Please do! I had the same thought about mine! I want to share more now!
I would absolutely love if people put more of their stories and ideas up on here! Asking advice if you like, or just showing off as you do
If you do, might I suggest replying to your original post about the story/world/blurb, and that way it will be easy for others to follow it back and get all the needed details and information. Really, thanks to all of you guys for sharing, I’m really enjoying this
Thank you!
Title: IDK yet
Demographics/Ratings: Geared towards 10-year-old who like fantasy-adventure.
Genre: [name_m]Said[/name_m] above, fantasy-adventure
Medium/format: Currently just one book, maybe will be two. Told in first person by two narrators until the narrators meet when it becomes third person.
Characters: See my post on Your MC’s Name and Why for more detail. Lessy Losun, [name_f]Ila[/name_f] Caravago, [name_f]Zoie[/name_f] Ilocazie, [name_f]Becka[/name_f] Erminegardett
Blurb: (from the end of Chapter One: Lessy and [name_f]Ila[/name_f]. narrator: Lessy) As Leannesi said, there is a girl already there.
“[name_m]Hi[/name_m], I’m Lessy Losun. Ailsi Losun’s daughter,” I say.
“Oh, I’ve heard of her a few times,” The girl says. “She’s a pyrokinetic. I don’t care much for those. Bad pun definitely intended, they have fiery tempers.” I don’t respond but look skeptically at the girl. I’ve seen her someplace. She has a piercing glare that’s hard to forget. Narrowed brown eyes, sizing everything and everyone up. Short, dark brown hair, only past her shoulders. Korah had soft, kind eyes in a brown-blue color and long curly tendrils of semi-solid-like water for hair. Normal Hydros have long, rushing waterfalls for hair. Hmm.
“I’m [name_f]Ila[/name_f],” The girl says finally, dramatically.
[name_m]Can[/name_m] I get feedback on my excerpt?
@KJGlitter Thank you! Yes, I’ve been working on this concept and world for almost four years now so it is quite fleshed out at this point. It’s been interesting to see how [name_f]Petra[/name_f]’s story has expanded my knowledge of the world by giving me new kingdoms and cultures to explore, as well as fundamental aspects. [name_u]Magic[/name_u] was always part of the story* but it didn’t have a clear set of rules or limitations until [name_f]Petra[/name_f] got involved. I see it being less of a factor in [name_f]Matilda[/name_f]’s story though because hers has always been about the political drama and I don’t think it necessarily needs magic. And given the society’s typical dislike/distrust of magic, it would make sense for it to not be a major factor in the story and it wouldn’t be like a missing plot point.
*If anyone is curious, the concept of [name_f]Matilda[/name_f]’s story started out as a fairytale princess who, upon hearing that her story had already been written with her in the role as a damsel in distress, decided to go against her plot and save her kingdom without the help of the prince who was supposed to rescue her. As she broke away from the story, she would see words in the sky, like the text of a book to remind her what was supposed to happen. I found this to be very limiting though so I removed this element of it.
The title: ??? who knows yet
The demographic: Adult. There will likely be violence and definitely death but nothing too graphic.
Genres: supernatural romance
Medium: novel
Characters:
- Dr. [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_u]Maxwell[/name_u] is a 38 year old professor of religious history at a local university. Her mom died when she was 30 and she gained custody of her then 13 year old sister [name_f]Chloe[/name_f]. She’s a bit clueless socially but very loving, a doting aunt and a bit of a hopeless romantic.
- Lydia Hastings is a new waitress at the [name_u]Denny[/name_u]’s down the street from [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]’s apartment. She was born in 1883 and died and turned into a vampire in 1926 at the age of 43. She’s cynical from her decade of being undead.
- Chloe [name_u]Maxwell[/name_u] is [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]’s 21 year old sister who is living with her while she finishes school. She’s a big advocate for therapy, is very social and her sister’s biggest fan.
- Theo [name_u]Maxwell[/name_u] is [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] & [name_f]Chloe[/name_f]’s 34 year old brother. He is a nanotech scientist who is happily married to [name_f]Nora[/name_f] and father to [name_u]Arden[/name_u].
