@pennysola Aww, I’m sorry, honey. I know. It definitely does suck. 
Fingers crossed for next time! And I agree, any baby would be most welcome! 
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@pennysola, I’m sorry it wasn’t your month. Thank you for the well wishes. I may need them.
I’m glad I’m not alone in my overthinking.
Just getting EW for the first time this cycle this morning… but we have yet to do the deed. I was right to be worried about the added complexity of TTC with two littles and my husband’s weird hours. But we are resolved to do it today before he goes to work and hopefully lots over his days off [name_f]Tu[/name_f]-Fri!
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Grr…
[name_f]My[/name_f] current mood. Perhaps if this ever happens she will be named [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f] after all cuz man these stars just aren’t lining up so far…
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What a beautiful song! I really do think once you get pregnant things will be more clear.
Hopefully it happens this week for you
ETA: Just realized you were talking about finding time and not just naming.
I totally understand that. I’m right there too. 
Having two toddlers complicates things a bit. Lol
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@pennysola I hope you get your [name_u]August[/name_u] baby this time! Next month will be our first to TTC again so if it happens we’ll have an [name_u]August[/name_u] baby too.
I can tell you from experience that little [name_m]Leos[/name_m] are wonderful, cuddly little creatures and I wouldn’t mind adding another one if we’re lucky enough.
Fingers crossed for you
@pennysola I completely understand, TTC can be emotionally and mentally draining. I hope you get your [name_u]August[/name_u] baby!
I’m an over thinker too. I’ve been overthinking this entire process, and well, my entire life lol.
What a series of unfortunate events… I’m fairly sure I ovulated yesterday… only time will tell but I felt like it. I don’t have reliable mittelschmertz but I do sometimes have them and yesterday was one of these times. That, coupled with my friskiness and clear skin and copious amounts of EW in the am followed by dryness in the pm and this am… I’m pretty sure I’m done for the month.
It COULD of course be just a false peak of estrogen and my body might warm back up. CD 12 is really early for me and it has been more than a year since my ovaries were so trigger-happy in a cycle. I’m upset as I usually have a good 4-5 days of EW to various stretch and this was 2 days of it. And we didnt get actual sperm in me until last night, after I had already dried up.
So… I feel hopeless. I hate the idea of TTC without actually TRYING to conceive. Now I have to sit around waiting and hoping even though I know logically the chances are drastically reduced… the fact that I was already dried up means that I was likely spermicidal and closed already… I used gravity as my tool afterwards but I’d much rather have the EW to do its filtering and funneling job and just… the chances are so low. And then I worry about the nocebo effect on top of it all… that my pessimism is more spermicidal than the rest of it.
Next month will be better. We were able to figure out the logistics of fitting it in and will use those skills next time around. Also last night’s success made a huge difference in taking the pressure off from the previous days. But just… sigh.
We will still keep trying today and tomorrow or until I can confirm ovulation, but I just feel like the hope is lost. 
Aw I’m sorry things haven’t lined up perfectly this time. I would keep trying, like you said. You never know. Perhaps your body’s just being weird this cycle and you haven’t actually ovulated yet. But even if you did, there’s still a good chance you caught the egg since it was on the same day.
I know I’m going to be very impatient too but I’m trying to tell myself to have fun with it and let it happen when it’s meant to. I understand a month is a long time to have to wait if you miss it though.
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Thanks, @whatchamacallit. Yes… it is possible potentially and I’m alternately trying to convince myself of that fact and also just not get the hopes up at all. It takes like 6 hours for the little swimmers to make it into the nooks and crannies of fallopian tubes and if I ovulated when I felt the mittelschmertz it was a good 9 hours or so before their debut, so like 15 hours out? I think MOST eggs die/go bad in about 12 hours even though it is POSSIBLE for them to live 24. So already not ideal. And without the cervical mucus to suck them up, the swimmers likely wouldn’t have gotten very far at all in the first place IF my body didn’t just kill them on sight based on the changed PH… hence the pessimism. But maybe…
I, too, am trying to not go into this process with so much pregnant expectation (pun intended). But it is certainly easier to think or say than to feel. One of the friends we entered the adoption pool at our agency with just brought home a baby girl today after 2 years of waiting and several missed matches like we had. I’m so happy for them. It has both put my whining in perspective knowing just how uncertain everything was during the 18 months we waited and it is also making me acknowledge that I have a ton of pent up anxiety about this process in general that feels related to the traumas of the adoption process in general. I crave certainty and swiftness here like never before and it is harder to rationalize and keep a level head. I was anxious during our one and only try with H but not like this…
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@K_rassy13, do you have any updates? Last I heard you were thinking [name_m]Sep[/name_m] or Oct for another attempt. Did you wind up doing either or still waiting?
