care of her siblings. She doesn’t want a husband. Constance doesn’t want the job, but has no choice. She asks her friend Adeline to accompany her. Adeline accepts, grateful for the excuse to get out of the house. Adeline loves her family but is sometimes overwhelmed by them.
While taking care of the Hawthorne house, Constance attempts to convince Laurie to marry someone else with money, of course to no avail given Laurie is gay. Constance then moves to Charlotte and tells Charlotte how proud her father will be if Charlotte steps up to marry. Charlotte agrees, but doesn’t know who to marry.
Victoria and her step-brother, August, come to the Hawthorne residence often. Victoria and Charlotte are best friends, and so are August and Laurie. While being at the house with Constance, Adeline falls madly in love with Victoria.
One day, Adeline goes looking for Victoria but instead inadvertently finds August and Laurie together. Adeline tells Constance immediately.
Constance hatches a plan. August’s family has money. She tells August that if he doesn’t marry Charlotte she will expose August and Laurie’s secret. August agrees to marry Charlotte in fear of the truth getting out. Charlotte agrees to marry August to help her mother. Mr. Hawthorne is very grateful to his daughter for her sacrifice. Charlotte and August’s marriage will take care of Mrs. Hawthorne’s treatment.
Charlotte got both his Lauries’s father’s pride and Laurie’s August. Laurie feels betrayed by both his sister and August. In a fit of rage, he proposes to Victoria, Charlotte’s best friend and August’s step-sister. Victoria accepts, dumbstruck. Everything is set in stone. Adeline, hearing the news of Victoria’s engagement, panics. Adeline confesses her love for Victoria, but Victoria doesn’t know what to do.
[name_u]Laurie[/name_u]’s mother dies. Unexpectedly. Suddenly, all of the plans are for nothing. Charlotte and Laurie don’t need to get married. Should they call everything off?
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I forgot to mention that this story is set in the early 1800s, so sorry about that, lol!
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