- Arden [name_f]Grace[/name_f] [name_u]Maxwell[/name_u] is [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]’s 5 year old niece who talks to spirits and has a connection to the supernatural.
- Danny [name_m]Hernandez[/name_m], the 27 year old other night shift waiter at the [name_u]Denny[/name_u]’s.
- Luca [name_m]Duncan[/name_m] - [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]’s therapist
- Brutus - [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]’s cat
A blurb:
Dr. [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_u]Maxwell[/name_u] is feeling good about her life - she has two siblings that she’s close to, a job that she loves, a supportive therapist, and a 24 hour diner in walking distance from her apartment. The only thing that’s missing is romance, that is until a new waitress starts at her favorite office away from the office. [name_f]Lydia[/name_f] is a tall, handsome, secretive redhead who [name_f]Ivy[/name_f] is constantly making a fool of herself in front of. When [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]’s niece starts communicating with the dead, [name_f]Lydia[/name_f] opens up about her long past.
Questions: I just settled on this premise being my nanowrimo novel for this year and haven’t fully fleshed it out yet. If anyone has any thoughts on what I’ve got so far, I’d love to hear them!
I did my excerpt. Well, I tried.
There are many types of super-powered people in this world, but I believe that none are as feared as the Embers. [name_f]My[/name_f] name is [name_f]Samantha[/name_f] [name_f]Goldina[/name_f], and I’m an [name_u]Ember[/name_u]- a particularly powerful one, too.
I could’ve been Aquatic and had water powers, or maybe a [name_f]Gen[/name_f] and had healing powers. But no. I had to be born with the ability to create FIRE.
My parents weren’t worried much, until I hurt my brother [name_u]Stanley[/name_u] and almost burned down the house.
After that, they sent me away to Dorefield Academy- and that’s where I am now.
Well, the full name is Dorefield Academy for Superpower Heightening, but nobody calls it that.
The Academy’s pretty famous. It was the first one to be open to students with any of the fifteen power types. And it’s also well known for taking in the troublesome kids. Kids like me.
I tried to avoid attracting attention. But somebody noticed me anyways. Well, of course he did. I bumped right into him. I was so busy trying to avoid eye contact that I forgot to look where I was going.
“Sorry!” I said. “I’m so sorry!”
“Hey, it’s no problem,” he said, smiling warmly. He was the most unusual-looking boy I had ever seen.
He had a long nose and long red hair that came down to his shoulders. His large eyes were a bright shade of… blue? [name_u]Green[/name_u]? [name_u]Teal[/name_u], I decided.
But what had first caught my eyes was the purplish-red blotch that ran from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his nose.
I guess that I’d been staring for a little too long, because he chuckled and said:
“[name_m]Don[/name_m]’t worry. It’s just a birthmark. I didn’t get burned or anything.”
“Well… well… you might, if you don’t stay away from me!” I said, nervously backing up.
“Huh? Oh! You’re that new [name_u]Ember[/name_u] girl!” he said. “[name_f]Samantha[/name_f]. Right?”
Great . Word must have gotten around about me already.
“Y-y-yeah,” I said. “I’m [name_f]Samantha[/name_f].”
“Hey, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Felixander!” he said. “I’m an [name_u]Ember[/name_u], too!”
Excerpt
A thin stream of blood slid down the side of my face, unsettlingly warm and sticky as it paused in a pool underneath my eye. The man standing above me landed another punch that dislodged the puddle, allowing it to flow across my cheek and deliver a tangy flavor that sat on my lips.
“Well,” I muttered, “I did claim that you wouldn’t hit a girl. I guess I deserved that.”
Yannick’s fist broke skin on the fifth blow and he landed punch number eight after I finished speaking. Wait, maybe number nine. [name_f]My[/name_f] head was fuzzy from the repeated collisions so I may have lost count. Either way, it was an excessive amount considering he wouldn’t even tell me what this was about.