@hyacinthbucket [name_m]Hi[/name_m]. So I was going to try on [name_u]November[/name_u] 5th, but my cycle came three days early and I’ll be out of town when I’m ovulating this cycle. And with [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] coming, I’ve decided to wait until [name_u]January[/name_u]. ([name_u]Early[/name_u]–thus an [name_u]October[/name_u] baby.) I did engage the services of two midwives who do IUI and ICI at home! So I will be doing IUI, and hopefully I am blessed with baby dust and a sticky, sticky baby.
Fingers are constantly crossed for all of you!!
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Yes, I can certainly see how not being anxious is easier said than done.
I’ve never technically TTC as my first pregnancy we weren’t actively trying. I did have the heightened awareness that it was a possibility so I did pay attention to every little symptom for those couple of months, but I think it will be different when we’re actually trying. I know this time I’m going to have to find a way to not overthink everything or get stressed.
Yes, easier said than done.
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@K_rassy13, thanks for the check in and well-wishes. You can join us over in TTC 2021 (where a couple of us are already hanging out) anytime! I’m glad you were able to get some midwives. I think that whether it is IUI or ICI having someone with experience walking through this intimate process with you (given that is you alone) should be comforting. Best of luck come the new year!
@whatchamacallit, yes I think part of what helped me last time was 1. Bumping up our original timeline so the resulting try felt very spontaneous even though we had been prepping for months and 2. That I legitimately expected that things might take a while so it was such a pleasant surprise that they didn’t. But now I have that same expectation for things to just fall into place like before and then the debilitating fear that things will be uncertain (adoption trigger) or perilous (my hashimoto’s and the risk of miscarriage and stillbirth) and that IF I’m going to have to go through things I don’t want to face… I want to face them earlier rather than later even though in reality I can control none of it…
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Yeah, I have some of those thoughts and fears too. On top of that there’s DH’s anxiety about it and the possibility that if something went wrong I don’t think he would try again. But I guess all you can really do is keep yourself as healthy and emotionally balanced as possible and pray/hope everything goes smoothly.
Spontaneity definitely helped us last time. I was looking forward to having a little more “control” of planning this time around, but I am really trying to get my head in the place of “when it happens, it happens”.
I think we all need some fun date nights as a distraction! 
We were able to go to a [name_u]Harry[/name_u] [name_m]Potter[/name_m] themed bar this past weekend and it was such a great stress reliever just to be able to get out of the house and have fun for the first time in months.
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The [name_u]Harry[/name_u] potter themed bar sounds really cool. I visited the [name_u]Harry[/name_u] potter studios in [name_u]London[/name_u] last year, it was really good.
I think I am adopting a similar approach to you. When it happens it happens. It could take us 2 months or 10 months or longer. Hopefully not the latter.
I think there are a lot of ‘what ifs’ in every scenario in life.
I read a funny meme on Instagram the other day, it said 'if there isn’t your future self rushing to your present self to tell you that it’s a bad decision, then it can’t be such a bad idea" lol. It was probably a stupid meme but it made me laugh nevertheless.
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All the [name_u]Harry[/name_u] [name_m]Potter[/name_m] sounds fun. I’m still excited for our date time alone tomorrow when A goes to pumpkin patch with his birthmom and H has a dropoff playdate. We need some time alone alone for sure (first time since our anniversary Leap [name_u]Day[/name_u]).
In my head I definitely have the same view of “this could take a while and that is fine.” But it is so hard to get my anxiety to cooperate.
I didn’t get an accurate temp read this morning as I was awoken abruptly by a soggy H who had wet his bed for the first time in a couple months and I helped him out without thinking about it. So at least an extra day has been added to the confirm or deny ovulation timing.
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Alright, I fibbed a little in the other thread, since I have been checking both but my update seems more fitting here.
I had an ultrasound on [name_f]Monday[/name_f] and I could only see the screen while she was doing the external one. Probably for my own good, because I would have been seeing things, not knowing what they were, and getting myself worked up. The tech said it would be about 5 days before I got the results. [name_m]Just[/name_m] trying not to think about it too much.
I was able to confirm that I ovulated so I’m currently 5DPO and of course every little thing that I feel is like ~a sign~ in my head. Extremely tired, headaches, face is flushed but temperature is normal, breast tenderness. I’m just hoping the excitement of Halloween and getting my test results back distracts me for the next week or so.
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Keep us informed fingers crossed 
Omg my A did exactly the same the other day. He has been potty trained for 5 or 6 months and went a good month being potty trained at night. Doing wees before bed and then having a wee first thing in the morns, but last night he did a massive wee! So I was washing bed covers at 3 am. I guess being up at antisocial hours will prepare us for no 3 anyway. 
Did you enjoy your alone time. I always love a bit of peace and quiet. Z and A are back to school/pre school [name_f]Monday[/name_f].
For new ladies of the group, just to explain, we refer to our kiddos names by their initial for privacy reasons. [name_m]Just[/name_m] in case you were wondering what the heck we were talking about.