The Miscarriage Thread

A safe space for posters to discuss experience of miscarriage and share feelings and discussion relating to this subject.
Please feel comfortable here to share your experience or worry.

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I had vanishing twin syndrome last year. We went to our first appointment at 6 weeks, and there were two sacs but only one growing little bean. I know miscarriage is often stigmatized, but from the reactions of some people, it felt like my experience didn’t “count” as a miscarriage. A few people even asked me if I was relieved! It was hard at first, but then the business of getting ready for a baby in a pandemic set in. I felt the pang of loss again after my son was born. He was so wonderful, and thinking that there was once two of them was painful. I felt another blow a few weeks ago when a friend announced she was pregnant with twins. I’m happy for her, but I couldn’t help but have the thought, “but I was supposed to have twins”.

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I’m so sorry this happened, and that people said those things to you. :heart:

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I’ve never had a miscarriage as I’ve never been pregnant, but there is a history in my family and it is something I fear everyday. I want to send a huge hug to anyone who has gone through such a loss. Whether you’re grieving in private or sharing your story online, I am sending you all the strength and love in the world :white_heart:

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@jk_garrison I’m so sorry that people have been dismissive of your loss. Words really can cut very deep. I’m glad you feel comfortable to share your story with us. I hope that being open about the loss will help you heal. Xx

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Miscarriage really feels like one of them taboo subjects doesn’t it. It really does need to be discussed more!
I’m so sorry you lost one of your twins. I can imagine this must have been a very bittersweet experience because you have your son/loss simultaneously. Sometimes I think people mean the best with words but really there may not be words that help at all. [name_m]Just[/name_m] a listening ear and lots of hugs and support.
X

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I can appreciate how something like that can hang over your head and cause you anxiety. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and I think when you do decide it’s your time to TTC I hope you can get the mental support you need to help you with your worries x

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Sigh. I just feel sad today. I think AF is around the corner, so my hormones are probably having a field day… not helpful. :pensive:

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Sending a virtual hug :hugs::frowning::frowning: I always feel very meh before a period too.

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I miscarried quite young - just a week or so after my 15th birthday.

I don’t have the energy to type out my whole story right now, but I might come back. :heart: If anyone needs any comfort or support if they are going through something like this, you can always reach out to me, either on this thread or in private messages.

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So sorry to hear about your experience. That’s very young and I hope you got lots of support and help when it happened

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I had an early miscarriage (6 weeks). Since it was so early on I felt like I was being ridiculous for being so emotional about it and felt like it didn’t “count.” I did have a great support system that helped me realize that my feelings were valid. And even tho it was a very early miscarriage, I allowed myself to grief.
We were able to get pregnant a few months after tho and had a baby girl. But the whole pregnancy I was so worried I would miscarry again. Sometimes I get this feeling like there should be another boy in our family and it makes me wonder if I’m just going crazy or if the miscarriage was a boy.

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I feel this so much. If and when we try again, I know I’m going to worry the whoooole time. :pleading_face: I’m so glad you got your rainbow baby eventually! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Not ridiculous at all. I totally can relate because I miscarried before I had my eldest son and I spent the whole of the pregnancy worrying about him and whether I’d miscarry again. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think you may try again in the future? [name_u]Or[/name_u] no immediate plans at the moment

Hugs to all of you :orange_heart:

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks two summers ago. [name_f]My[/name_f] little [name_m]Hugo[/name_m]. I’ll love him and miss him my whole life. Since then we’ve had our sweet baby [name_m]Oskar[/name_m] (in addition to my older two). But I find myself wondering all the time what it would be like to have [name_m]Hugo[/name_m] here, too.

Thanks for giving me a place to share :slightly_smiling_face:

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Sorry to hear about [name_m]Hugo[/name_m].

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Hugs to all of you who have gone through this! The love that washes over you the moment those two pink lines appear is very real. Each and every loss is very real. Your angel baby is very real and deserves to be acknowledged and remembered. :heart:

I had a missed miscarriage this last summer at 10w. I had a very complicated pregnancy with my daughter and recently found out at a miscarriage follow up appointment that I most likely had vanishing twin syndrome during her pregnancy as well. The grief over my most recent baby is so overwhelming that I feel like if I let myself grieve for my little twin, I won’t ever recover. I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to experience the power of a mother’s love, but the power of a mother’s grief is something I wish I’d never had to go through.

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Totally. :slight_smile:

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Last night was an experience… I had an anxiety attack, bawled my eyes out, and couldn’t sleep till 4am. :sob::sleeping: [name_f]My[/name_f] saint (and trooper) of a husband stayed up with me the whole time. It was so strange… for a long time I just felt wired and out of sorts, and then I just started crying suddenly and all I could think on repeat was “I want my baby back”. So we talked and he made me a cup of tea and we watched some tv, and then I finally was able to get some sleep. I feel like a zombie today, but thankfully it’s [name_f]Sunday[/name_f], so I’m just sitting on the sofa in a flanny doing bug all.

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I’m so sory @_thelittlefairywren. Hugs to you!!

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