All I did was go to a bar by the harbor and order a drink, which had still been sitting on the table by the front door when [name_m]Yannick[/name_m] dragged me to the back room. It was probably wasted by now, either finished by another patron or drugged by some asshole who took me for a fool. [name_m]Yannick[/name_m] had stormed into the bar in such a fury when he spotted me in the window that I didn’t get a chance to choke it down.
My eyelid fluttered as drops of blood clung to its lashes. I shrugged my shoulder to wipe away some of it but with my hands tied behind the chair, it didn’t reach far enough. I huffed in annoyance, providing a moment’s relief from the wisp of hair that had been tickling my nose before it landed again in the same spot.
Yannick, the idiot responsible for the fountain of blood ruining my favorite white blouse, finally ceased his punching and grabbed my chin. He leaned forward and his mouth parted into a sneer to reveal teeth that were brown where they weren’t gold. A foul stench filled my nose as he got closer. It smelled like something was rotting and came from either [name_m]Yannick[/name_m]’s breath or the rat’s nest of a beard on his face. When he snarled, blowing a puff of air, I got the answer.
“You know, [name_m]Yannick[/name_m],” I said, hiding my recoil behind a forced smile. “I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol talking or the concussion you just gave me but you’re looking really nice today.”
Aw, thanks!
Felixander originally was going to be a side character, but he was just so interesting that I couldn’t stop writing about him! So, I promoted him to a main character. His dad’s name is Reximus and his sister is Roxandria. They’re the only ones with names like that.
I was a bit worried about the names since I have such an eclectic mix. But I love them, too! I also forgot to mention that my story takes place in ~2080. I could’ve tried to predict what names would be popular in the future, but I thought it would be more fun to just go wild and use whatever I want.
Thank you so much!! That excerpt is my favorite thing I’ve written for [name_m]Canton[/name_m] so far. I’m so glad something struck you! I love that!! Yes, I do! The Originals were put into the dome by “the creators” because of the state of the world. The state of the world being: filled with constant terrorist attacks on countries all over the globe, no commercial flights anywhere out of the country, hostility between most every country. This makes for a very war-filled life, and all you want when your life is filled with war is some peace. So, “the creators” created this sectioned off place where some of the smartest people, the ones with the most potential to have been something in a more peaceful world, would be sent (the Originals) to live a peaceful life away from what the world really is, somewhere where the war-filled world can’t get in and these people can really have the peace-filled life that everyone else can only dream of.
edited for privacy
-I blurred out the curse words.
Excerpt:
This could all have been easily avoided if she hadn’t been stupid, and actually found a good movie for Iz and [name_f]Anna[/name_f] to watch. But, she’d shot [name_u]Chris[/name_u] down when he offered, refused to look on her own, and ended up with nothing to present to her nieces when they met up at [name_u]Johnnie[/name_u]’s for the weekend.
Back in the day, she could’ve depended on [name_u]Scott[/name_u], but now that he was in [name_f]Chicago[/name_f], there was no point. Cursing herself, she’d taken the first school DVD in her trunk she’d found and slid into [name_u]Chris[/name_u]’s passenger seat.
Aimee cast a glance over at her passenger seat. At least she hadn’t forgotten her bag for school, a black backpack with her computer, various chargers, and other shit she was sure she didn’t need. Whatever. This was fine.
She didn’t make early drives out of [name_m]Harrison[/name_m] Township very often. Sometimes, when there was a church service or special occasion that Ma, Pops, or [name_u]Johnnie[/name_u] and [name_f]Audrie[/name_f] wanted her to attend in Grosse Ile, and occasionally to drive to Traverse for [name_u]Chris[/name_u], but that was it.
It was weird. Crisp autumn weather, but the trees were still shrouded in black. Country music on the radio, but the weird kind that nobody liked. Were radio hosts even on right now?
Watson gave a snuffle in the back and [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] checked the rear view mirror. He was fine. This were fine. She was a little freaked out, but fine.
Aimee hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, or in the past couple days, so it made sense that her nerves were frayed. Garrish had come into her classroom the other day, going on about something to do with basketball, and she’d almost jumped ten feet in the air. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, though.
Never, after the divorce last year, had she ever thought that this could be possible. That [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] could have the good fortune of getting married again. [name_u]Chris[/name_u] was a physical therapist and a marathon runner, and he was young, and he knew how to have a good time.
And, holy shit, did [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] love him. She loved him like one of these early-morning country songs, in all the sappiest, most cliché ways. She’d never have even considered moving to Traverse City if she didn’t.
That’s what had her so worked up. All the damn paperwork that went into securing another job before she quit this one. And [name_f]Aimee[/name_f] didn’t want this getting around, either.
She turned her phone on and went through her contacts one-handedly, until she came to [name_f]Colleen[/name_f] [name_m]Bates[/name_m]. The line rang three times before she picked up, sounding utterly bemused.
Your story’s a bit like mine! Except the school in my book is well known for only taking in the six best Elementally-Skilled pixies every four years (still trying to figure out how that would work biologically…). Two hydrokinetics, called hydros, two pyrokinetics, pyros, two cryokinetics, cryos.
@Sidney_Lucille I’m basically a 10 year old who like fantasy-adventure! I enjoyed reading about your characters in the other thread, and I’d like to hear more about the world building if you didn’t mind sharing. So appearances and physical features depend on the elements they have?
(I liked your excerpt a lot! [name_f]Do[/name_f] you have a bit longer section you could post? I think that would be better for feedback.)
@jeeps Nanowrimo, that’s where you try to reach a word goal or story completion in just a single month, right? That’s so cool! I wish you luck! I think your story sounds like a very entertaining read so far. The cast of characters and setting sound fun and organic. Is the supernatural element an unexpected vessel for some romance, or is there going to be a lot of focus on that and [name_u]Arden[/name_u]? What kind of vampire is [name_f]Lydia[/name_f]?
@Theodora_Phoenix I love it Is this the very beginning, or just an introduction to some main players? What are the fifteen power types? [name_f]Samantha[/name_f] and Felixander are such sweet characters already!
@SparkleNinja18 Haha, I’m guessing this is [name_f]Petra[/name_f]? She’s tough! I really like your writing, it’s got good detail without halting the flow in an exciting scene!
@carlene.denae Ohhh, so the Creators were actually acting in a sort of kindness? Interesting! But if it’s been 25 years, is the outside world still a warzone? I hope little [name_m]Joel[/name_m] will be okay, lol!
@GreenEyes375 I am, and always have been, a total nerd for mermaids! I like the lore you have, like the twin queens and ‘sharing’ a male because they are rare and conception is difficult. And the history with the Gorgons. All three of your main characters sound really interesting and distinct. Their names are beautiful! I would read all about this in a heartbeat. How long have you had this idea for?
@anon80426808 Oh, your writing has a natural ease to it! I like it! [name_f]Kinda[/name_f] hard to read about how much she loves [name_u]Chris[/name_u], knowing what happens, haha…
LOL! Thank you
@KJGlitter Appearances and physical features depend on Talent. For Animal Talents, they take on the appearance of whatever animal they have the most connection to, if that makes sense. If not, what I mean is that if you are mouse-like and you like mice and all, then you will probably have mousy-brown hair, rounder ears, and a pointy nose. Kids don’t necessarily look like their parents. For Elemental Talents, it’s explained below in my excerpt. For Visionary Talents, I don’t know yet! As for world-building, I don’t know how the pixies’ world fits into the human world yet, I just know that there is one person on each side, pixie and human, who serve as representatives for 50 years unless one of them dies. (Lessy’s mother, Ailsi Losun, and [name_f]Becka[/name_f]'s mother, Mistress [name_f]Ada[/name_f] [name_f]Evangelyn[/name_f], are the representatives in my story. That’s ultimately how [name_f]Zoie[/name_f] and [name_f]Becka[/name_f] meet Lessy and [name_f]Ila[/name_f]. Oh, and Ailsi is the pixie representative and [name_f]Ada[/name_f] is the human one) I know that Lilyriver is on a river called [name_u]River[/name_u] de Lis because there are always lilies floating in it (lis means lily in [name_u]French[/name_u]). But otherwise, I don’t know much about the pixie’s homeland’s landscape. As well, I don’t know what I’m calling it yet. Right now, the pixie’s homeland (one “town” of roughly 200 pixies; though the females bear children, pixies don’t have genes so you could technically marry your brother/sister with no genetic issues) is called [name_f]Fawn[/name_f]-[name_u]River[/name_u] [name_f]Valley[/name_f], but it might change. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] that answered your questions!
Excerpt:
Thank you for the feedback! It is very much appreciated I’ve had a mermaid idea for about fifteen years now (it all started with selkies and now its this ) and the idea for [name_f]Syrena[/name_f] and her story in particular has been around for almost as long as that. But, Medusa and [name_m]Aramis[/name_m] didn’t come into the picture until about this time last year when I was so bored with all my other ongoing interwoven stories and decided to spend more time with [name_f]Syrena[/name_f] and [name_u]Alex[/name_u] who were my “passion project”. In fleshing out [name_f]Syrena[/name_f]‘s backstory I came up with the idea for her sisters, the lore with Nirajan and his wives, the Gorgons, and everything else. I met a transman through my job who touched my heart, and gave me the idea for Mylen about this time too, and I decided I wanted to write [name_m]Aramis[/name_m]’ story because I felt that as characters they could heal each other in a way no one else could. With [name_f]Syrena[/name_f]'s story, [name_m]Aramis[/name_m] suffers so much and struggles and tries so hard to do what she feels is the right thing and after [name_f]Syrena[/name_f]'s story ended, I wanted her to have a happy ending. That left Medusa, who I have struggled with so much. As a character I hate her she is not a person I would like nor do I understand, because she was so close-minded and just plain aggravating. And I wanted to redeem her. Thats where I got the idea for [name_u]True[/name_u] (who was named by my sister, I had originally named him [name_u]Dallas[/name_u] Beaudine [name_u]Douglas[/name_u] “Dallie” but she didn’t like that at ALL ). He softens her in a way no one else could, and makes her almost likeable to me. But with all that said, Medusa is by far my favourite because of how complex and mostly unsympathetic but still understandable her character is. And [name_u]True[/name_u] is such a sweet gem. Gah, I love writing him.
Yes! It’s so interesting, even to me and I know what happens, lol! I’m glad someone else thinks it’s interesting, too! That’s a good question. Yes and no. It’s not an active war zone everywhere you look now like it was before, but now it’s the aftermath of that with everyone being scared to do anything that they did before. They’ve been scared into seclusion for so long that now they feel they can’t come out. Any second another missile or plane or drone will hit and the world will feel like it’s ending again. So, it’s not an active war zone after 25 years, but the people still live as if it is due to living in fear for so long. (I’m not sure how long they lived in that world with attacks everywhere any night of the week, but it was at least a decade, maybe two or just closer to two.) Aw!! I do, too! He’s already my baby. He’s gonna go through so much throughout the whole series and I already know that I’m gonna cry many times with what I’m gonna have to put him through. But then there’s gonna be the wonderful things that I get to give him, too, so I’m just really excited to be able to write him.
Thanks! It is for now, although it may get moved further into the story if I decide that anything important happens before then.
The fifteen types are called Aeros, Aquatics, Botanicals, Chatters, Disappearers, Eletricals, Embers, Fighters, Gens, Icicles, Metallics, Psychics, Racers, Seismics, and Shifters. Some of the names are subject to change.
I’m also going to do an excerpt for my side project soon, but I just realized something that might be a small problem.
The age gap + the time skip would mean that [name_u]Shiloh[/name_u] would be 17 and her love interest would be 19. It’s only a small difference, but I’m a bit worried that it might come across as a bit iffy, especially since he’s an adult and she’s not.
I should note that their relationship is once again purely platonic during that time, especially since she’s still dating someone else.
I don’t know… maybe I should change their ages?
Also, I’m doing a drawing of Felixander right now.
Thank you! Yes, that was [name_f]Petra[/name_f]. I just started writing the next draft of the story after editing the last one and I’ve been really happy with it so far. I’m glad others like it too!